Child abuse at its worst in good ole NZ

[tri boy]

I struggle to imagine the agony that child has been through.
I can only hope that she can rebuild her trust in adults, and enjoy the rest of her life in the safety and love of decent guardians.

The thugs that have destroyed her confidence and understanding may be delivered to my home, where a blow torch and vice grips are waiting for them.

[hellokitty]

How can this child ever get over this? Seriously. Surely this will be with her forever.

[James Deuce]

What are "things coming to"?

It's ALWAYS been like this. It's just now you get to hear about it.

[Mom]

What are "things coming to"?

It's ALWAYS been like this. It's just now you get to hear about it.

I used to foster children. I was able to cope with large numbers of kids so I was always asked to take in families so the kids were not separated at a time of huge stress from them. I have 3 children myself.

I was at home one day and heard a news report that 3 children were in Starship with carbon monoxide poisoning after their mother had attempted to gas them in her car. I just knew I was going to get a call to take them, and I did. So I got 3 kids (10, 8 & 6) directly from Starship, I had them for 16 months, they were eventually returned to their mother This was the first time the family had come to the attention of CYPS.

I got a call one afternoon from my social worker asking if I would take 3 girls (8, 6 & 5) who had been neglected so badly they were eating dog food, and living amongst rubbish and shit (literally)of all sorts, both human and animal. They were bed wetters, one had some infected dog bites. They were coming to me with nothing but the clothes they stood in and I was warned that they were filthy dirty.

I went out and bought knickers, toothbrushes, hair brushes and rounded up some fresh clothes for these girls. I made an appointment for them at the doctors for the next morning, and sat back and waited for them. I have never in my life ever seen anything like these poor little kids, honestly they were in such a state. They all had 2 baths, one to soak some of the grub off them, the other to attempt to get them clean.

To cut a long story short, these kids could not recognize common food, I was asked "what's that?" by one of them. It was a potato They had no idea how to use toilet paper, if they even managed to get to a toilet. The youngest had the physical development of an 18month old toddler on a 5 year olds body, she was not toilet trained, she could not speak properly, as in had no words because no one talked to her. I could go on, but I guess you may be getting the picture.

They were a white skinned family - white trash springs to mind, and they had a file a foot thick with CYPS. I was horrified and shocked that a mother could treat her kids so badly, they used to go through rubbish bins on the street, if I stopped to talk to anyone, looking for food. They would break open packets of food in the super market and scoff it down, they would steal money from school and bring it home for me and be genuinely shocked when I growled them. One day I got a call from the school wanting to know which one of the 2 oldest girls had a banana in her lunch as there had been a full scale brawl in the playground at lunchtime, my answer, neither of them.

This family had been reported to the authorities over and over, interventions were put in place, nothing worked. The mother was 23 years old, these kids had a couple of different fathers, i believe one of the fathers was an uncle. The grandmother had just had her 8 year old twins taken off her. Generational abuse defined. This family had never been heard about, and they were one of many that corssed my threshold. It is not new, and once you have been exposed to it, it is not shocking anymore, I could not tell you what I have seen.

[oldrider]

See! The anti smacking bill "really is working"! (only one of these cases this week)

I was so sickened by that I could barely continue to read it to the end!

Where the fuck are we heading to in this country?

[rwh]

I used to foster children.

...

It is not new, and once you have been exposed to it, it is not shocking anymore, I could not tell you what I have seen.

And yet, in a few years, once kids like these are old enough (physiologically) to have kids and start the next sorry generation, sympathy from many kiwibikers (and others, of course) will instantly cease, and their executions will be called for.

Even the mother that started this thread, horrific though her actions have been, deserves sympathy - she just has no clue about acceptable behaviour, and needs rehabilitation, not ridiculously harsh punishment. That would just reinforce in her mind that punishment is how you solve problems.

Richard

[yungatart]

Words fail me!
How very very sad....

[James Deuce]

Where the fuck are we heading to in this country?

Heading? We've been there since they started calling this place a "Colony".

[Mom]

Even the mother that started this thread, horrific though her actions have been, deserves sympathy - she just has no clue about acceptable behaviour, and needs rehabilitation, not ridiculously harsh punishment. That would just reinforce in her mind that punishment is how you solve problems.
Richard

Sad, but true. I was appalled when I met the mother and grandmother of these 3 girls, they needed to be taken into care themselves, so incredibly sad. The girls were all re-homed never to be returned to their family, but at 23 this woman was at the start of her child bearing years...

You know, they tested her, with simple daily tasks. She could not demonstrate how to make a healthy lunch, peanut butter sandwiches were beyond her, and could not show the tester how to cross the road safely. Her children had no hope with her. Sadly we were not permitted to know anything about the kids once they left our care, but I got a couple of follow up calls from their social worker letting me know how they were getting along.

[EJK]

Really disgusting.

[Owl]

That would just reinforce in her mind that punishment is how you solve problems.

Not if that mind contains a bullet!

[rwh]

Not if that mind contains a bullet!

That is true, of course.

I really, really don't like the idea of execution, but can see that there could be cases where somebody simply needs to be removed from society. However, whether that's done by life imprisonment or execution, it should be done in a sympathetic manner - pointing out to the person that there's no alternative - rather than as an act of revenge. And it should be an absolutely last resort.

I'm reminded of the silly movie "The Gods must be Crazy" in which the main character apologises profusely to the animal he's about to kill for food. That's the kind of attitude I like.

Richard

[rwh]

Sadly we were not permitted to know anything about the kids once they left our care

I was wondering if that was the case. It seems to me that means removing the only family they've ever had, which doesn't seem right. Who are they supposed to call on for support?

I suppose it's not the same thing as an adoption, though.

I guess there are also foster parents who aren't good at it either, and are better kept away from, but that's the same issue as with the natural parents; it shouldn't be done by default.

What's your view on that policy Mom?

Is there also a limit to the length of time they can stay with you?

Richard

[FROSTY:Me]

Darn it thats just .Just --actually I'm lost for words.
To me its not about punishment now. Its about doing the best thats possible for that poor lil girl.

[JimO]

Even the mother that started this thread, horrific though her actions have been, deserves sympathy - she just has no clue about acceptable behaviour, and needs rehabilitation, not ridiculously harsh punishment. That would just reinforce in her mind that punishment is how you solve problems.

Richard

sterilisation would be a good start