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Thread: an irish tale

  1. #31
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    A man walks into a bar & sees the publican's dog licking itself. The man sez 'I wish I could do that'. The publican sez 'Give him a biscuit - he might let you'
    Badaboom
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  2. #32
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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by bugjuice
    hey, this is an irish thread. go to the bar...
    love to - your shout?
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS
    love to - your shout?
    AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    loud enough?

  5. #35
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    ..bastard..
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS
    ..bastard..
    wah wah

    It's spanish for 'baby' heh
    The world will look up and shout "Save Us!", and I'll whisper "no"

  7. #37
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    From the great Billy T
    A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a beer.
    Barman says " sorry, we dont serve rope in here"
    Rope says " Pardon ? "
    Barman : "we dont serve rope in here"
    Rope then walks out, twists himself around a few times, and says to his mate lend us your comb. He then proceeds to comb his hair out into long strands.
    He reenters the pub and says, "one beer please barman"
    Barman says, I told you, we dont serve rope here. You're a rope aren't you?"
    Rope replies " No, I'm a frayed knot "
    "Not one day that we are here on this earth has been promised to us, so make the most of every day as if it was your last, and every breath ,as if it were the same"

  8. #38
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    Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."
    The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
    "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Gerry.
    The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's
    truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000' foot drop and says,
    "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
    Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
    Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head andsays,
    "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!"


    THERE'S MORE


    The next minute, Seamus pulls up in his truck at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
    "Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Paddy watches as half way down ,Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to
    plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says," And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!"


    IT IS NOT OVER YET:


    Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean Og appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken.
    Sean Og then hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
    Once more Paddy shakes his head.
    "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting and now Sean Og and his fook'n hengliding!"
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

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