What gives with this?

[Ratti]

Sweetheart, after what I have been through since my hubbys death last year..nothing suprises me any more.

And you know what? There is still room for it to go to shite even more, and it most likely will. Just wait till someone decides s/he should have got a share of the estate. That's when it gets interesting.

In the end I just kept paying all the bills including the mortgage. I know you're not in a position to do that tho. Im stunned at the Council being arses. Go to the top of every organisation that you have to deal with, just keep asking for the supervisor of that person until someone gives in and does the decent thing.

Not that its going to help, but I found the same thing. Some crowds did the deed over the phone just on my sayso, some needed death cert in writing, some needed proof of probate, and one lot still havent changed names over and its been nearly 2 years now. Sod them...

Hang on Anne, it will end. I promise it will.

[Genie]

FFS, this is terrible. I'm shocked and dumbfounded...who the fuck runs these businesses. As if you don't already have enough to contend with. Atrocious.

Mom, this is majorily wrong and I'm sickened that this is how it is. Is there no respect for death and the pain endured by those left behind?

Anyway....sending you a big hug, hang in there. Bollix, "Hang in there", useless damn words.
You'll do what you need to do to get through this abhorrant circumstance.

You'll share hugs with the man you love and who loves you.

You'll go for a ride, feel the thrill and smile.

You'll enjoy a drink with a wonderful friend.

You'll smile in memory of your mom, this is what sustains you...

and you'll feel the support of those that love you.

[HenryDorsetCase]

FFS, this is terrible. I'm shocked and dumbfounded...who the fuck runs these businesses. As if you don't already have enough to contend with. Atrocious.

Mom, this is majorily wrong and I'm sickened that this is how it is. Is there no respect for death and the pain endured by those left behind?

Anyway....sending you a big hug, hang in there. Bollix, "Hang in there", useless damn words.
You'll do what you need to do to get through this abhorrant circumstance.

You'll share hugs with the man you love and who loves you.

You'll go for a ride, feel the thrill and smile.

You'll enjoy a drink with a wonderful friend.

You'll smile in memory of your mom, this is what sustains you...

and you'll feel the support of those that love you.

For one thing, its not personal to anyone but Mom, all these businesses have a checksheet and all of them have a process. Ask yourself a question: should it be as easy as just ringing up and saying "O Hai, this person is dead please cancel the account"? Of course it shouldnt because people would (in the immortal words of Douglas Adams) "spend a year dead for tax reasons". So, they have a process, and you have to deal with the process, and provide evidence. And, they all have a different process. And you just have to roll with it, get on, and deal with it. That is why when I am dealing with estates (which I do) I say to the family: you bring me the paperwork, I will deal with all that stuff, and you go deal with the keepsakes, the momentoes, the treasures that she wanted you all to have. Because I dont get emotionally involved, I dont take it personally when confronted with pointless bureaucracy, and I do get it done. It allows the family to get on, remember the person who died, often have a good old get together and "Oh I remember when we got that, I'll treasure it always as a keepsake".

Just by way of example, one of the most bitter disputes Ive ever dealt with was between two family members squabbling over their elderly mother's keepsakes and "treasures": No one gave a toss about the million and a half in real property, but they were majorly pissed about the "stuff".

As for disputes over wills, the less said about that the better: there is a saying though "Where there is a will, there is a relative"

Emotive ranting isn't that helpful, I find.

[Mom]

I am lucky in that regard, my Mom was a very pragmatic woman and most things had names on them The grandkids knew exactly what they were getting and the girls wore Moms rings at her funeral.

Both sides of the family have had an opportunity to go through the possessions and keep what they want as momentos and keepsakes. No arguing there.

I have not been able to deal with Moms clothes, so the packing up of the house has stalled until I am able to steel myself to do it, so it is probably a good thing that probate has been delayed. Once we have it I am certain the wolves will be out for the money and demand things move along at pace.

I guess I just wanted to give a heads up to anyone just how many hoops there are out there, and how hard it is to do what needs to be done when you are cored out in your grief.

[Swoop]

So very sorry to hear of your Mum's passing, Mom.

As others have said, it will all be sorted out... in due time.
Kind thoughts your way.

[Mom]

A phone call today, finally probate has been granted. It was signed at the High Court 29-9-10 and has taken till today to get to me. Lucky I was not in a hurry eh

For someone that is dealing with an estate that is worth very little, the hoops have been amazing and the legal firms wanting their cut of it has been staggering. If Mom had wanted a lawyer to administer her estate she would have appointed one thanks all the same. At last I can pay the poor bastard that removed the gunge from Moms steps a couple of weeks before she died.

I may update this thread as the months go by with some handy hints and tips on how to manage things. One thing I learned today though, one legal firm will act on behalf without any instruction. I actually had to stop this woman from transferring ownership to me and my step brother. That can be done as part of the sale process, and be included in that cost. It does not need to be done now thank you very much. Unfuckingbelievable. this woman also wanted to fire an email to moms bank to get her accounts closed and the funds transferred to their trust account!

[yungatart]

The wheels of bureaucracy grind ever so slowly...glad you are finally able to begin to get things sorted, Mom.

[merv]

My mother's affairs were handled by the Public Trust,and everything went perfectly...we didn't have to do a thing.My brother has lived on the other side of the world for 35 years,so he didn't need to stay any longer then necessary.A cousin was executor of the will,because Mum knew her boys wouldn't have a clue.

Mom sorry to hear about your hassles.

Our last death in the family was my dear Bro' and he had chosen Guardian Trust to handle his affairs and like Motu's experience with Public Trust it all went perfectly with them too. There seemed to be no hassles with them cancelling services etc all straight away and wrapping all the bills up. Even his phone and mobile phone were cut off it seemed before you'd even say he was cold they were that quick doing stuff. At the end of it all I didn't think their fees were that steep either.