Dads are just more honest

[Spicer]

Dads are just more honest "Mom? I've got a question. The guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, dear?"
"Pussy and Bitch."
Mom inhaled sharply, but then said: "Oh, that's easy. A pussy is a cat, like our little Chico . A bitch is a female dog, like our Sandy ."
"Thanks, Mom.."
He then found his Dad out in the garage.

"Dad, the guys at school are using words I don't understand."
"What words, son?"
"Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don't think she told me the right meanings."
Dad said: "Son, never ask your mother about these things, ask me instead. Let me explain it like this."
He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centerfold, drew a circle around the pubic area and said: "Son, everything inside the circle is pussy."
"Okay, Dad. Then what's a bitch?"
Dad replied: "Everything outside the circle."

[Number One]

My old man was like that...straight up.

He couldn't abide words like diddle and bum bum and other 'baby terms'

...this was until I (at knee high to a grasshopper) announced to a Friday lunchtime bank crowd "That's my daddies cock!" it was all diddles and bumbums from then on in

tis a delicate balance to be met at times