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Thread: Screwed up. Couldn't help it really

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by steve_t View Post
    Ah, the ol' Dutch Oven. Its hilarity will never die
    The real art is to fart and then turn the light on so they dive under the sheet and dutchie themselves

    .... back in green and feeling great ....



  2. #32
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    Yeah, think of it as prep for future 'fluffing of the sheets '.....
    "If you haven't grown up by the time you turn 50, you don't have to!"

  3. #33
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    So! What happened today then? Did she cut you dead? Or did she assume, from the stink, that you already are dead?
    . “No pleasure is worth giving up for two more years in a rest home.” Kingsley Amis

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by slofox View Post
    So! What happened today then? Did she cut you dead? Or did she assume, from the stink, that you already are dead?
    Or that something crawled up your butt and died?

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mental Trousers View Post
    Somebody quick off the mark would've stepped out and told her not to get in there cos the guy that got out further up nearly shit himself. Much more polite of course, but you get the drift.
    Oh yeah, I think she got the drift

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Indiana_Jones View Post
    I see you've played 'Farty-Sheety' before.

    -Indy
    Yep one of my fave bedtime games....always sets the mood

  7. #37
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    One of the hardest, but most satisfying hurdles of any relationship is getting past the "fart barrier". Damn! the OP is a f-ing rockstar!

  8. #38
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    12th February 2010 - 10:01
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    Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.

    But the boys at work had a good laugh when I told 'em about it. After lunch there was an Imodium packet sitting on my desk and someone left a spare nappy... A work mate even filled in the security guy at the counter about it and when I was in he suggested we call him up ask him if there were any ambulances called up last night. The security guy should win a fucking oscar, there he was on the speakerphone, very convincingly telling us 2 chicks passed after they pressed the lift alarm, blah blah blah etc. Very glad it turned out to be bullocks.

    So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...

  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by aprilia_RS250 View Post
    So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...
    We are....

    -Indy
    Hey, kids! Captain Hero here with Getting Laid Tip 213 - The Backrub Buddy!

    Find a chick who’s just been dumped and comfort her by massaging her shoulders, and soon, she’ll be massaging your prostate.


  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mental Trousers View Post
    Somebody quick off the mark would've stepped out and told her not to get in there cos the guy that got out further up nearly shit himself. Much more polite of course, but you get the drift.
    You got it brother! Seems he wasn't a very quick thinker!! Missed opportunity there!

    Quote Originally Posted by DangerousBastard View Post
    You shoulda put a big grin on and grabbed them both and pulled them away from the elevator.. "dont go in there - I just farted real bad.." It's a good excuse to get kino with them, have a chuckle, and later act like it was all a gag.. when only you know the terrible terrible truth lol.
    OH this is a bad choice! Telling them you stink like a dead cow is a conversation starter! gorgeous women you've never met are gonna be just grovelling on the floor over that pick up line!!

    Quote Originally Posted by aprilia_RS250 View Post
    Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.

    But the boys at work had a good laugh when I told 'em about it. After lunch there was an Imodium packet sitting on my desk and someone left a spare nappy... A work mate even filled in the security guy at the counter about it and when I was in he suggested we call him up ask him if there were any ambulances called up last night. The security guy should win a fucking oscar, there he was on the speakerphone, very convincingly telling us 2 chicks passed after they pressed the lift alarm, blah blah blah etc. Very glad it turned out to be bullocks.

    So not really looking forward to the day miss 10th floor and I cross paths...
    No NO no you got a big mouth sonny Jim!! If this story ever gets back to her your fucked mate!! And its gonna LOL!! with half the place incl security sniggering at her everytime she walks past!
    Ya never no she could even be a Kiwibiker


    Great story LOL!! Keep use updated aye! Best of luck!
    On a Motorcycle you're penetrating distance, right along with the machine!! In a car you're just a spectator, the windshields like a TV!!

    'Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out! Shouting, ' Holy sh!t... What a Ride!! '

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by aprilia_RS250 View Post
    Haven't seen her today... Might be a good thing.
    She's probably dead.. lol
    "I am a licenced motorcycle instructor, I agree with dangerousbastard, no point in repeating what he said."
    "read what Steve says. He's right."
    "What Steve said pretty much summed it up."
    "I did axactly as you said and it worked...!!"
    "Wow, Great advise there DB."
    WTB: Hyosung bikes or going or not.

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