2018 News Headlines
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
country in the world, Little India, formerly known as Australia.
Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as Australia's
third language.
Children from 2 parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being
'different'. Tolerance urged.
Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred 'lifestyle'
choice.
Kookaburra and Platypus plague threatens North Western Australia crops and
livestock.
Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa: being Christian, no
excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are
now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Australian
Government have told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.
Australia now has 10 Universities of Political Correctness. Professor
Goldman of ANU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop
people saying what they think.
Australian deficit $10 trillion dollars and rising. Government declares
return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time.
Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more
immigration secret to success.
Wall Street banks merge to form new super Bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer
Epstein Drescher (GREED): We'll show Congress who is too big to fail says
CEO. Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic countries.
... No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered
nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President
in 2022.
Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery to
Wednesdays only.
After a 10 year, $75.8 billion study, scientists prove diet and exercise are
the keys to weight loss.
Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in
Vicindia and New South India.
Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though gas is selling for
5,000 Rupees per litre and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Victims to be held partly responsible for crime.
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven
inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters,
and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2020 as lethal weapons.
Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Western Bulldogs won this year's National Footy final beating the Hindu
Hornets 20-11 to 13-18.
Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory) voters still having trouble
with voting machines.
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