How to help a friend in need?

**rachprice** · 7th July 2010, 17:03

Oh you poor wee thing!!!
That is so awful......
I hope you feel better soon

Like everyone says you have done wonderfully and are an amazing friend and never think otherwise!

**Hans** · 7th July 2010, 17:39

Originally Posted by Murray

You are a wonderful person and anyone should be grateful to be able to call you a friend.

I wish you well and he is the one who will be all the worse off for breaking ties with you!!

All on KB respect you for what you have done and tried to do - take pride in that and keep positive

Hear hear. You have done all you could have.

**Teflon** · 7th July 2010, 17:56

Sounds like he's on the wrong medication and his testosterone levels are low

3 month cycle of Sustanon, while training heavy deadlifts, squats and bench.. pct, Tamoxifen and Creatine, and light training for a few weeks

make sure he doesn't eat and train like a bitch..

This will fix him

**ajturbo** · 7th July 2010, 19:13

take him for a ride on the back of your bike......if that wont do it.. nothing willl

**Toaster** · 7th July 2010, 19:17

Gie him a pair of NIKE shoes.

**rachprice** · 7th July 2010, 19:21

Originally Posted by Teflon

Tamoxifen

Ahhhhh what the fuck? A breast cancer treatment???

Whoa just googled it....man that is messed up...

**rustic101** · 7th July 2010, 20:35

Originally Posted by Katiepie

How do you help a friend during their darkest times?

I have been helping a good friend for a while now try to get through a very dark time in his life. Just when I thought we were making progress, good progress, he has slipped back into an awful place.

He sufferers from depression. He is being treated and I thought he was finally on the right medication. But he in now suicidal again, and I fear that this time he may be successful.

His family know, I keep in close contact with his mother. He is getting plenty of support through hospitals, has been through psych wards and has plenty of help on hand. But he doesn't think he can get better.

Has anyone supported someone through this situation before? If so, how did you help?

I have a lot going on myself and don't feel strong enough to give him the help that he needs, but if something happened to him, it would be on my shoulders for the rest of my life.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm afraid he has given himself a time limit, and a very short one at that.

I've had (have) been diagnosed with PTSD. A few years after this I was also subsequently diagnosed as suffering from depression. There is still the odd day or two in a year where I just am not able to engage with anything or anyone.

Katie, everyone is different and I admire and respect your efforts.

After a few attempts at offing myself, oddly enough by putting myself in dangerous situations while working and not working, I snapped out of it. What did it for me was not God, Drugs or Woman, but rather hitting absolute rock bottom. Out of that came a realisation that the only person that could affect any change was myself.

I threw away all of the anti depressants, sleeping tables - stopped seeing the councillor and psychologist and started to face up to my fears by myself. The next best thing I did was started going to the gym not to build an Greek Anodise body, but rather to strengthen the body which simultaneously strengthens the mind and sole. I also turned to poetry and music one to express myself the other to socially a-line and normalise my life with others. A sprinkle of Yoga also helps too.

All of this provided me with clarity.

Life is about evolving. Katie, there is a point that you need to step back and let what ever happens happens. There is no way you need or should feel responsible for anything that may happen to your friend. You can only do so much chicky and need to look after yourself too. I wish you luck.

**rustic101** · 7th July 2010, 20:45

Originally Posted by Katiepie

It has been a rather rough day indeed.

Best of luck buddy, but I just can't be your main support anymore. I need that strength for myself.

Just read this and the other posts and KP you have summed up very well.

He needs to be Sectioned and assessed by the CATT. Walk away no matter how hard it is but be proud of what you did.

**Gone Burger** · 20th August 2010, 09:38

Update...

Was at home last night, having been for a beautiful long walk in the valley. Was feeling good - refreshed, happy, relaxed. I live in the country with no cell phone reception, only one bar if you are lucky to receive a message.

I checked my cell phone, and saw that I had missed a call from a VERY old friend who I haven't spoken to in years in Auckland. As soon as I saw her name, I was not feeling so good anymore. I knew something was wrong, very wrong. I could not listen to the voice message, but I knew exactly what it was going to say.

She was a mutual friend of me and Dominic, my friend that I have been talking about. Have just checked the message... she has received a very disturbing message from him, and wondered if I had heard anything? Nope - he has not been in contact with me. He did try for a while, but he was rude, and crass, and continued to be hurtful so I stopped with all contact, as I said I would.

I have just seen on facebook some very disturbing photos and messages from him. Of course, he is back in hospital, with suicide attempt number 8. And I wish I had not seen these photos. I feel sick to my stomach. They were very graphic, and he photographed each step of the way.

Is this his way of trying to get to me? I have not been there for him lately, and he is more desperate than ever - his internet posts make that very clear. I feel upset, confused, worried, angry... all the usual emotions I would expect to feel in this situation.

I have not made contact, but I feel like I should. Would just appreciate to hear if you think I should or not. I will not get too involved like I have in the past, if I do contact him. But does he need me right now? He is in a bad way again, but as I said, this is attempt number 8. But as I do not live up there, I have never actually seen the harm he has done to himself - this is the part I am not coping with. These photos have made me feel very unwell.

Oh dear - he has a lot further to go than I ever thought

**Quasi** · 20th August 2010, 09:42

hey chick - i at home if you want to ride and chat?

**Gone Burger** · 20th August 2010, 09:51

Originally Posted by Quasi

hey chick - i at home if you want to ride and chat?

Im all good hun - just feeling sick. How bout a drink on Sunday avo (or 10! lol)? xx

**SMOKEU** · 20th August 2010, 09:52

Originally Posted by Katiepie

but as I said, this is attempt number 8

Most of these 'suicide attempts' don't actually involve people trying to REALLY kill themself. It's just a sad case of a very depressed person crying out for help/attention.

If someone really wants to kill themself, then they will.

**Gone Burger** · 20th August 2010, 09:59

Originally Posted by SMOKEU

Most of these 'suicide attempts' don't actually involve people trying to REALLY kill themself. It's just a sad case of a very depressed person crying out for help/attention.

If someone really wants to kill themself, then they will.

I totally agree - which I why I feel I should still stay away from all of this. I know its his cry for help - despite what he says.. How can it not be?

**SMOKEU** · 20th August 2010, 10:03

Originally Posted by Katiepie

I totally agree - which I why I feel I should still stay away from all of this. I know its his cry for help - despite what he says.. How can it not be?

I hear about 1X jobs all the time on my scanner (suicide attempts), and 99% of the time it involves someone swallowing a whole lot of pills and then calling 111, or someone txting their mate saying they have a knife and they're going to 'end it all', or someone locking themself in the bathroom at home and telling their flatmate they're going to shoot themself.

The other 1% of the time it's too late; the person is already dead.