Personal responsibility goes out the window...

[rachprice]

From what I understand, and correct me if I'm wrong, but certain European countries (I believe France may be one of them) where children are introduced to alcohol at a younger age in a controled environment have a much lower incidence of 'binge drinking' and other social harms that abuse brings. Maybe by putting it up on the top shelf and keeping it out of their reach, while all the wise adults enjoy themselves by indulging, has the exact opposite effect than what we hoped for.

Yeah you are right, particularly in Italy!
I had some Italian friends whose sisters at about 4/5yrs were drinking a little wine with dinner, there is not problem with alcohol now they are older

[Indiana_Jones]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/ar...ectid=10644213

WOW! A doctor with a son who went to a fancy private school has failed to educate her son on the dangers of stealing grandmas vodka and drinking the whole bottle is now telling John Key he needs to do his job and make it harder to get alcohol?

"....public school boys, soft as shite"

-Indy

[Genie]

Parenting starts the moment we birth them...not at 13/14/15, it's about time parents woke up and instilled good old tradtional values and I've always thought all school leavers should have compulsary 6 weeks basic training in the army...might sort some of the shit out that crap parents have put in!!!!!

[oldrider]

Um, she's not the kid's mother. Just has a kid at the same school, and an opinion, and is a doctor, so has some cred for some media exposure.

I think she's right. If you remove all regulations (the other extreme to what she's proposing) more kids would drink themselves to death - how many have any self-control at that age? I didn't, not even when I was much older. More regulations won't stop everything like this happening, to be sure, but perhaps they'll discourage it a bit.

Got any better suggestions to fix the culture here?

Ok, I will make a suggestion.

Stop punishing the kids who get it right and don't cause any problems!

Then focus on sorting out the kids that get it wrong! ( I believe that they are the minority)

How's that for starters? (Serious suggestion, not trying to be a smart arse here!)

[huff3r]

Cummon. That's a pretty unfair summation of the kid. I'd say he probably was a really nice kid, and probably had a pretty bright future. I doubt he had a callous bone in his body. He stole a bottle of vodka, ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... !!!! You never steal the odd bits of booze off the olds and tell the odd fib? That does'nt make him a bad kid, it makes him the same as every other kid, just by the sounds of it, for the first time in his life!

Umm... actually i didnt. Stealing booze? From family? Nope thats wrong. Stealing anything is wrong. Its all about bringing them up right, and in the case of the boarding school it kind of has to be up to the teachers, as parents are not really involved.

Oh, and at 16 I didnt drink. I had maybe 2 beers the entire year, same for 17, then at 18 was when i started. Because i have a respect for the laws of my country, instilled in me by my parents when i was a kid, and because I have respect for alcohol and the damage it can do, taught to me at school. (Can't speak for the NZ curriculum however as i was educated in NZ, Singapore and Thailand)

[huff3r]

Ok, I will make a suggestion.

Stop punishing the kids who get it right and don't cause any problems!

Then focus on sorting out the kids that get it wrong! ( I believe that they are the minority)

How's that for starters? (Serious suggestion, not trying to be a smart arse here!)

I agree with this idea!! Leave me be!! Focus on the little wee 16yr-old drunks like all my work-mates!!

[CookMySock]

The kid should have been inside that club. Supervised. I know the law says they can't, but what would have been safer in this situation?


Steve

[Mom]

My heart goes out to the family of that young boy that died. I wont give him a name on here. Too friggen sad for all affected by this terrible event.

He is just an example of how this generation of parents are letting their kids down. I dont much care if you are the beneficiary of a private school education or you had to rough it at your local high school, as parents we have a responsibility to instill a few values in our kids. Top of that list for me and mine is SELF RESPECT. He appeared to be a little fella too, would not take too much alcohol to do damge to that young body.

I am sure that the parents of this little fella loved him dearly, but they elected to place his formative years at a boarding school. Now, I am not dissing the school, or that decision either, we have had a daughter in a boarding situation, they do what they can. Rules are made and respected, certainly in this instance they were. This youngster told the same porkie I am sure most of us have told at that stage of our lives, difference is, he paid for his porky with his life.

The question is why the hell did he feel he needed to steal booze from his nana and scull it before going to a party? Where was the education about the dangers of booze to a young body? Where were the adults supervising this party when he arrived after drinking all this booze? Why did he feel he had to drink this amount of booze to be cool. So many questions, none of which will bring this young man back.

There was a young bloke that died up here a couple of years ago. A little bit older but still got seriously drunk and no one decided to look out for him. He was not driving, he was on a push bike. Left a party and never arrived home. ABOUT A WEEK LATER HIS BODY POPPED UP OUT OF THE RIVER WHERE HE HAD FALLEN. Opps CAPS, but I wont change it. He died as a result of excessive drinking and no one registered it.

We MUST instil an enormous sense of self respect in our kids. The kind of self respect that they can fall back on and know they dont need to bow to peer pressure. The kind of self respect that allows them to chose friends that will laugh like hell at them when they do get pissed and spin and spew, that would never encourage them to drink dangerously, and the ones that will look after them if they do make a miscalculation in what they have consumed, and not leave them to die. So very sad.

[Tank]

The kid should have been inside that club. Supervised. I know the law says they can't, but what would have been safer in this situation?


Steve

Why? (and Im not picking at you in this thread - its too serious for that) The kid is responsible for himself. Why should others have to break the law - put their licence / business / club at risk simply on the off chance that some underaged kid might decide to drink to a point that he could (and in this case did) die?

Should any bar open for any kid that want to go get pissed? Where do you draw the line - 15? 12? 7?

I feel for his family, his friends and the people who tried to help him - but its just another case of Darwinism. I wish it didnt happen - but people will do stupid stuff - and some will die doing it. Its not for the g'ment to fix (as per OPs link) - its for people to be responsible for themselves and not doing stupid shit.

[Dave Lobster]

And then have the kids throw it in the face of the parents that they aren't trusting them? Yeah i can see that working well with hormonal teenagers...

If they're telling lies, why should you trust them or even let them out of the house?

[Mom]

If they're telling lies, why should you trust them or even let them out of the house?

I had a talk with my youngest daughter today about this. She is 18, out of school and while not financially independant yet, very much independant every other way. Porkies are subjective. How the hell do you know they are telling them? I learned a few interesting things that my lovelies got up to tonight, I had no idea! I defy any of you to say you never did anything sneaky, or naughty when you were in those formative years.

So they tell a lie, you find them out, you punish them. I have had that scenario too. She punished herself much harsher than we did for letting us down, mind you she served some serious down time as a result of it. Then you let them go again. We have been lucky, it worked for us.

[schrodingers cat]

My heart goes out to the family of that young boy that died.

That said, give this dumbass boy a (posthumous) Darwin Award and stop with the hand wringing.

One hopes his peers will learn from this. I doubt it.

[peasea]

Parenting starts the moment we birth them...not at 13/14/15, it's about time parents woke up and instilled good old tradtional values and I've always thought all school leavers should have compulsary 6 weeks basic training in the army...might sort some of the shit out that crap parents have put in!!!!!

If they got basic training at home BEFORE they got to school they wouldn't need military training. (They probably wouldn't stab their teachers either.)

[peasea]

If they're telling lies, why should you trust them or even let them out of the house?

That's a hard one.

I've caught my kids telling porkies and I tell you what; they cringed and were apologetic and remorseful. I can handle a lot of crap but not lies. Some kids lie through their teeth, but why? I have found that if the relationship is solid from the beginning then they're up front about what they're up to, where they're going and who they're going with etc. I would imagine that the liars don't have a solid relationship with their parents, which is sad and dangerous, even (as in this case) fatal.

[firefighter]

Umm... actually i didnt. Stealing booze? From family? Nope thats wrong. Stealing anything is wrong.

Ok Jesus. By the way, who the fuck asked you?

Yep, I pinched heaps off the old man.......(maybe not heaps but enough) I think pinching the odd bit of booze off the olds is part of growing up.....! Did you have ANY fun as a kid? Or one of those kids that stayed home on friday and saturday nights? (surely)

Oh, and at 16 I didnt drink. I had maybe 2 beers the entire year, same for 17, then at 18 was when i started. Because i have a respect for the laws of my country, instilled in me by my parents when i was a kid, and because I have respect for alcohol and the damage it can do, taught to me at school. (Can't speak for the NZ curriculum however as i was educated in NZ, Singapore and Thailand)

Ohhh, so you had no friends.....! The fact that you were a geek does'nt mean everyone should be!

"I have respect fro the laws of my country...." You are trolling right?!!!! Are you really that much of a wowser?! Jesus even the Air Force is going to have too adventurous and naughty people for you to get on with!

I take it you've never, ever sped either!