Originally written in 1975.
Forum whore
Originally written in 1975.
If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?
Blowin up bikes since ages ago
Yeah that'd be right! Still I couldnt help laughing when I was emailed it this morning some of them are great!Originally Posted by Jim2
"Some people are like clouds, once they fuck off, it's a great day!"
Forum whore
You forgot one
DOVERED - fucked beyond all repair.
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
????
So this means the WWW is a lot older than first thought!!!
Maybe we should send some bits off for carbon dating perhaps????
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Forum whore
Yes it is. Hypertext development dates from the late '60s. Just because the technology has only been available via a universally accessible WWW interface since the mid-90s doesn't mean that the building blocks and functional basis hasn't been around longer. Web technology is based on SGML of which HTML is a subset.So this means the WWW is a lot older than first thought!!!
Maybe we should send some bits off for carbon dating perhaps????
The Internet has been around since 1967. Web technology is overlaid on a much older concept and framework.
404 is merely an error message that is part of the TCP protocol which has been in use (and much revised) since 1969. Much like the original post is part of the apochrypha of society that make up urban legends and universal jokes.
If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?
Hardcore Biker
Most email jokes come around again.
Still, some of these still make me laugh.
FINE. This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
The Loose Goose
I've had a search but can't find this anywhere. No doubt someone will let me know if in fact it is a repost!
The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent
Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.) an olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
Circumvent (n.) the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbeetarianism (n.) The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Pokemon (n) A Jamaican proctologist.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit)
Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.
And, the pick of the year:
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole - my favourite!
Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!
Forum whore
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an arsehole - my favourite!
In and out of jobs, running free
Waging war with society
The Loose Goose
It probably goes well with what I heard a nursing friend tell this guy once - "you need an optorectomy". He looked at her blankly and said "a what?" She repeated "an optorectomy - it's when they sever the connection running between your optic nerve and your arsehole - it improves your shitty outlook on life" - perfect!
Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!
Need new round thangs!
a quick search for "Washington Post published" reveals all
1990 Suzuki Bandit GSF 250 for sale 39k kms $3,500
The Loose Goose
I tried doing a Google search using the same line as that usually finds all the KB posts with the wording you are searching for in it - it's easier to find KB amongst the results than find the relevant post using the search function here as that comes up with oodles! Sorry for the repost - at least I added a new joke... and my list has two years' results in it - they start after circumvent.
I went and did the search and found our esteemed Mr Hitcher had posted the same thing twice in two threads... so I'm in good company!
Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!
'tart tourmenter
New Words for 2007
* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
* SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive person.
* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.
* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and Then leaves.
* ASSMOSIS.
The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.
* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)
* SITCOMs.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.
* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
* ADMINISPHERE.
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.
* GOING FOR A McSHIT.
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies.
* 404.
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located.
* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just Made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from The outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
* MONKEY BATH.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter in your bed instead.
* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise At 3:00am.
* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.
* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's Got 4 buttocks.
Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow aren’t just the 4 cycles of an engine
McNoob
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you have been smoking marijuana.
that;s not quite right .. it is actually:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they are delivered very fast
Deus ex ukulele
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
Hardcore Biker
Actually, its easier to just post it and let some faghat do a search and tell you its a repost.
FINE. This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
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