Things ya shouldn't tell ya girl/chick/wife/shag etc...

[nudemetalz]

From a,.. errr...Cosmopolitan.com website..

10. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
Um, if we knew, we wouldn’t have asked. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can take the lead and plan a date. (Extra points for taking control after the date, too.)

9. “Shhh the game’s on.”
We get it, sports are important. But shushing us even when it’s a time-out is simply unacceptable. Just give us two seconds, and we’ll let you get back to the big game.

8. “Chill Out” or “Relax”
Nothing is more unnerving than being told to calm down. If you had estrogen, you’d get it. And you would also get periods, too — enough said.

7. “Smell this.”
We don’t want to be treated like one of your guy friends, so asking us to smell the leftover Chinese that’s been in your fridge for 6 months or gross old sneakers is just wrong.

6. “My ex did it this way.”
If you ever say this to us, we have every right to use our teeth — and then send you right back to said ex.

5. “Putting on some pounds, huh?”
The way we feel when someone says this to us is the way you feel when we ask, “Is it in?”

4. “Someone needs to groom down there.”
When you start offering up your junk to a woman named Helga with a vat of hot wax, you can complain about an errant hair or two on our body.

3. “I’m not in the mood.”
Really? We’ll remind him of that next time you wake us up (from a dream starring Christian Bale) with morning wood.

2. “Your sister is hot.”
If you are dumb enough to go there, you’re going to have to put up with listening to our fantasy that involves your brother, your best friend and maybe even your boss.

1. “Are you on your period?”
It doesn’t matter if the answer is yes, no, or almost. Unless you want to buy our tampons from now until we hit menopause, you should avoid asking.


I am absolutely certain I have used all of those before......

[tigertim20]

I wish theyd just stick to making fucking sandwiches

[Brian d marge]

Who cares
100 bucks and you get another one

Stephen

[Mully]

Why, Nudey, are you reading girly magazine websites?

[allycatz]

"Shit, you used to be hot when you were younger"......

[nudemetalz]

Why, Nudey, are you reading girly magazine websites?

I thought I might see some hot chicks...instead I got a lot of anti-male stuff instead - FAIL !!

[avgas]

Um, if we knew, we wouldn’t have asked. Plus, there’s nothing sexier than a man who can take the lead and plan a date. (Extra points for taking control after the date, too.)
- Actually there is, its his wallet. Because new shoes beats intellectual conversation hands down.

We get it, sports are important. But shushing us even when it’s a time-out is simply unacceptable. Just give us two seconds, and we’ll let you get back to the big game.
- Your right, I tell you what, you can have 30 seconds to talk to us right now. All you have to do for me is stick to that limit.

Nothing is more unnerving than being told to calm down. If you had estrogen, you’d get it. And you would also get periods, too — enough said.
- So can you not hear your own mouth when you ask us to? Or are women not allowed in the hypocrite venn diagram?

We don’t want to be treated like one of your guy friends, so asking us to smell the leftover Chinese that’s been in your fridge for 6 months or gross old sneakers is just wrong.
- Vice versa in Farmers. The only Coco we know goes into drink.....and we make it for the taste not the smell. Revlon is sounds like headgasket glue. Why would we want to snort head gasket glue????

If you ever say this to us, we have every right to use our teeth — and then send you right back to said ex.
- What makes you think she doesn't want me?

The way we feel when someone says this to us is the way you feel when we ask, “Is it in?”
- And we aim to improve in sex, if you get sexier

When you start offering up your junk to a woman named Helga with a vat of hot wax, you can complain about an errant hair or two on our body.
- Ummm we can do it ourselves so that it does hurt when we kiss you, how about you try it?

Really? We’ll remind him of that next time you wake us up (from a dream starring Christian Bale) with morning wood.
- If a dream about Christian Bale doesn't get you going in the morning, we are doomed - because I can't control my dreams about Katy Perry.

If you are dumb enough to go there, you’re going to have to put up with listening to our fantasy that involves your brother, your best friend and maybe even your boss.
- As long as your sister and best friends are in there we can have an agreement.

It doesn’t matter if the answer is yes, no, or almost. Unless you want to buy our tampons from now until we hit menopause, you should avoid asking.
- But you ask us if we are ok, when we will always answer yes. We have skipped this step and want to find out what the problem actually is.