New words with old meanings

[wkid_one]

TESTICULATING
Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, cr*ps on everything, and
then leaves.

ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement y
sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. >

SALMON DAY. >The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also
applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO.
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato

SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into
when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY.
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless
paperwork and processes.

404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')




New Oxford Dictionary definitions

GOING FOR A McSHIT
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're
just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your
declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a
McShit with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
at 3am in the morning.

BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you
got here, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please"

GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show
their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.

MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho!
Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people
so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in
your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

PEARL HARBOUR
Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour"
out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got four buttocks.

SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.

TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.

[onearmedbandit]

Brilliant, plenty of new ones there. Thanks for the laugh!

[wkid_one]

Brilliant, plenty of new ones there. Thanks for the laugh!

That's alright - most of these conversations tend to make one cry from the ignorance displayed

[Aaron]

...shall try and use a different one each day

[riffer]

Great. SITCOM. Just what I always wanted - a label.

[Sniper]

Very nicely said Wicked, thanks

[Skyryder]

Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's (2005) winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


Picked this one off another site.

This is mine

Idollatry (n.): Asian compulsive gambler who unable to give up his addiction now worships pokie machines.

Skyryder

[StoneChucker]

Haha, Osteopornosis
I can admit to a few of those, like the Dopeler effect. I also suffer from Arachnolepsy.
Some good ones there, thanks!

[placidfemme]

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

LMAO I've done that one

[pete376403]

Not as clever as those in the original post but still mildly amusing

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow `remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

More here http://www.unwords.com/alpha/s0-L.html

[Fishy]

TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking B******s.

BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline Was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps On
everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be
cake.)

SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay
home with the kids or start a "home business".

SINBAD. single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed
to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" -
needless paperwork and processes.

404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit reply all')

GOING FOR A McSH*T. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of
buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff
member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is
known as a McSh*t with Lies.

AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black
box'.

AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze
cruise at 3am.

BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC. Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please"

GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the
badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to
show their level of training.

MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive
when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in there worth
seeing.

MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you
go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're
in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a
10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager)

PEARLHARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit
"Pearl Harbour" out there (there's a nasty nip in the air)

PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks
like she's got four buttocks

SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person

SWAMP-DONKEY. A deeply unattractive woman

TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

CLITERATURE. 'Rhythm' Magazine

WANKIOUS. A male who is desperate to satisfy himself, often after purchase
of a new CLITERATURE

[Colapop]

I actually laughed out loud at work and then watched the prairie come alive. You gotta be blinged green for that!!

[hXc]

Bloody awesome! Legend!

[Big Chim]

I thought a prairee dog is when you walk past cubicals side by side and fart the the whole length of them and watch everyone stand up seeing who it was

[Back Fire]

I thought a prairee dog is when you walk past cubicals side by side and fart the the whole length of them and watch everyone stand up seeing who it was

I always thought prairee dogging was when you really need to shit and.... yea....