Best line you've ever given a cop?

**marie_speeds** · 26th February 2011, 06:25

Driving home late last night after collecting drunken idiot at 2 am, I was pulled over. Not being in the best of moods, window goes down and I state "Yes, I wasn't speeding". Cop says "do you know you have a brake light out?" So I sarcastically replied "No I didn't, and that is on account of the fact that I sit in the car I don't bloody run behind it".....
He looked at me, still in my pj's, smiled and said..."Goodnight, remember to get it fixed"....

**Dave Lobster** · 26th February 2011, 06:29

"Why were you moving around in your lane so much?"
"Are you serious???"

**ynot slow** · 26th February 2011, 06:50

Cop-"Why are you driving"

Me-"To pissed to walk",think taxi would've been cheaper though.

**nadroj** · 26th February 2011, 06:52

Cop: "Please say your name and address".

Motorist: "Your name and address".

**ajturbo** · 26th February 2011, 07:09

Fuck off.....

**Scuba_Steve** · 26th February 2011, 07:13

Cop: "I almost got killed trying to keep up with you"
Me: "

yea I know"

(She tried to commit suicide by via an 18 wheeler, and didn't even get to issue a ticket)

**nodrog:Me** · 26th February 2011, 07:26

Goodafterble Constanoon.

**Dave Lobster** · 26th February 2011, 07:34

"It takes a long time to stop when you're going that fast, doesn't it?"
"I didn't ease off the throttle 'til I was sure you weren't holding a speed gun"

**Pussy** · 26th February 2011, 07:36

Cop: " Would you blow in to this bag, please?"

Me: " Why, are your chips too hot??"

**Maha** · 26th February 2011, 07:43

Cop..''So whats with the speed then''?

Me...''Whats with the silly hat''?

**MSTRS:Me** · 26th February 2011, 07:53

"I don't blow, Officer. I only suck."

Actually, I never said that, but I know who did...

**Trudes** · 26th February 2011, 08:10

When I was about 18 I drove a Ute, you had to hold it in first and was a good old Toyota-go-until-you-drown-it Hilux. Anyway.... went to a funeral of a friend of a friend and at the wake or whatever the pissup after is called we ran out of beer. I was a sober driver so said I'd do the beer run, but needed some help with the beer. So had 2 in the cab with me and 4 on the flat deck. Went to liquor store, bought 2 kegs and was merely on our way back when I got pulled up for going a little over the speed limit. When asked why I was speeding and what's with all the people and the kegs I replied that we were at a funeral and we were all really sad. Hey, it worked, he let me go but told me to make sure I found another way of securing my kegs to the back of my ute next time instead of taking people to hold them on!!! Ha, gotta love Gissy!! Wouldn't get away with it these days, too PC to be allowed to ride in the back of a ute, let alone rooting in one!

**Subike** · 26th February 2011, 08:21

Cunstable, "Why the speed sir"

Driver " Im fucking your wife, thought you were chasing me to give me the bash"

**MSTRS:Me** · 26th February 2011, 08:47

Originally Posted by Subike

Cunstable, "Why the speed sir"

Driver " Im fucking your wife, thought you were chasing me to give me the bash"

or - "My wife ran away with a copper. I thought you were him, trying to give her back"

**dogsnbikes** · 26th February 2011, 08:47

Got pulled over 2am one saturday morning In Howick

Cop: We just seen you leave the pub,you have a tail light out have you been drinking??

Me: Yep Thats why I go too the pub,yes the tail light just went out.

Cop: Can you blow into the bag.................Thanks that looks like a failed,stay there I'll be back...

Cop: You've already been breathtested tonight at 10pm

Me: Nah that was yesterday Mate

Cop laugh and said "best excuse I've herd yet,give me your keys and I dont want too see you before 3pm to get them back"

NO tciket NOthing

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