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Thread: Church bells

  1. #1
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    4th July 2005 - 15:58
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    Church bells

    Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old
    grandmother and comfort her.
    When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
    Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years
    old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear,"
    replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we
    figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would
    start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and
    even...Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the
    Dong."
    She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be
    Alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

  2. #2
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    1st August 2005 - 18:44
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    hmmmm. so strange its funny
    There is no dark side of the moon, really, as a matter of fact. Its all dark...

  3. #3
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    7th November 2004 - 11:00
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    I've heard it before, but damn its funny
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  4. #4
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    Damn those ice cream trucks huh? lol.
    Cat's could say... Psychokiller

  5. #5
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    1st August 2005 - 20:26
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    well he gave it all he had...too bad it killed him!
    Feisty by name Feisty by nature...

  6. #6
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    24th January 2005 - 15:45
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    On a related note (bad pun intentional):

    A bloke is visiting Switzerland, taking in scenery - the Alps, the quaint villages nestled in the foot hills, cobbled streets and terrace cafes with a view of the Alps beyond the 150-year-old churches etc.

    While he's enjoying a coffee at one of the cafes he learns that there's an old guy who plays the Alpen Horn up on one of the nearby mountains who will play a request if you ask him.

    The bloke thinks this would be cool so he sets off along the path that a kindly local indicated and spends most of the day labouring up this scenic - but winding and steep - path up the mountain, through forests of pine and larch, catching glimpses of villages and fields below and majestic mountains above.

    Finally he enters a clearing and lying on the ground is this huge Alpen Horn and near the mouth piece are two men, one standing, one lying on the ground.

    He approaches and fairly soon can see that the one on the ground is an old man, clearly dead. He goes up to the other man who is standing nearby and shaking his head sadly.

    "Is this the guy that plays the Alpen Horn?" The bloke asks, pointing at the body.

    The other man nods sadly.

    "Damn, I wanted him to play a tune for me. What happened to him?"

    The other guy regards him sadly and replies, "some bastard requested Flight of The Bumble Bee."
    Motorbike Camping for the win!

  7. #7
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    30th April 2004 - 11:20
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    Sunday Morning Sex

    I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling...

    Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

    Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100-years-old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

    "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age,
    we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along."
    FINE. This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

  8. #8
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    15th October 2005 - 17:42
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    ha ha.......

  9. #9
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    9th February 2005 - 13:27
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    lmao... oh no mr wippy strikes again!!!
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  10. #10
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    18th December 2004 - 08:09
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    LOL thats good.

    "If you can't laugh at yourself, you're just not paying attention!"
    "There is no limit to dumb."

    "Resolve to live with all your might while you do live, and as you shall wish you had done ten thousand years hence."

  11. #11
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    19th October 2005 - 19:29
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    Hahahaha, that's great.
    There's Life, the Universe and Everything, but I prefer pizza.

  12. #12
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    27th March 2006 - 10:29
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    woulda died quicker if the alarm clock went off?

  13. #13
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    29th September 2003 - 12:55
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    thats just wrong in soo many ways....
    Biker Babe...
    I Ride Like A Girl...
    Quote Originally Posted by deano
    Rossi Girl....My idol!!!!
    Silly Boys, Bikes are for Girls!


  14. #14
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    3rd March 2004 - 22:43
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    Doc friend of mine once told me that more people die in the saddle than you'd think. That and on the dunny. That's where Elvis died. In the bogger.


    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

  15. #15
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    19th October 2005 - 19:29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyryder
    Doc friend of mine once told me that more people die in the saddle than you'd think.
    ARGH! Imagine if you were the one who was still alive!
    There's Life, the Universe and Everything, but I prefer pizza.

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