Imaginative punishments for students who can't leave your bike alone

**PrincessBandit** · 26th October 2010, 17:02

C'mon folks, let's hear 'em.

This afternoon my son (who works in IT at the school I teach at) informed me that while I was at staff PD he chased off a group of junior students - four boys - who were taking turns at climbing onto my bike and bouncing up and down on it. Thankfully the steering lock was on so they wouldn't have been able to move it far...

When I got back to the music department, getting changed to come home, I see out the office door....a primary school kid (boy) who approached my bike, looked furtively around, then proceeded to clamber onto it. hahaha, I opened the office door and yelled "get off my bike". To his credit he did, but as I continued to watch him meander down toward the admin end of the carpark the little shit turned around and yells back at me "wotchu still look at me for eh??"

Grrrr. I would so love to hot wire the bike to electrocute anyone who manages to swing a leg over the seat, uninvited. A few volts of electricity through the ball sack might put them off helping themselves to someone elses machine.

**Laava** · 26th October 2010, 17:07

You would have to remember to turn it off! Otherwise it might be your ball sack on the line!

**Mental Trousers** · 26th October 2010, 17:12

Put a water proof cover over the seat and coat it with something like KY gel. Nothing stops school kids like looking as if they've pissed their pants!!

**slofox** · 26th October 2010, 17:13

Hide a pressure switch in the seat. Hook it up to a bigarse siren or horn (Stebels would work). Then when someone sits on it...mmmm. Maybe not such a crash hot idea - the seat may end up stained...

**imdying** · 26th October 2010, 17:14

Make it the headmasters problem. Personally I would insist they apply the same punishment that a student would get for breaking into his car (i.e. the police get involved). I assume the school has contact with the local community constable?

**Pussy** · 26th October 2010, 17:16

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

Grrrr. I would so love to hot wire the bike to electrocute anyone who manages to swing a leg over the seat, uninvited. A few volts of electricity through the ball sack might put them off helping themselves to someone elses machine.

At this juncture.... I am VERY pleased I had permission to ride your bike when I did!

Kick the little bastards in the knackers, Dawn!

**SMOKEU** · 26th October 2010, 17:22

Back in South Africa, people used to steal our porch light. We kept on buying a new light, and it would keep on getting stolen. My dad finally had enough of the thefts, so he got one of his mates who happened to be a sparky to rig it so if you touched it you would get a big electric shock. Some dude did try to steal the light, and he got a fairly big shock and left the property with a damaged ego and no light. The light never got stolen again.

**PrincessBandit** · 26th October 2010, 17:25

Originally Posted by Laava

You would have to remember to turn it off! Otherwise it might be your ball sack on the line!

Don't have one of them, personally. Probably just sounds like i do.

**PrincessBandit** · 26th October 2010, 17:30

Originally Posted by Mental Trousers

Put a water proof cover over the seat and coat it with something like KY gel. Nothing stops school kids like looking as if they've pissed their pants!!

Now there's an idea which I could work on....

Originally Posted by slofox

Hide a pressure switch in the seat. Hook it up to a bigarse siren or horn (Stebels would work). Then when someone sits on it...mmmm. Maybe not such a crash hot idea - the seat may end up stained...

Hahaha, would love to do that, hopefully the resulting evacuation would stay in their underpants....

Originally Posted by Pussy

At this juncture.... I am VERY pleased I had permission to ride your bike when I did!

Kick the little bastards in the knackers, Dawn!

No worries John, you always have permission to ride my bike!

**Pussy** · 26th October 2010, 17:44

Originally Posted by PrincessBandit

No worries John, you always have permission to ride my bike!

Just to play it safe.... I'll get that in writing, with a couple of signature witnesses, before I ride the Bandit again!

**Genie** · 26th October 2010, 17:49

Hell some people are cheeky. I'd never have thought that someone would have the gall to just go and sit on a bike...that's someone else's property and in my book if it's not your's and it's none of your business you dont' touch. Something I've also instilled in my children. Hell, I'd be super pissed if some young fella went and sat on my bike in the school carpark. Buggar, no more corporal punishement. What do you do to stop this happening again...alarm it?

**SMOKEU** · 26th October 2010, 17:56

Originally Posted by Genie

What do you do to stop this happening again...alarm it?

Then they will get their kicks in setting off the alarm.

I'm not comfortable leaving any of my vehicles anywhere other than a locked garage unless I'm there to keep an eye on them.

**davereid** · 26th October 2010, 18:05

When I had my first sporty I came out of a shop to see a child, icecream in hand, rubbing his dirty mits all over my lovely chrome.

I politely suggested to his mother that she should stop him doing it, and she told me not very politely that he was just exploring and I could fuck off.

About that time he explored the red-hot header pipe.

He dropped his icecream, and somehow that was my fault too.

Without ever wishing misery on a child, I sincerely believe in Karma.

**Genie** · 26th October 2010, 18:07

Well, I'm glad I work at a primary school and not a college. I'm a bit like you and like to keep an eye on mine as well. couple of times I've gone shopping and left it parked in town....not relaxing shopping.

I do like the electric shock up the butt idea and the gooey seat