There's this gorgeous chick that works on the 10th floor, and she's super hot. You know the ones that are so good looking you think she plops out Maltesers when she poos. Couple of times she's sort of been giving me the eye in the lobby coffee shop and I've been doing the same. So for a while I've been building up courage and thinking up of how to ask her out....
Anyway I work on 20th floor, getting in the lift to head home I get something dodgy going on in stomach. The feeling reminded me of that Lord of the Rings scene where a camera pans in some cave and all these ugly gromit things are slaving away and lava is pissing everywhere, yeah it was that bad. Ain't good. Think it was the dodgy Irvines pie I had for lunch, not gourmet stuff like Mrs Macs. As the lift hits 15th floor I feel utterly helpless and rip out this massive groggy fart. I thought thank god I'm the only one in here and pray the lift doesn't stop on any other floors. As it's going down I can smell it, it's bad, really bad. The lift didn't stop on any other floors, straight to ground thank god I think. Feeling a little bit nauseous the doors open and Miss 10th floor is standing in front with another not so bad looking mate.
As I say hello (and she even gave me this huge grin!) and soldier out of the lift thinking what bad luck I had it get's only gets worse. She and her mate go "oh my god!" as the doors are closing.
Now I'm thinking I shouldn't have let them in to get auswitched rather should have sparked some interesting conversation.... Fuck it off for a beer now.
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Dirty bastard 
Originally Posted by Gubb
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