Courage and Strength -where do you find them?

[marie_speeds]

For some, it takes courage and brute strength - just to live.

I have to agree there! But seriously what most people see as courage in others is nothing but a mask or an act that the person is putting on. Often it is to hide the hurt and pain that they are feeling inside. For some just the sheer act of getting out of bed every morning is an act of courage. There are so many times in all of our lives where we just want to curl up and hide under the sheets and just stay there, but the reality is that we have to "put on a brave face" and face the world. Everyone has it in them when it's necessary. That fight or flight instinct in all of us is very strong. Strength comes from knowing which one to act on when the situation calls for it.....

Note to self: In odd mood tonight, where did that come from?

[Paul in NZ]

Yeah - but its different or everyone. Some face a major drama that needs instant heroics and some face a lesser but soul sapping fight every day....

Point is - we all face our waterloo sooner or later....

The measure of us as people is determined, not by our victory but by the quality of the fight..

[tamarillo]

Each will have their own - but since we seem to be sharing in a helpful mode.

Another with serious chronic pain... Meditation made my difference. The trick for me is to accept and allow what is and know that suffering is what is meant and okay.

Been through two divorces too - and it ain't easy BUT it is easier sensing it is okay and suffering is ok and not be taken out of proportion (which is always in at the time).

That feeling you get in a really good ride - take that and multiply it for a good sit (meditation). It is about being here, now, dismissing deluded ego, and knowing what is real and accepting it.

And it will never be okay all the time - it ain't that easy.

A quote for you I like (especially second part):

' I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart. It makes things a mess.

We aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. '

good luck mate, tim

[ynot slow]

Another thought is when you tell friends and family you're up shit creek,the thing which gives you strength is the pain you see in their eyes,their fear that you're facing death,and the fact you as victim feel helpless for causing their angst gives impetus to win.

I still feel guilty for putting my family through who knows what pain.That and the fact I had to watch the start of rugby world cup'03(lost again ah well ),and my birthday in hospital were bummers lol.

[Big Dave]

There's always a best thing to do. You man up and get it done.

[schrodingers cat]

So my question is: if strength and courage lie in the solar plexus, can this force be increased?

Of course it can silly! Apply alcohol internally...

[DarkLord]

I just find you have to look at the options. With some things there is no way out but through. Sure, you can take the easy way out and back down from what you are facing etc, but ultimately you are only going to do yourself a disservice and that regret will catch up with you eventually.

Unfortunately with the society we currently live in, there is little room for the kind of character that encourages people to face problems and become stronger through them as everything is so shallow and provides immediate solutions for every single issue.

[scissorhands]

Thanks to all the heart felt replies and reaching hands, especially a big respect to those suffering real pain and severe hardships.

I have just been diagnosed with aspergers at age 47. I have had it all my life to a lesser degree, and now need to take stock and re-evaluate my current lifestyle.

I need to make the best with what I've got, and that will basicly mean preserving my neurological function as I begin to age. Having aspergers, I have self medicated all my life, unknowing of why I have felt so different around my family and others.

The courage and strength is for now being able to acknowledge my disability, and to move through life without any dietary and booze crutches. To live with the reality of how it is for me, rather than eating comfort foods, or taking something to forget my inability to relate to 'normal' people.

Its actually a major shocker all round really. Many people around me (in Grey Lynn) self medicate their neurological problems, with comfort food, alcohol and drugs.

I now need to live a sparseness of oral delights, or face the mediocrity and reduction in quality of life, by staying numbed down

Degenerated aristocracy being what it is, I will also be battling generational traits passed down to me by my parents and before them. The sins of the father are visited upon the son. Fuck

Sorry, but some Kb'ers will be undiagnosed asperger sufferers too. Its called the engineers disorder.

[candor]

Fearlessness comes from dumbing down - stop doing any "what iffing" about your preferred course of action (or situation). Assume no bad consequences might result, only the desired vision as your intent is right and sure. Safety valves off and away.

Engineers...???

[marie_speeds]

Thanks to all the heart felt replies and reaching hands, especially a big respect to those suffering real pain and severe hardships.

I have just been diagnosed with aspergers at age 47. I have had it all my life to a lesser degree, and now need to take stock and re-evaluate my current lifestyle.

I need to make the best with what I've got, and that will basicly mean preserving my neurological function as I begin to age. Having aspergers, I have self medicated all my life, unknowing of why I have felt so different around my family and others.

The courage and strength is for now being able to acknowledge my disability, and to move through life without any dietary and booze crutches. To live with the reality of how it is for me, rather than eating comfort foods, or taking something to forget my inability to relate to 'normal' people.

Its actually a major shocker all round really. Many people around me (in Grey Lynn) self medicate their neurological problems, with comfort food, alcohol and drugs.

I now need to live a sparseness of oral delights, or face the mediocrity and reduction in quality of life, by staying numbed down

Degenerated aristocracy being what it is, I will also be battling generational traits passed down to me by my parents and before them. The sins of the father are visited upon the son. Fuck

Sorry, but some Kb'ers will be undiagnosed asperger sufferers too. Its called the engineers disorder.

Hey that's not so bad.... For someone with aspergers which comes under the category of ASD and PDD, you're doing very good. The very fact that you are on this forum participating in "social interaction" via the threads and postings is very very good! Many with Aspergers shy away from social interactions all together. So in my opinion it is really great that you are here!

[Edbear]

Hey that's not so bad.... For someone with aspergers which comes under the category of ASD and PDD, you're doing very good. The very fact that you are on this forum participating in "social interaction" via the threads and postings is very very good! Many with Aspergers shy away from social interactions all together. So in my opinion it is really great that you are here!

Wot she sed! Knowledge here will be the best thing for you and finally having some answers must be a relief even if disappointed at being diagnosed as such.

Being able to be open about it is also to be commended and if you work with the medics in a positive way you'll gain ability to cope and counter the illness. Make mental notes of each day you learn something helpful and each positive step you take, each time you do better than the last incident caused by the illness.

Patience with yourself and the understanding of those around you will help keep you positive and progressing.

[marie_speeds]

Now that you have a diagnosis and given my current area of study/research, do you want to be my guinea pig er um I meant participate for research purposes. I promise to be gentle....






And if i type my evi laugh real small hahahaha maybe he won't notice

[Genestho]

How strange, bumped into a girlfriend today, whose son has been diagnosed with suspected aspergers, I say suspected as he's had a traumatic event that may have slowed typical child development.
I went home and googled up about it, and then found this which I printed off to give to my girlfriend. Then I read your post SH..

http://www.altogetherautism.org.nz/f...nationwide.pdf

Some of the contacts etc may be of some help on your journey? Assuming of course you don't already have loads of info already....

[John_H]

While feeding the sparrows and having my soy latte and muffin this morning I couldnt help but wonder where have all the examples of bravery, courage and strength gone.

During the ACC campaign I was filled with a sense of pride and kinship toward those willing to take up battle against the white devil slavemaster.

I now have a personal demon or dragon to slay..... and the weapon that I will need will be strength of purpose and courage. When I cast about and view others with problems, it seems to me that strength and courage is also needed, for themselves too.

The Chinese talk of accumulating chi within the tan tien, in the west we say 'having the guts' or of being 'gutless'.

What is the secret? If say someone was diagnosed with cancer for example, rather than finding information (which is another kettle of fish) how does that someone find the strength to fight off the enemy.

So my question is: if strength and courage lie in the solar plexus, can this force be increased?

Are you a vegan?

[yungatart]

Start taking Magnesium supplements. Go to a reputable health food shop and get some good ones.
I work with young people with ASD, it seems to help them hugely.
Good luck on your journey.
Aspergers is not so bad...it could have been a much worse diagnosis!