The Movie Review Thread

[mossy1200]

Why the fuck would a Honda rider watch that crap? It's a guy + girl movie.
Ghey pron action, THEN you'll get a review!

Seems you miss understand.

Im talking 50Shades of Ghey.
Are you referring to that chic flick?

[Swoop]

Seems you miss understand.

Im talking 50Shades of Ghey.
Are you referring to that chic flick?

There was no reference to Ghey in your first post, so obviously.


Also, why else would it be in the "Movie review" thread?

[mossy1200]

There was no reference to Ghey in your first post, so obviously.

Wasn't any grey there either. I was hoping another Honda would cum out of the closet and name their shame unassisted.

[Swoop]

Wasn't any grey there either. I was hoping another Honda would cum out of the closet and name their shame unassisted.

You meet the nicest people on a Honda!


Well...
This afternoon's cyclist might disagree a little...

[mashman]

Jupiter Ascending. Good action flick. Stunning graphics. Watched it in 2D and am regretting it as it'll likely look stunning in 3D. Some cheeeeeese ya can see coming a mile away, but that kinda cushions the blow. An interesting concept, primarily as you have to flesh out yourself. 8/10 aaaaaaaand will probably go to see it in 3D.

[wharekura]

Forced by wife (take me or else) for making her see all the LOR and hobbits with me. I enjoyed the movie to the point asked the wife for the 2nd book for a read. Watching porn - albeit restrained - not a problem with me and the wife, but with an additional 100 or so others a bit awkward.

[sil3nt]

Jupiter Ascending. Good action flick. Stunning graphics. Watched it in 2D and am regretting it as it'll likely look stunning in 3D. Some cheeeeeese ya can see coming a mile away, but that kinda cushions the blow. An interesting concept, primarily as you have to flesh out yourself. 8/10 aaaaaaaand will probably go to see it in 3D.

Been looking forward to this film but the reviews say it is terrible. Might still give it a shot.

[mashman]

Funny I saw about 50 Shades...

"Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal Minds episode."

Been looking forward to this film but the reviews say it is terrible. Might still give it a shot.

The story is very loosely based around a reality that some people have (not on a conspiracy level) and it was at a very high level leaving a lot unexplained. I say this only given your reaction to Lucy . It's feckin pretty, so the perceived weakness of the story didn't really matter that much... and I went into it expecting more from the story.

[mada]

Watched Fury a while back. Very dissapointing film I thought. Parts of it are good for showing the nastiness of war for both sides, but I couldn't hold back nearly choking from laughter at the unbelievable ending.

Spoiler Alert:
Small bunch of hero Americans hold off a whole battallion of heavily armed and seasoned SS Veterans who some how lose all their discipline and knowledge of tactics - and instead unrealistically adopt direct frontal human wave charges against an immobilised sherman.

[rustyrobot]

Kingsman: The Secret Service

A 'very British' take on a spy flick. Reminded me of the James Bond movies I enjoyed so much when I was a kid, with contemporary humour. Surprisingly entertaining and a nice change from some of the American dross I've watched of late. Michael Caine plays an upper closs toff with Michael Caine's accent - and Samuel L Jackson is black Bill Gates with a lisp. Plenty of in jokes and action, and a global warming theme to satisfy the tin-hats. Managed to convince SWMBO to come along as one review said "perfect Valentine's day movie" - turns out the bad guy's name is Valentine. She enjoyed it as much as I did.

Doesn't take itself too seriously (cough *skyfall* cough) or forget to have fun, without being 'the spy who shagged me'.

8/10

[MD]

Watched Fury a while back. Very dissapointing film I thought. Parts of it are good for showing the nastiness of war for both sides, but I couldn't hold back nearly choking from laughter at the unbelievable ending.

Spoiler Alert:
Small bunch of hero Americans hold off a whole battallion of heavily armed and seasoned SS Veterans who some how lose all their discipline and knowledge of tactics - and instead unrealistically adopt direct frontal human wave charges against an immobilised sherman.

Yeah that's where the movie totally lost my approval rating. Ridiculous to expect an audience to believe the germans, or anyone, soldiers or not, would be that useless at attacking an immobilised tank.

Unless the Germans had a very cunning plan stolen from Black Adder. Our troops will slowly walk directly at the tank's guns so the enemy inside will keep shooting us dead and in the process die from finger exhaustion or boredom from killing us so easily.

WHITE TIGERNow here's a gripping WWII tank movie worth watching. 9/10.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24XXECv-oWw

Gruesome and captivating to watch. Interesting to see a Russian perspective on WWII movie making. Also enjoyable because we don't recognise any of the actors. Not relying on big name drawcards. Brad who?

[HenryDorsetCase]

Been looking forward to this film but the reviews say it is terrible. Might still give it a shot.

I am in the same boat. But on the basis of reviews I did NOT go see JOHN CARTER in theatres, and it turned out to be a grossly underrated gem and one I have watched a couple of times since.

[mada]

Yeah that's where the movie totally lost my approval rating. Ridiculous to expect an audience to believe the germans, or anyone, soldiers or not, would be that useless at attacking an immobilised tank.

Unless the Germans had a very cunning plan stolen from Black Adder. Our troops will slowly walk directly at the tank's guns so the enemy inside will keep shooting us dead and in the process die from finger exhaustion or boredom from killing us so easily.

WHITE TIGERNow here's a gripping WWII tank movie worth watching. 9/10.


Gruesome and captivating to watch. Interesting to see a Russian perspective on WWII movie making. Also enjoyable because we don't recognise any of the actors. Not relying on big name drawcards. Brad who?

Yeh totally. Thanks for the White Tiger link, will def get around to seeing that.

Some other foreign war films that I recommend for their different perspectives:

Unsere Mutter, Unsere Father (Our Mothers, Other Fathers) aka Generation War.
- Mini-series showing perspective of your average German non-nazi drafted infantryman who is fighting a war he doesn't believe in and how he tries to cope with the carnage and horror around him.



Tae Guk Gi
- Korean Civil War movie, pretty much the Saving Private Ryan of the Korean war with gripping battle scenes, up close ruthless combat and quite true to history with its portrayal of South Korean army defeats, forced conscription, and massacres by both sides.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY3v9gMehf4

City of Life and Death
- Chinese movie on the Rape of Nanjing (Nanking). This is the Chinese equivalent to Schindlers List (in black and white for whole film too). Shows the perspectives of Chinese civilians, and surrendered soldiers, but unlike other propoganda that comes out reaking of CCP, this one gives a Japenese soldiers perspective on the chaos around him. For this reason it was poorly rated on the Mainland by quite a few ultranationalists.



You should be able to watch all of these movies on youtube with English subs, try to find a HD version of Tae Guk Gi though as the trailer doesnt do it justice.

[Tazz]

Just watched 'What we do in the shadows' last night.

Awesome.

To be honest, I had low expectations, but really enjoyed it. Not a rip snorter right the way through, but not a 'well there were at least 5 good jokes' film either like some NZ efforts of the past.
Hope it does well overseas, they make some dosh and then bust out a few more good 'uns.

Watched Fury a while back. Very dissapointing film I thought. Parts of it are good for showing the nastiness of war for both sides, but I couldn't hold back nearly choking from laughter at the unbelievable ending.

Spoiler Alert:
Small bunch of hero Americans hold off a whole battallion of heavily armed and seasoned SS Veterans who some how lose all their discipline and knowledge of tactics - and instead unrealistically adopt direct frontal human wave charges against an immobilised sherman.

Utter shit that movie is. I can't believe Hollywood is still pumping out that dross. American sniper was another good dose of that.

[Akzle]

Dracula 3000.

i don't know where to start.

with a budget of at least ... fifty bucks, they could have managed ... something else.

with a plot the consistency of vegatarian's shit, and every single cliche in the big-book-of-cliches, the only real redeeming feature was that jubblies survived to the end.

you could watch this movie on mute, i recommend it, actually.
infact. don't bother watching it. just get some still frames.