What do I do with this info?

[rustyrobot]

There's a (6 year old) boy who is friends with our kid that sometimes comes over to play after school. Just getting to know him, don't know his family. Anyway, he's casually let slip some pretty scary things about what has gone on in his family before, mostly stuff from before they moved to this town. I don't know his parents other than seeing him at school drop off or when they pick him up. Today I saw his mum at school with his (slightly) older sister, I think she's 11. Her arm was in a sling. The boy has come over to play at our house and on the way home I asked what happened to his sister. Totally casually he told me that his step-father pushed her down the stairs again and this time she broke her arm and had to go to the hospital in Auckland.

So... what the fuck do I do with this info? Have no reason to believe the kid is lying. They HAVE had fucked up stuff going on in the past obviously. Since I don't know the family I can't hit them up on it, but if I go to the police or some agency, I only have the 6 year old's word to go on, and fuck - i don't want to get him in trouble with this asshole who is obviously scary violent.

[mashman]

CYFS or Barnardos... I chose the latter... just in case there was a legitimate excuse for the heath of the child...

[p.dath]

Holy shit. What a hard one. You know if you involve CYFS and there is an innocent explanation the family is probably going to go through two years of hell. But on the other hand you don't want to risk standing by and letting potential child abuse occur.
Children sometimes have a distorted view of reality.

I think I'd agonise over it, and then call CYFS.

[blackdog]

is there a social worker/counsellor at school that can talk to both the kids, see if the stories match up, i guess they are trained to be able to recognise abuse?

a second opinion wouldn't hurt before going any further..........

[JimO]

is there a social worker/counsellor at school that can talk to both the kids, see if the stories match up, i guess they are trained to be able to recognise abuse?

a second opinion wouldn't hurt before going any further..........

what he said

[rustyrobot]

Yeah, will talk to the youth worker at my work tomorrow and maybe the principal at my boy's school. The girl goes to a different (intermediate) school. Definitely won't be sending our boy over to their house. Makes me so fucking mad - beating up on a 11 year old girl. GRRRRRR!

[EJK]

Yep. A story told and being blamed on is better than being ignorant...



.......I think.

[Mully]

I think I'd agonise over it, and then call CYFS.

This 'un.

Better to be over cautious than do nothing.

[Tank]

Think how bad you will feel if you are wrong and there is no issue and you cause grief for innocent parents.










Now think how bad you will feel if you are right and the kid gets badly injured or killed and you sat on the information.






if you feel worse for the second one - talk to someone - the kids schools is a really good place to start. They see the kids a lot and will hopefully a better idea of the 'warning signs'.

Too many kids have been the victim of people not doing something - dont add to it.

Best of luck.

[yachtie10]

is there a social worker/counsellor at school that can talk to both the kids, see if the stories match up, i guess they are trained to be able to recognise abuse?

a second opinion wouldn't hurt before going any further..........

+1
you need to do something

[GOONR]

....think how bad you will feel if you are right and the kid gets badly injured or killed and you sat on the information.....

+1. That would be enough of a reason for me to take it further if I were in this situation.

[spajohn]

I think you have plenty of good advice already to go with. I would just add that if you start with the school, as for some follow up to ensure that you feel comfortable they have listened to you, rather than chosen to bury it, then you can reassess if it needs to be escalated further, such as to CYFS.

[Mom]

This needs reporting if only to ensure that the young fella that told you this, and it turns out to be porkies, gets some help. School is a great place to start, but I would be inclined to go directly to CYPS myself. That way at least you know you did what you could eh.

Sorry you are in this place too.

[bones135]

I think you have plenty of good advice already to go with. I would just add that if you start with the school, as for some follow up to ensure that you feel comfortable they have listened to you, rather than chosen to bury it, then you can reassess if it needs to be escalated further, such as to CYFS.

I agree, if you can maybe keep an eye on the kids too, maybe any changes in them. Something needs to be done & far better to be safe than sorry....the next time maybe to late.

[oldrider]

If the boy's story is correct, they probably already are known to CYFS, if not let them check it out!

The important one for you to work on is getting your own kids to understand the situation. Good luck, definitely not an easy one for you.