Advice from those who have been flatting

[JimO]

i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done

[Blackshear]

I have personally found that a 'you use it, you replace it' deal goes well with my last 3 sets of flatmates.
Currently sitting pretty at $80p/w rent, and $150/m for utilities.

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

She wrote it on the fridge


I personally think your dad isn't giving you enough leverage, but when you owe money you don't negotiate shit. Get rid of the deficit, and try raising your hand again.

[Blackshear]

i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done

I paid $70 a week for dinner only and a room with my brother.
How long ago was this?

[JimO]

I paid $70 a week for dinner only and a room with my brother.
How long ago was this?

errrrrr 1975 when i started working to 1979 when moved out aged 19 and got married and moved into my own house

[Blackshear]

errrrrr 1975 when i started working to 1979 when moved out aged 19 and got married and moved into my own house

Well shit, my mother was only 5.

[jaymzw]

Thanks for the replies people.
I take on board what was said regarding changing the rules after the arrangement and that is a fair point. So is the fact I may not realise how good I have it at the moment. It is possibly true?

However I can honestly say that the way I described the situation is accurate. I did help my Dad by coming here with him. Organised everything and got in contact with the relevant people etc. He would never have left New Zealand otherwise. I have never lived with my father before now and he hasn't given me a lot growing up from a monetary or fathering point of view so don't feel I owe him a whole lot. In saying that however reading these replies I think I overlooked the money he has fronted for me so far and that I should be more grateful for.

I wasn't so clear in my explanation of how I came to the outstanding balance of what I owed. I pay $150 a week in board and food and internet on top of that. I had payed board for the last 4 weeks so that wasn't included in the money outstanding at the moment.

I have a flat I can move into which would be perfect, $140 a week incl everything bar food (seperate arrangement as I want) however having had a re-think after some of the suggestions here I don't think I will do anything hasty for now and will at least give the arrangement a little longer and pay off the remaining money before looking at the situation again.

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

[Ocean1]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

Sounds well reasoned, sometimes you do have to go a bit more than half way.

Good luck, dude.

[Blackshear]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.
James

My dad moved out when I was 8 and the stark differences between his living code vs my mothers was substantial, to say the least.

Ever heard of oldschool vs newschool?
Might just be a hard kunt and wants you to live like his ideal growing young man, I know my dad gives me a bit of a whack here and there, still.

[Squiggles]

We share some food expenses (flour, spices, oil etc) but different tastes (vege vs carnivore) and budgets keep it mostly to the individual. Meat is expensiiiive

[ducatilover]

Sounds well reasoned, sometimes you do have to go a bit more than half way.

Good luck, dude.

+1.
Good luck mate, at least you can enjoy your grammar

[Mekk]

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

She wrote it on the fridge

aw so cayooot!!

[tigertim20]

So my situation is this.

I have moved to Perth with my Dad to try to get him set up here so he can save some money and not have to sell his house back in NZ. His workmate also came over with us. We are 'flatting' together in a house sharing rent, power, water, internet and food equally.

I took about a fortnight longer to get a job than either of them who got jobs with-in days of getting here. I owed approximately $900 in rent,food and set up costs which date back to about 6 weeks ago. This is all to my father.

As I now have a job I have gone about paying back this money however in doing so I have come to realise how much they have been spending on food. As I also came to Australia to save as much money as I can to go on my O.E and then on to Uni I now want to buy my own food. However bringing this up created a big argument despite what I thought were valid points regarding the equity of the current arrangement (I work shift work and sometimes miss dinner.) I don't expect either of them to start eating noodles and sausages like I want to but I dont want to eat chicken or steak every night either.

I am only 18 and have never lived with my father before nor have I flatted. Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything. They also thought I wouldn't be able to save more money buying for myself anyway.

And although I'm sure I can come across as knowing it all I don't appreciate the condescension I received when simply requesting that we review our living arrangements. So my question is what would be in my best interests given the above. Should I suck it up and spend more on food than I would like (I believe I could save $50 a week here) or should I persist and buy my own food anyway or even look for somewhere else to live as that was mentioned a few times as well.

Also comments on your flat arrangement and how that worked? Any other advice I could possibly use.

James

youre 18, man up.
Go home and tell them 'thanks and all that, but this is MY money, and MY decision, my eating habbits and times are sporadic, and this is my decision, end of story. If you dont like it, thats your issue.

Ive almost always done my own food when flatting because i dont eat according to a timetable, I eat what looks good when Im hungry. Tell them to fuck up, and let you make your own decisions.

[Berries]

The bigger issue may just be learning to live with my father. I always have the option to move out later if it remains a problem.

As someone else said, it's not really flatting if you are with your old man. Sounds like he could cope without you even though you took him to Oz. Personally I would move out, you need your own life. This should be the best time of your life and if you are worrying about stuff like that you are missing out on too much.

i used to pay mum $5.00 a week, should have stayed there, full board, washing done

She's charging a tenner now, but it's worth it.

[Hiflyer]

And Ashley owes me 5 eggs, a bottle of milk, peanut slab, bottle of garlic mayonnaise and... I owe her 2 woodies.

If she's good looking that sounds like a primo deal. Eat her food then stick it to her as payment.

Provided Ashley isn't related to you...

[CookMySock]

Their views were that I was an ungrateful little prick (my fathers words) and that I thought I knew everything.

Buy your own food and do what you want your own way. Tell your father to get used it or get fucked, and go back your cornflakes, sausages, and noodles.

Stand up for yourself and say what you think and do what you want, or all of society will stand all over you for the rest of your life. It's nice to think that everyone cares about what you want but the fact is they care more about what they want, just like you should do, so get over it and get on with it. It's your life, not theirs.