Children, a blessing

[Headbanger]

5 year old, sitting on the toilet taking a shit, 2.5 year runs up, throws the 5 year olds favorite Lightning McQueen car into the toilet where it sinks below a layer of shit and toilet paper.

5 year old gets upset, get off the toilet to get some help, every time he moves away from the toilet the 2.5 year old tries to flush it. 5 year old proceeds to get extremely upset.

I'm outside watering the garden hearing all hell break loose. I go inside to find the above situation, 1 distressed 5 year old and the 2.5 year old looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

Then, Because I'm the Dad I get to wrap plastic bags around my hand and up my arm, insert it into the toilet full of shit and squeeze it all together until I find the much loved Lightening McQueen.





Friday night sure ain't like it once was.

[Virago]

Bwahahahaha...! That takes me back.

For me it was "Shit-faced Barbie"...

[sidecar bob]

Seriously dude, how much is one of those Lightning McQueen's worth? lol.

[ynot slow]

Almost like when kids finally like to do their toilet stuff alone,memo to all out there,don't assume the toilet duck is safe,bored 2yr olds while waiting like to drop them into bowl and flush,result ok till you decide to go and flush the loo,whoa water rising loo not emptying,then water subsides,phew maybe is ok,then wife goes and oh shit,who flushed the duck?Little hand goes up,"ducky went whoosh",hard to keep straight face at that answer,although explaining don't put kitten in or dolls please,and $45 plumbers bill later.

[Hopeful Bastard]

Almost like when kids finally like to do their toilet stuff alone,memo to all out there,don't assume the toilet duck is safe,bored 2yr olds while waiting like to drop them into bowl and flush,result ok till you decide to go and flush the loo,whoa water rising loo not emptying,then water subsides,phew maybe is ok,then wife goes and oh shit,who flushed the duck?Little hand goes up,"ducky went whoosh",hard to keep straight face at that answer,although explaining don't put kitten in or dolls please,and $45 plumbers bill later.

HAHAHAHAHA!!

I can picture it actually! "da ducky went woosh!"

[Berries]

The only thing I can't get my three year old to put in the toilet are bodily fluids. Toilet rolls and toothbrushes are fair game. As are hairdryers while still switched on. Just managed to stop that one. The toothbrush was the wife's so it only needed a shake clean.

"If it's yellow let it mellow"

[blackdog]

backing out of the driveway to the mailbox

miss 5 says "daddy, make it click..."

"im just going to clear the mail first"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE DADDY MAKE IT CLICK"

hmm waddya say, and try not to pmsl!

[crazyhorse]

Oh My GOD!!! I haven't laughed this much for ages

Sorry, Headbanger, but I feel your pain. Seriously, good thread

[Edbear]

"You must spread...!" That was hilarious!

[MIXONE]

Somebody once said "Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children".
The things we will do for our kids eh.

[martybabe]

Hahaha, the joys of parenthood eh.

Reminds me of the time we had a few folks round, just drinkin and a chattin. My little girl decides to sit on the potty and let one rip.
Clearly waiting for it to drop was beyond a small child's endurance so before disengagement had properly finished, she ups and legs it across the lounge at full speed, closely followed by the turd. Myself and the guests watched in amazement as the thing gained momentum,yet seemed to travel in slow motion as it gambolled and squished it's way across the carpet in proper dam busters fashion. It finally finished it's escape bid right in the middle of the lounge among the outstreched legs and drinks of the astonished onlookers.

Despite several later attempts, she never could repeat the spectacle of the incredible bouncing poo...I think the speed of take off and the consistency of the brown torpedo has to be just right to get several adults running for their lives. Kids!

[Hopeful Bastard]

Hahaha, the joys of parenthood eh..[text] Kids!

HAHAHAHAH!!!!! Bling sent your way!! I'm meant to be in bed asleep and a literally laughed out loud.. Had to make sure no one heard me! Good one!

[98tls]

Love it.Many years ago i offered to babysit one of those baby things,all good until it started to stink,managed to change the nappy things ok but found myself dry retching whilst trying to get the contents to go down the laundry plug hole,owner of said baby thing came home and simply fell on the floor laughing at my condition and simply pointed to the toiletbitch