"Dumb down your CV" - jobseeker told

[Headbanger]

WINZ told me to consider going to Australia. How's that for ambitious for NZ?

.

Winz are awesome.

Loved having a young women half my age inform me of the facts of life.

Then after reading my CV with all my experience, training and qualifications suggest some training...to complete what I already had....wtf?.....then inform me I'd have to attend a seminar where they would teach me how to prepare a CV (lady, its in your fucking hand and its awesome), dress for an interview, and talk to people.

FFS, I do not arrive for an interview in a skull shirt, puffing on a rolly, smelling like weed, booze and b.o. and going "yo yo wat up my nigger" just because so many of the unemployable fuckers that waste there days there do.

Anyway, I told her my back fucks out, too many years doing hard labour so no use giving me a job on a shovel as it will be wasting every bodies time. Mine, winz, the employer, But hey I have a lot to offer and there is plenty of young fuckwits in sight who would be well served doing some shovel work.

At which time she informs me that its highly likely they will refer me to a position that will be unsuitable and that I'm not allowed to refuse it, and if I do refuse it then I'll be bounced onto a sickness benifit....

FUCK ME FUCKING DEAD.

[avgas]

Headbanger I feel your pain. Old man had similar situation about a decade a go.

I walked into WINZ (ONCE!) head hung low as I had no work. The forced me attend a day of training on how to apply for jobs - I then showed them my inbox with (at the time) 200 applications pending. Poor girl did not know what to do - turns out winz applicants who are already applying for work aren't in the manual.
I still didn't qualify for anything, even assistance to get a job.
If winz disappeared tomorrow, and took the benefit with it - I would not cry a single tear. I would simply buy an 20 gauge and show the wife how to clear a doorway of thieves.

[Love my Bonnie]

Don't feel too bad. Turns out if you have "B. Engineering" on your CV people think you are retarded.
They are only half wrong.

I got a B. Education, cant get a job either.
I was turned down by BP, cant even use my degree to pump gas!!

[Forest]

I've been working for myself for the last ten years.

Why the fuck would any capable person want to work for somebody other than themself?

[Big Dave]

I've been working for myself for the last ten years.

Why the fuck would any capable person want to work for somebody other than themself?

More money.

[Headbanger]

I got this one a couple days back.

Thank you for your recent application with us. We have had a great response to our advert and regretfully you haven't been shortlisted for this particular vacancy. However, we feel you have some very valuable skills so would like to keep your details in our HR file should an alternative position arise in the future.

Please contact us if you do not wish for us to keep your details, otherwise I hope we can be in contact with you in the future should a suitable vacancy arise.

It was almost enough to make me think they had actually read my CV, felt I had some valuable skills and they were hoping to contact me in the future......

But no, The moment passed.

[Indiana_Jones]

do companies pride themselves on hiring people with no ambition??

It seems to be that way with a lot of companies out there.

I guess I'm lucky I work for a company that encourage people to advance themselves and will help with time off work and help pay for it.

-Indy

[Smifffy]

It's no wonder that HR & Recruiters are the first to moan about a skills shortage - It's most apparent in their own industry!

[StoneY]

I've been working for myself for the last ten years.

Why the fuck would any capable person want to work for somebody other than themself?

After 10 years of self employment and contracting I prefer the 7.5 hour days and regular salary deposits as opposed to the 16 hour days and fuck all money left after tax, rates, leases, cell bills, etc etc.

You keep on working for yourself if that dings your bells, its not everyones cup of tea, some like having a life to enjoy as well!

[Coldrider]

Self employment for me, bosses suck it up big time.

[avgas]

I got this one a couple days back.
It was almost enough to make me think they had actually read my CV, felt I had some valuable skills and they were hoping to contact me in the future......
But no, The moment passed.

Oh don't worry they will.
I haven't applied for a job for over a year now. Seems now they are getting desperate for a few jobs out there. Digging deep into their database.
I have been 'invited' to applied for 10 jobs in the last week. This is hilarious considering they could not even get me the most basic job 14 months ago.
I wish I met a DBA for one of these firms - would get him to put my name on the top of all the lists and queries.

[Toaster]

I got a B. Education, cant get a job either.
I was turned down by BP, cant even use my degree to pump gas!!

That is because it is an OSH issue.... pumping gas is a danger to service station staff, much like checking oil or water levels. Best just stand behind the counter and try to sell expired chocolate bar specials. But hey Petrol Station service would be a whole other thread!