Calling all Hedgehog experts - Weirdest fucken thing

[SMOKEU]

Hedgehogs used to kill your chickens. Right-o. Can I please have your dealer's phone number? I want some of that shit he's selling you. Vicious fucking hedgehogs...like 2 feet tall, mon.

What kind of merchandise are you after, sir?

Hedgehogs are vicious predators. Looks can be deceiving.

[Hans]

What kind of merchandise are you after, sir?

Hedgehogs are vicious predators. Looks can be deceiving.

Fear and loathing in Christchurch.

[SMOKEU]

Fear and loathing in Christchurch.

Some of us have to find out the hard way.

[marty]

Shouldn't that be in the Jokes and Humour Dept?

no - that's where funny stuff goes

[EJK]

That reminds me of a story...

When I was living near Ilam, Christchurch (9 years ago) a duck would quite often come to my house and I used to feed bread to her (she loved it very much). I call this duck The Mama duck (she was very unique with light brown, almost ivory feathers even she was a mallard).

A few months later she brought a husband, so I fed him too.
A few more months later the whole family (8 ducklings) came too, but this time no husband. The husband duck was probably cheating on The Mama duck.
Anyhow, Mama duck and eight ducklings quite often came to my place to have breakfast lunch and dinner, I shit you not. I then realised bread alone wasn't enough. I took out an empty plastic container (2lt Tip Top ice cream), filled with fresh tap water and left it by their dining ground. As I did that, the ducklings as if they were thirsty, jumped into the container and started drinking. After the meal they would wash too. They were so cute!

At one time I tried to pull a prank on the ducklings by going around the back while they are eating and suprise them from behind. When I did that, suddenly The Mama duck realised the danger her ducklings were in (I meant no harm but) and suddenly she started to CHARGE AT ME like hell. It was damn freightening. Then I realised "Aah, even a parent duck would kamikaze their life in order to protect their loved ones". Ever after that, I never pulled any pranks on them. Ever.

A season later, when the ducklings grew up (I saw their maturity, from baby chick going to youth then to full grown adults. I documented them for my school project) they brough whole friends and family (duckling's ducklings). I counted 20. And now the mama duck came also, with different husband this time, so I fed the whole family. Suddenly a few ducks had a quarrel and started to fight, most likely due to shortage of bread. A day later, only a few came (just like high school kids, they have personality).

Now The Mama duck, she had a new family. So I fed and watched her ducklings grow (same as above), and a few weeks later the new husband duck was no where to be seen.

After all that I moved to Auckland (in 2005). Was so sad to leave them behind. I hope the new house owner still fed them while I was gone.

I havn't seen them ever since and I hope to see The Mama duck again sometime... Hopefully she is well. I miss them so much!

[PrincessBandit]

Agreed,was always pulling quills out of our old Border Collies mouth,silly prick () never learnt.

Our lab cross used to hunt them and bring them to us. Really large ones too. Then he's lie there for hours later raking at his gums and mouth. Despite us trying to teach him to leave them alone, he never learnt either.

He did look very cute with a mouth full of curled up hedgehog though. Don't think the hogs were ever thrilled about it, but we'd get the gardening gloves out and put them down the back of the section. Max would still go looking for them anyway. Reminded me everytime of that dog from "Over the hedge": "play? play? play play play play!!!"

[Patrick]

I was waiting for a taxi one very late night. It was a dead still night. The taxi came up the road just as a hedgehog was crossing it. The taxi was doing around 5kph looking for the place. Sure enough, the taxi rolled over the hedgehog. It actually popped extremely loudly. Not the tyre.

The end.

Cane Toads In Brisbane do too ... sometimes... not always....

[Crasherfromwayback]

Cane Toads In Brisbane do too ... sometimes... not always....

They do if you connect with them with a driver or three wood too.

[george formby]

We had a hedgepig which would get comatose on Speights & munch on barbecued Tua tua's. Most entertaining thing i have ever seen, everybody gathered round the table out side & H P sat in the middle with a saucer of beer & a big mound of shellfish. Noisy eater too.

[Usarka]

Cane Toads In Brisbane do too ... sometimes... not always....

They are easier to lick when they are flat.

[Fatt Max]

Could'nt eat a whole one personally....

Bit like a dutch woman

[george formby]

Could'nt eat a whole one personally....

Bit like a dutch woman

Ooh, that reminds me, I have a recipe.

[martybabe]

Clever and courteous Bastards, Had a Chinese take away once upon a camping holiday and left the remains under the fly sheet whilst we retired under the influence.

Woke up in the night to a horrible crunching sound and about 45 minutes later when I had negotiated my way out of the arseholin sleeping bag, I discovered that a Hedgehog had dragged our plate of spare rib bones out under the fly sheet and was munching away at them a few feet away from the tent.

I left the bugger to it, I was drunk he was happy all was well with the world. The following morning, nursing a hang over and full bladder, I discovered that the Hedgehog had returned the now empty plate back under the fly sheet from whence it came. A gentleman and a scholar of the critter world, with some mighty powerful little jaws n teeth. Respect Mr Hedge

As for your Hog ?? Do what you want but if it's not a nice outcome,try to at least be humane, they got something going on in the brain department.

[sunhuntin]

google tiggywinkles hospital. they are based in the uk and dedicate their lives to vet care of hedgehogs and other uk wild life that other vets might not help with [foxes, deer, badgers etc]

their website should have some good food suggestions, as well as possible habitats if you decide to keep him.

[scissorhands]

I'm spooked, this is crazy.

I shit you not, we had to put down my dog Sprocket a week ago but this hedgehog looked at me and shied away in EXACTLY the same as Sprocket used to when she snuck inside. My heart stood still, I shit you not.

Sprocket has been reincarnated as a hedgehog. Throw a stick, if he fetches it, ring the Catholics and announce a miracle oh sweet Mother Mary