'Issues' with boyfriend and bikes

**steelphoenix** · 22nd November 2010, 10:00

I'm a learner, which is awesome. I pootle around every weekend on boyfriend's bike (Yamaha Scorpio, cute zippy little thing), I'm not too bad (hill starts still need work), and I'm planning on getting a bike once I get my Restricted - gives me time to save up a decent amount for a deposit. I'm 25, so it won't be that long.

The problem is that all of a sudden, boyfriend doesn't want me to get a bike/licence.

He's the one who initially taught me the basics, too, so it's not as if he doesn't know that I'm okay on a bike.

Also, I'm the acknowledged Safety Queen, ATGATT and all that - and he far too often heads off, jacket flapping in the breeze and helmet unfastened (and no other gear).

Is there any way to deal with this/make it less of a contentious issue, because I really do want a bike (running costs, parking, FUN)! I love him to bits, but I'm confused by the suddenness of this, and the sheer nonsensical crazy of it (double standards much?).

Any advice, Angels?

**Taz** · 22nd November 2010, 10:12

Just tell him this is how it's going to be. No one should dictate how another lives their life IMO.

**Scuba_Steve** · 22nd November 2010, 10:15

Death to the infidel!!!

failing that I'm sure there's plenty of guys on here willing to take in a chick who's into bikes

**ellipsis** · 22nd November 2010, 10:16

Originally Posted by Taz

Just tell him this is how it's going to be. No one should dictate how another lives their life IMO.

+1 ..exactly my sentiments...have you checked out what HIS problem is...

**Mental Trousers** · 22nd November 2010, 10:17

A case of careful what you wish for. He wants you to get into bikes, but on his terms, not yours. If you get your own bike he doesn't get to control how, when, where and what you do with bikes.

You might end up having to choose between bikes and boyfriend. In which case my advice is go with bikes. There's plenty of guys out there.

**Spazman727** · 22nd November 2010, 10:18

I can see how he feels, I don't really wan't my girlfriend to get a bike. But I don't want to stop her doing what she wants and it's fully hypocritical for me to stop her (not that I could of course). If it was me, I'd tell him that it's your decision and he can't stop you and just do what you want. I know when my girlfriend gets a bike I'm gonna love going on rides with her.

**hayd3n** · 22nd November 2010, 10:21

thats fine as long as he stops riding as well.

you could always stop him from riding something else

just buy a bike and tough shit he'll hopefully get over it

**Mom** · 22nd November 2010, 10:23

I would suggest that you just ignore him. He may be just realising that you are REALLY getting into this biking thing and is worrying that you will maybe hurt yourself at some stage. Some guys are real softies like that, failing that he is being a dick.

Dont make it an issue, just quietly go about doing it for yourself (get your own wheels soonest to avoid any issues there) and dont worry about what he is thinking. As far as him not wearing ATGATT, that is his call, a stupid one in my opinion but his choice. He sounds to me as if he is the big I AM, do what I let you do and I will do what I like.

**DMNTD:Me** · 22nd November 2010, 10:25

Why don't you just tell him to fuck off?

**Spazman727** · 22nd November 2010, 10:27

Originally Posted by Dumpty

Why don't you just tell him to fuck off?

Yeah, If he really cares about you, he will let you do what you want, and if not, you're better off without him. Jeez, I sound so sensitive and shit, gah.

**White trash** · 22nd November 2010, 10:29

He's having a bad case of "buyers remorse" so to speak, as old Mental Trousers has already alluded to.

When he first showed you about bikes, and how to ride them he was thinking "Yup, I'm the experianced one, more respect, be cool for both of us" etc etc. All of a sudden, he's relaised that "Shit. She actually enjoys this and I'm never going to get any time on my own. This is supposed to be MY hobby"

**rickstv** · 22nd November 2010, 10:31

Just tell him that your bike will be forever,,,,,,, He may not be.

Rick.

**nodrog:Me** · 22nd November 2010, 10:31

Trade him in for a good woman, we like bikes

Fanny.

**steelphoenix** · 22nd November 2010, 10:52

Thanks everyone for your replies - man, a lot in a short time!

@Taz, CAMSec, Dumpty, Spazman - Yeah. I'm gonna keep on with it, I want my bike!

@Scuba_Steve, rickstv - LOL, trudat! :P

@Mental Trousers, white trash - Yeah, I think he has a case of 'careful what you wish for'. Because he was quite keen initially - perhaps only now realised the ramifications? And yeah, bikes FTW, other fish in the sea.

@Mom - I think he is worried I'll hurt myself, he's a big softie sometimes. Carrying on as I am seems order of the day.

@auntfanny - *snerk* Tried that, and she left me... but that was before I tried bikes. Maybe it would help, LOL!