The Irish twins come home from primary school one afternoon and inform mum and dad that "teacher thinks out da' is a very bad man!"

"Why?" says dad, outraged. "Why would she think that?"

"Well" says the first twin, "this mornin' she was askin' us 'what was the first thing ya parents said this mornin'?' All the kids were sayin' soppy stuff, like 'Good Mornin' darlin'' an' 'wouldya please pass the butter?' an' stuff like that. 'twas makin' me sick. So I said 'our da' come downstairs and into the kitchen. 'e looked outa the winder and 'twas rainin' and 'e says "Bejasus - looks like another fuck of a day...' an' that's why she thinks yiz a baaaad man."


(Unashamedly ripped off from Roddy Doyle, by the way...)

I know its fiction but after teaching for over a decade in rural Norfland, I can guarantee almost certainly that such a thing has happened...