know how to get on top in the office?

**nadroj** · 13th March 2006, 20:52

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder
about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bull Shit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top

**Edbear** · 13th March 2006, 20:55

Damn i knew I wuz doin' it all wrong...!

**Goblin** · 13th March 2006, 21:06

**Back Fire** · 13th March 2006, 21:09

rather interesting to think about

**Gremlin** · 13th March 2006, 21:30

We joke, but I had this for an accounting paper...

Hard work on an assignment, understanding everything, netted me a bare pass. On the second, I bullshitted my way through, almost a perfect mark...

**Wolf** · 14th March 2006, 07:51

Originally Posted by Gremlin

We joke, but I had this for an accounting paper...

Hard work on an assignment, understanding everything, netted me a bare pass. On the second, I bullshitted my way through, almost a perfect mark...

So really successful accountants bullshit a lot? No surprises there...

**Flatcap** · 14th March 2006, 07:57

I also heard that five out of four accountants have difficulty with fractions...

**TwoSeven** · 14th March 2006, 11:06

Hold up left hand. Count off each finger starting from 10 and going down 1 for each finger counted (inc the thumb) til you run out of fingers. so 10=thumb, 9=index finger , 8,... etc. remember the last number. Hold up right hand, add the number of fingers (inc thumb) on that hand, to the value that you remembered from the left hand. Whats the answer.

And people tell me they only have 10 fingers

**Wolf** · 14th March 2006, 11:27

Originally Posted by TwoSeven

Hold up left hand. Count off each finger starting from 10 and going down 1 for each finger counted (inc the thumb) til you run out of fingers. so 10=thumb, 9=index finger , 8,... etc. remember the last number. Hold up right hand, add the number of fingers (inc thumb) on that hand, to the value that you remembered from the left hand. Whats the answer.

And people tell me they only have 10 fingers

Learn how to count in binary on your fingers, if nothing else you will gain the most remarkable dexterity once you get past 7 and you can count to 31 on one hand, 1023 on both.

You can also give a "binary 4" to people that fuck you off...

**TwoSeven** · 15th March 2006, 08:10

Hah, binary - keep it human translatable - 407H on both hands

**YellowDog** · 14th July 2009, 19:21

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you:

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hardwork and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

'REMEMBER: SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM.'

**ynot slow** · 14th July 2009, 20:14

I used to piss the coach off when he would ask for 115% effort in second half.I'd say just give it all guys once on the field,usually if I gave 100% or my best that was all I could ask of them.

**tri boy** · 14th July 2009, 20:19

bludging scores pretty good at about 78.

that'l do me

**mossy1200** · 14th July 2009, 20:39

day-off is 55% and that will do me just fine.

**sinfull** · 14th July 2009, 20:49

I recon he see's 90% of the slack time you have and 2 % of the time you work ! Therefore you will not be hired by my firm, no way, your a slacker ! You prolly even have morning smoko !!
Don't you know national is in government now ?
And you come with mathmatical equations ? baaaaaahaaaaahaaaaabaaaa !
Bet the guy your boss has lined up for your job has better blood ! You in in in bread you !!!!