Rhymes/Limericks

[LB]

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This is a very good way to start the day...keep em coming (as it were)
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[Krayy]

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too, 'cos he was gay!

[Eurodave]

Simple Simon
Met a pieman
Going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the pieman
What have you got there?
PIES CUNT!!!

[Eurodave]

Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffett
Eating her curds & whey
Down came a spider
sat down beside her
And she said "fuck off hairy legs!"

[MSTRS:Me]

The boy stood on the burning deck
Picking his nose like mad
He rolled it in a little ball
And flicked it at his dad

[Eurodave]

Things that go bump in the night
Shouldnt give you a fright
Its the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear
That & the absence of light

[Spike Milligan]

[Eurodave]

I must go back one day
Back to the sea & sky
because I left my knickers there
I wonder if they're dry?

[Spike Milligan]

[Wolf]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite econonical
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical


Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Nude as the day she was born
I wasn't a spider
That sat down beside her
T'was Little Boy Blue with his horn


Little Miss Muffet
Decided to "rough it"
In a log cabin, old and medieval,
A Bounder espied 'er
And plied 'er with cider
And now she's the forest's Prime Evil

[MSTRS:Me]

Mary had a little lamb
And a big, black dog came along and fucked it

[Sniper]

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as charcol
Every time you stroked its back
Sparks flew out its arsehole

[Wolf]

Mary had a little lamb
The midwife fainted.

[Krayy]

...[Spike Milligan]

Ah yes, Spike Milligan......

I don't mind pussy-cats they only eat mice and rats
But a Hippopotamus, well he could eat the lot of us

[What?]

Little Jack Horner
Lay in the corner
Eating his girlfriend's quim
He stuck in his thumb
And pulled out a plum
And said "That's a funny looking cherry"

[ZorsT]

In 1969 the queen was drinking wine
She dropped the glass
And cut her arse
In 1969

[Goddess of Goof]

Said the Duchess, while pouring out tea,

"Do You Fhart When You Pee ?"

I replied with some wit,

"Do you Belch when you Shit ?"

And I thought that was one up to me !





There was a young man called McGruder,
Who wooed a blonde nude in Bermuda.
The Blonde thought it rude
to be wooed in the nude,
But McGruder was shrewder;
And Screwed her!

Ah, these Scotsmen.........

A young soccer fan called McCloud
was having a f**k in a crowd.
A man up the front
said "I can smell cunt..."
Just quiet, like that, and not loud.