O x y m o r o n s

**crazyhorse** · 14th April 2010, 06:34

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called " stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12.. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13.. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway ?
I dunno, why do we?

**slofox** · 14th April 2010, 07:22

You think too much crazyhorse...

**Love my Bonnie** · 14th April 2010, 08:41

There is a bike shop down the line called "Harley Speed & custom"

a classic example of an oxymoron

**disenfranchised** · 14th April 2010, 08:41

Some answers

Originally Posted by crazyhorse

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Crack is whack...does that count

Originally Posted by crazyhorse

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Sometime they pull

Originally Posted by crazyhorse

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Because it's after it BECOMES dark

**DVS 69** · 14th April 2010, 10:31

Originally Posted by Love my Bonnie

There is a bike shop down the line called "Harley Speed & custom"

a classic example of an oxymoron

Ahahahahaha ............... I like it :-)

**avgas** · 14th April 2010, 11:07

Some ones I have picked up over time:
"Self Service"
"Easy to Use Mechanism"
"Highly developed new concept"
"Old new feeling"
"Simple interface" (when have you seen some simple call it an interface?)

**allycatz** · 14th April 2010, 11:08

Seen recently browsing a dating site.....'I like to have fun, I have a bach in Foxton'.....oxymoron surely?????

**avgas** · 14th April 2010, 11:08

Originally Posted by Love my Bonnie

There is a bike shop down the line called "Harley Speed & custom"

a classic example of an oxymoron

Like "Triumph reliability"?

**avgas** · 14th April 2010, 11:11

Originally Posted by crazyhorse

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

This is engineering speak for - "This is not where it should be, and should be hit with a hammer".
I am not lying here either. Same goes for the term "Gremlins"
this was when the electrical stuff does not work as planned - they blamed it on a fictitious creatures called gremlins. Ex-forces engineer speak for I can't be fucked fixing it, its too weird "Just watch out - that plane has gremlins."

**rustyrobot** · 14th April 2010, 11:12

Why do we call it a 'near miss' when we nearly hit something?

**slofox** · 14th April 2010, 11:57

"New and Improved"

If it's "new", it's never been around before, hence can't be "improved".

If it's "improved", it's an upgraded version of something already existing, so can't be "new".

**Bikemad** · 14th April 2010, 12:10

you cats all got too much spare time on ya hands so answer me this...............when ya get something in ya eye and go to the clinic to have it dug out why do they make you do the eyetest chart thing...................i dont get it................if i went there with a broken arm would they get me to benchpress some weights...............