CRAZIES ONLY! No do-gooders here, you're banned from this post!

**DMNTD:Me** · 25th July 2010, 10:46

I'm way too innocent for this thread...

**Big Dave** · 25th July 2010, 11:25

It's 'you're'

And I'm much better on playstation than meatspace.

**Rogue Rider** · 25th July 2010, 19:56

Originally Posted by scissorhands

I once lifted up the rear end of a komodo dragon by the tail to lift its back legs off the ground, as it was moving on a fallen German tourist during a 50 plus dragon ambush at a tourist komodo feeding venue on the island of Komodo.

I jumped from the secure fenced area into the unexpected dragon ambush, checking my rear for other large males, held it up with its tail tucked under my armpit like a headlock, watching its rear feet scraping the earth for traction, less than 1 meter from the legs of the squealing german guy. This was for about 5 seconds. Finally the people bottleneck blocked narrow entrance to the inside of the fenced area cleared, and the German guy picked himself up and moved to safety. I dropped the dragon then leapt the fence in one motion, as was next to me and only around 1.4m high.

The German guy bought me beers for the next few days and 1 month later back in Bali a girl in a niteclub who was there (around 100 tourists) came up saying she wrote home and called me Komodo Dundee...( this was about 1987). I got to shag her

Oh shit, this a do gooder story isnt it? Bugger

Same holiday I ate some mushrooms and crashed my scooter with a Javanese prostitute on the back. No shag there and still had to pay her

Well, profit and payback, Dundee it is....

**Big Dave** · 25th July 2010, 20:01

*I* have a medal for Bravery......Doh!

**Rogue Rider** · 25th July 2010, 20:18

Well, goin back a bit here, to the late 80's even........ Story starts like this, earlier, when I was at School I got hiffed down some stairs by a Maori fulla who was partial to having a small nob.... perhaps I shouldn't have pointed it out in the changing shed, considering he was gynormous, and I was a small podge with attitude to burn.....
Anyway back to the stairwell. He-Man threw me down the middle to the floor below, landed on my feet and shattered an ankle..... Dick got suspended, I got 8 weeks off.
Couple years later I was on a bush swing in the Marlborough Sounds swinging out over a cliff, from a pine tree which I frequented with my mates.
Well, little did I know, but some scrotes, whom I had pissed off by destroying there flash as hut to rape the timber for our hut up in the bush, had partially cut the rope that my arse was swinging from.................. TWANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snap.
Fell 9 meters to the tide, sadly tide was out and only 3 feet of water, then mud/ sand.............. and snap, other ankle shattered needing surgery, plates and some screws....
After that, my ankles were toasted, couldn't do much excersize, had difficulty riding my trail bikes too.
A mate of mine recieved an Acc lump sum payout for his knee of $1200, so I thought, well I should at least get that, and that could buy me a cool new ride. 80's and early 90's stuff was cheap back then....
Anyway, filled in forms....... sent off...... 6 months later got some cash. Think it was around 10k from memory, it was insane I thought, but woohoo bike time. Sadly ACC had other ideas, they made it go into a trust until I was 21, so the made my old man Custodian..... yeeehaaaa.
Went into the local yamaha dealer that afternoon, saw a shiny new 1989 XJ600, ugly as shit now, but back then Oh Baby......
Asked the fella, heybro how much for cash...... he looked at me and laughed, me standing there in my uniform..... Dude, I said, how much for cash! gave me a porice, sounded ok, "ok, but I want a helmet, gloves and full tank of gas" and I want it ready tomorrow. Dude looked at me like I was nuts, cut him a cheque deposit to hold, and left.
Turned up next day with cash and the old man, spent half my acc dosh, rode home, using up the full tank of gas..... went the long way lol.
I had to fill up again, this is where it goes a bit pear. I was a lil teenage dude on a new beast, alot heavier than my GN250 superbike.

I pulled into the pump at Shell, kicked stand out, lookin and feelin awesome, and smash, over I went, pinned between the pump and the bike................. bugga!
Dudes rushed over and lifted the bike off, me a bit red faced..... Fundly no damage to anything, except my ego..
To Make up the man points, after my free soda from the shop, I pulled a wheelie off the forecourt and down the road, yep, I still had it lol, and was proud again.... Never told anyone that before, but that was my first wheelie longer than 30m on the road. I was hooked from there on.
I was in the sth island goin thru a town south of stoke in nelson. It had a long straight through the town with all the shops. I pulled a wheelie there end to end of the town, passed the cop shop. Then headed to Motueka and over the famous Takaka Hill, man that road is a buzz.

The end. If your not doin wheelies, your not havin fun!

**R6_kid:Me** · 25th July 2010, 20:30

I like to do my wanking in private thanks very much.

**Big Dave** · 25th July 2010, 20:49

Originally Posted by R6_kid

I like to do my wanking in private thanks very much.

You forget we've seen you Bucket racing?

**avgas** · 25th July 2010, 20:55

Originally Posted by DMNTD

I'm way too innocent for this thread...

Cant find the exact quote, but I remember it went something like this...

Originally Posted by DMNTD;

Busted body, busted bike.......barely can ride.........bike has busted shifter.........pole+vice grips = hand shifter.........200kph.........on way to Paeroa.......

It never left my mind.....
LEGEND!

**DMNTD:Me** · 25th July 2010, 20:59

Originally Posted by avgas

Cant find the exact quote, but I remember it went something like this...

It never left my mind.....
LEGEND!

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY..
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.

**Big Dave** · 25th July 2010, 21:07

Originally Posted by DMNTD

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY..
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.

Pink Floyd Dark Side - 'I dunno - I was really drunk at the time'?

**avgas** · 25th July 2010, 21:07

Back in the days when I was a loopy I use to boot between my home home (kati) and uni home (Auckland)......best time was actually on the RG150 at 2am........
Sucks they have taken the corners out and put the autobahn in, also sucks that 80kph patch in the gorge.

Those use to be the most exciting 2 hours of my life, and chewed up the whole tank in that time, including reserve.... I am thankful it wasn't cut short.

Fuck doing it again - Out of interest what is the fine $ for 180kph?

**Bikemad** · 25th July 2010, 21:10

Originally Posted by Virago

When I was a kid, I once drank milk straight from the bottle, and put it back in the fridge...

fuckin magic...........did that too......drove my old Mum nuts..........
the other one was using the sugar bowl spoon to stir ya tea then dump the wet spoon back in the sugar bowl..........

**avgas** · 25th July 2010, 21:10

Originally Posted by DMNTD

Heh! Flash backs to Nam man! LINKY..
Ironically I have only ever binned when riding below the speed limit ...100% truth.

Likewise, all my bins have been below speed limits......

but I do not think I would still be here if it were otherwise.
Someone is fucking watching over us man!!!!