A couple of highly distasteful jokes - DON'T read if you're the sensitive type...

[Jonno.]

A string walks into a bar. The bartender says to the string "we don't serve your kind here".

The string walks outside and thinks for a moment. He then ties himself in a knot and ruffles up his ends. He walks back to the bar and the bartender says, "hey, aren't you that string?"

The string replies "I'm a frayed knot"

[Skinon]

Haha!!! some dam goodones in here, they will be filed under 'ron' for later on.

A politician walks into a bar with a frog on his head, the barman says ''Jeez mate, where'd you get that from?"

The frog speaks up "Oh, it started out as a wart on my ass."

[sosman]

What the difference between a Prostitute & a Slut?

A prostitute will sleep with everyone......

And a slut will sleep with everyone but You!

[Laava]

The good thing about paedophiles is they drive slowly past schools!

[Skinon]

haahahahah!!!

[Bikernereid]

What I find humorous is, people who quote only part of a post...making it 'out of context'.

Can you answer this? What 'type of mind' would joke about the Holocaust and having sex with 3 year olds?

If you need to red rep me for my sense of humour, when do I get sent to the gulag for the rest of my opinion and belief in freedom of speech?

[Maha]

Not really 'Freedom of Speech' online though is it?, I mean, lets be honest here, at best, all anyone ever does is offer up an opinion or thought.
There is no sound therefore speech does not come into this form of communication.
So you are right by using the word opinion, but freedom of speech? nup!

I offered up my opinion in the 2nd post and ole 'Slot Machine' came in with his opinion on my opinion, see how this works?

[Mully]

Bloke walks into his house with a pig under his arm.

Goes up to his wife and says "This is the cow I've been shagging"

Wife says "That's a pig"

Bloke says "I was talking to the pig"

[Skinon]

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by
cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if
they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest
and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate
ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your
ass without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.

The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was
killed and went to heaven.

The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial
to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy.
1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in
laughter, therefore also was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why
did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming, he was carrying pineapples."

[Skinon]

There were 3 explorers, exploring the mighty amazon when they are captured by head hunters.
They are taken back to the where they meet with the chief.

"You have tresspassed on sacred land, you must choose death. Or Roo-Roo."

The 3 explorers look at each other puzzled and fearful... The first explorer says,

"Well im not gonna die, so obviously i choose Roo-roo" He says with a smirk.

The chief says, "You have chosen Roo-roo!" and as he says that, a giant native comes out of one of the huts grumbling "Roo-roo...." This native is 7 foot tall 160kgs and is naked with the hugest cock you've ever seen.

He lumbers over to the shocked explorer and throws him over a cerimonial block and fucks him up the ass while the others watch in horror! Then lets him go and he sprints outta the village as fast as he can.

Next the chief looks too the other 2 remaining, and says "Death, or Roo-roo!"

Clearly distraught the next guy says "Well fuck it, i have a family i dont wanna die! just get it over with." -and immediatly is thrown over the block to be roo-roo'd till bleeding and sore, then he runs off into the distance.

Finally the chief looks at the last man. "Death, or ROO-ROO!"

The last man is alot stronger willed than his friends, and he says "Look, no way is that happening to me! So you can get fucked! hahaha! i choose death!"

The chief, without batting an eyelid, says "You choose death. Death by ROO-ROO!!"

[Skinon]

And just some favourite chuck norris facts...

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

Every time Chuck Norris smiles, someone dies. Unless he smiles while he’s roundhouse kicking someone in the face. Then two people die.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Ha... i should prob go to bed na...

[Grubber]

Not really 'Freedom of Speech' online though is it?, I mean, lets be honest here, at best, all anyone ever does is offer up an opinion or thought.
There is no sound therefore speech does not come into this form of communication.
So you are right by using the word opinion, but freedom of speech? nup!

I offered up my opinion in the 2nd post and ole 'Slot Machine' came in with his opinion on my opinion, see how this works?

He He He..lovely bit of sarcasm there. Just nuzzled it in without being noticed. The best kind.

[onearmedbandit]

Not really

I offered up my opinion in the 2nd post and ole 'Slot Machine' came in with his opinion on my opinion, see how this works?

Ka-ching ka-ching. Everyone's a winner!

(ooo, hope you don't get upset with me only partially quoting your post)

[Stirts]

What is 18 inches long, stiff and makes women scream at night?
Cott death.


What's blue and never fits properly?
A dead epileptic.


Why can't little black kids play in the sandbox
Because the cats keep burying them

[MSTRS:Me]

3 whitemen are captured by Indians.
The chief tells them they can each have one wish before they die.
The first one wants a smoke. He finishes and the chief says "Now kill him and use his skin to make a canoe"
The second one wants a drink. He finishes and the chief says "Now kill him and use his skin to make a canoe"
The third one wants a fork. Then he stabs himself all over, saying "You're not making a fucking canoe out of me"