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Thread: Buy a GOLDFISH

  1. #1
    Join Date
    11th January 2005 - 09:53
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    01 Honda CBR 600. Rossi Replica
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    Auckland
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    187

    Buy a GOLDFISH

    Long but read....

    Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar ...

    The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit .

    Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.

    Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

    Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

    The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder ...

    Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

    Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession

    Dave: - Oh! What's that then?

    Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?

    Dave: - Er.. mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!

    Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

    Dave: - It's in a pond!

    Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

    Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

    Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

    Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house, built it myself!

    Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

    Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

    Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!

    Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

    Dave: - Do what? Not me mate!

    Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

    Dave: - How's that then?

    Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

    Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive ... thanks mate!

    Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.

    Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

    Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

    Stuart: - What's that then?

    Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

    Stuart: - Nope

    Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker.

  2. #2
    I've been a wanker all my life....
    In and out of jobs, running free
    Waging war with society

  3. #3
    Join Date
    23rd January 2005 - 11:00
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    Quote Originally Posted by Motu
    I've been a wanker all my life....
    all your life motu??? Even the prepubescent part???

  4. #4
    Never had goldfish then either - but we did find a goldfish in the gutter one rainy day,but gave it to my grandmother....hey,if my Nana had goldfish,will that do??
    In and out of jobs, running free
    Waging war with society

  5. #5
    Join Date
    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    Aquired by locals
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    Groote Eylandt
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    StoneChucker, I think they are trying to take the piss out of you and me? Do you have a goldfish?
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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