Ms Biff Biffs the Biffmobiles

**Sniper** · 9th June 2005, 15:21

Originally Posted by TonyB

Yep. Don't even get me started on the joys of the real estate boom....

You should see the version where I'm getting the wife and kids off to preschool....

Go on, tell us

**Biff** · 9th June 2005, 15:32

Originally Posted by TonyB

Post number 666

Hmmm, at my house you walk out of the lounge/ dinning room/ games room/ toy dumping ground (all in one room- it's the latest thing don't you know)>> into the entrance bit>> out the front door that the dog mangled>> outside into the teeth of a howling southerly>> through a gate>> around a corner>> into the gargre, squeezing alongsid.....

Actually, what I should have said was:

You walk out of our living room come library come study come workshop come laundry room as they're, in fact, all the same room. Because I live in a box yasee.

Ooooooo what I'd do for a dog chewed door and a gate. Bloody luxuries.

When I were a lad I was given a lump of coal every Christmas, and it had to last me a whole year. Some bright spark once asked me whether I burnt it. Bloody snob. As if I could have afforded a match to light it with. I mean what the hell would I have eaten, slept on, and fornicated with if I had burnt it.

**Motu** · 9th June 2005, 15:46

There are 7 cars,a caravan and a trailer for the 9 people who live at the Motuhause at this point in time - where and how to park is an important skill in the Whanau,it's a family conference to arrange final parking for the night.

**Ixion** · 9th June 2005, 15:49

Originally Posted by Motu

There are 7 cars,a caravan and a trailer for the 9 people who live at the Motuhause at this point in time - where and how to park is an important skill in the Whanau,it's a family conference to arrange final parking for the night.

3 cars, 3 bikes and a trailer for two people. But I'm a Communist you see , so it's OK

**vifferman** · 9th June 2005, 15:55

A two car gargre, with three cars and a bike to house, and no driveway.
The record so far is two cars and three bikes in the gargre: not too hard to do with some shuffling about, given that all three cars are 'not huge' hatchbacks.

**MSTRS:Me** · 9th June 2005, 16:34

Originally Posted by Biff

Ms Biff leaves for work yesterday am. The routine being she leaves before I do, I feed and water the Bifflings, then I pack them off to the coal mine.

Ms Biff is running late so in a blind panic she's running around the house like an Albatross on LSD, darts out of the house into our gargre, jumps in the primary Biffmobile, opens the garage door, starts up the motor, then accelerates, hard. Not thinking of checking her mirrors she reverses straight into Biffmotor MkII.

Plenty of damage including broken light clusters, dented wings and buckled bumpers.

Her excuse, "But you were parked out on the road yesterday"

Oh how I laughed - until I realised you were serious - and then I wet myself.

**Biff** · 9th June 2005, 16:37

Originally Posted by MSTRS

Oh how I laughed - until I realised you were serious - and then I wet myself.

Thanks for your concern.
Bitch.

**MSTRS:Me** · 9th June 2005, 16:45

Originally Posted by Biff

Thanks for your concern.
Bitch.

Note to self 'Biff not into watersports"

**crashe** · 9th June 2005, 17:06

awww poor Biff.... it just aint your day is it....hehehe

Well fancy parking the car behind hers in the first place....lol.

(Total PT)

I am sure that she feels really bad about hitting your car.
Make her a cuppa and a nice dinner.

**Biff** · 9th June 2005, 17:24

Originally Posted by crashe

I am sure that she feels really bad about hitting your car.
Make her a cuppa and a nice dinner.

Now that is PT - right.
She dings both cars, costing me $$$$$, blames me for parking my motor where I park it 99% of the time, and I have to suck up to her?!

Hmmmph. I expect and evening of Hulio Englaisius, back massages and her to wear her Wonder Woman outfit while whipping me with a moist lettuce. Don't knock it till you've tried it.

**MSTRS:Me** · 9th June 2005, 17:41

Thought your story brilliantly funny as something similar happened to my b-in-law with a truck outside a dairy. He'd just picked up new car from dealer, stopped at dairy on way home. Truckie came out of dairy, backed into b-in-laws car, "Oops sorry mate you weren't there when I went in".
Every panel in front of the windscreen totalled.
Ever notice how someone else's misfortune is screamingly funny.

**RiderInBlack** · 9th June 2005, 17:51

Bloody shoe box,

Bloody luxury that is.

Well had me worried there for a bit Biff. Thought she'd run the Blackbird over

Glad it was just a "cage"

She would have had to wear black suspenders and kinky leather for a month, no "I've got a headache" when you go to bed ether!

Off topic:
Why is it, that when it is a well know medicial fact that sex is a good way of releaving headaches, that women still try to use that as an excuse!

**Sniper** · 10th June 2005, 09:30

Originally Posted by RiderInBlack

Bloody shoe box,

Bloody luxury that is.

Well had me worried there for a bit Biff. Thought she'd run the Blackbird over

Glad it was just a "cage"

She would have had to wear black suspenders and kinky leather for a month, no "I've got a headache" when you go to bed ether!

Off topic:
Why is it, that when it is a well know medicial fact that sex is a good way of releaving headaches, that women still try to use that as an excuse!

Cause they do

**scumdog** · 10th June 2005, 10:31

Pedant alert
Me'n'CB always back into the drive/garagre, primarily because:
(a) the rear window generally ain't fogged/frosted after a trip,
(b) it's easier to spot the InertAndDangeroustoTyreAndBodywork object that may be in front of your favourite parking spot,
(c) it saves backing out with a cold CoughingAndRevving cold engine (even our newest car, '84 Laseratti has a manual choke) and then having to change direction of travel with said vehicle,
(d) you are rarely in a rush to get home but you (well some people) are ALWAYS in a rush to get to work/shops/meeting so a drive off forwards makes things easier and finally
(e) less likely to be cleaned up by a vehicle that "I didn't see coming, it just appeared out of nowhere".