Age to become independent?

[Mom]

Lowering the drinking age was a mistake

Compounding it with the attitude that it is wrong to wallop your kids if they deserve it and replacing it with the notion that "time out" and "consequences" would do the trick, without actually teaching people what that meant, raised a generation of little shits that know NOTHING will happen to them if they fuck up.

I was NOT allowed to get my license until I was 16, though my brother could get his at 15! Thankfully I lived somewhere good public transport meant I could get where I needed to be, failing that I hitch hiked

Call me old fashioned if you will, my kids had to work to earn money to buy a mobile phone, they had to pay for the top ups themselves. Woe betide them if they had no credit to text Mommy to let her know where they were at!

I feel we are raising a generation of ME people. It is all about ME!!!!!!!!

Keeping these kids are home is only going to remove them from "life" for another year. I am a rural dweller, having independant kids was the "goal"

I have had to do the balancing act between wanting your daughter home by 10pm (at 15) and trusting her to keep safe. I gave her (and her siblings) some rope, thakfully they did not hang and are infact the pride of my life!

So, when independance? I am going to say 15! Teach your kids early and give them wings to fly when they are young enough to soar!!!!

[mashman]

heh, I remember being one of those kids. I took most of the rope, although I know it was grudlingly given, or I know now I should say. Hopefully I'll get it as right as you did .

Independance. Depends on the kid, could be as low as 8. But we're not allowed to think like that any more. How late were you allowed out as a kid?

[Motu]

They will be independent free thinkers,...until they join KB - then they will be told what bike to ride,how to ride it,what clothes to wear,and if they break any of the rules will be ridiculed into submission.

[ellipsis]

...14...let them loose with a pocket knife and can opener and a one way ticket...when they come back the next day, they should be told they have two years left, if they dont get their shit together...unless you need one of them to suss your internet crap...then they have an open option, no dishes' reqd type of agreement 'til they hit 24...after that they have to do the dishes, and maybe clean their room...

[Laava]

Call me old fashioned if you will, !!!

What time is dinner Mommy?

[FJRider]

Lowering the drinking age was a mistake

"They" saw the light ... from the 1st of August (THIS year) the YOUTH drink limit reduced to ZERO ... 20 years and UNDER ... ZERO limit ...

Compounding it with the attitude that it is wrong to wallop your kids if they deserve it and replacing it with the notion that "time out" and "consequences" would do the trick, without actually teaching people what that meant, raised a generation of little shits that know NOTHING will happen to them if they fuck up.

It take a few months for "Real world syndrome" to kick in after leaving HOME (of the parents) but mummy and daddy will pay the bills ... eh ... !!!

I was NOT allowed to get my license until I was 16, though my brother could get his at 15! Thankfully I lived somewhere good public transport meant I could get where I needed to be, failing that I hitch hiked

Again ... from the 1st of August ... this too will be ... and BOYS are more mature than GIRLS ... eh ... !!

So ... hitch hiking wasn't mentioned by said parents ... ???

Call me old fashioned if you will, my kids had to work to earn money to buy a mobile phone, they had to pay for the top ups themselves. Woe betide them if they had no credit to text Mommy to let her know where they were at!

I had to wait untill I was 35 years old ... before I could get a mobile phone ...

I feel we are raising a generation of ME people. It is all about ME!!!!!!!!

No ... it's a generation of ... if everybody ELSE has it ... (and we[I] dont ...

The Goverment MUST provide it ...

We have rights ... eh ... !!!

Keeping these kids are home is only going to remove them from "life" for another year. I am a rural dweller, having independant kids was the "goal"

Independance "How to" should be taught in schools ...

I have had to do the balancing act between wanting your daughter home by 10pm (at 15) and trusting her to keep safe. I gave her (and her siblings) some rope, thakfully they did not hang and are infact the pride of my life!

Giving them SHORT lengths of rope first is usually the key ... Even SHORTER ... or NO rope if they ...

So, when independance? I am going to say 15! Teach your kids early and give them wings to fly when they are young enough to soar!!!!

Personally ... I believe they should be sold into slavery aged 12 ... but thats just MY opinion. Public opinion MAY differ ...

[Fatt Max]

All I know is, at 15 I was playing gigs in the West End of London rubbing shoulders with the likes of The Clash, Stiff Little Fingers, Paul Cook and Steve Jones (ex Sex Pistols) and other mad bastards like that.

I snorted far too much whizz, drunk far too much piss and toked myself to the moon and back just about every night. I spent the last year of my school days whacked off my fucking head with a hangover most mornings and a good dose of billy up my hooter in the evenings.

My folks never really knew, although they guessed correct a few times.

By 17 the music scene in London was buzzing, shit loads of drugs, booze and drugs fucking everywhere, and I tried to take all of it.

A near fatal accident in a tube station sobered me up and 20 years hard study of Judo and Aikido from there on kept me straight.

Was that independance??? Fuck no, but it was a great laugh.

Would I encourage Mini Max to follow that lifestyle? Fuck no but he probably will and I will probably never know.

Give em the slack and the space, let them make their own mistakes and make sure they pay for those mistakes. As for what age, I think 15 - 16 would be about right but hey, who knows.

Just as long as the limo contaiing mini max, a few hookers and quality coke stops off home on its way to teh airport then I really dont give a fuck.....go forth and have it young man and fuck anyone that tries to stop you

[jazfender]

I feel we are raising a generation of ME people. It is all about ME!!!!!!!!

uh, a bit late... Gen ME are in our twenties and thirties.

I agree though, leaving home early was the best thing I've ever done.

[FJRider]

All I know is ...

At aged 16 ... I announced to my parents I was leaving home ...


My fathers reaction was to give me $5 ... for the first TWO tanks of gas for my motorbike ... on condition ... I ACTUALLY LEFT THAT DAY ... (I did)

His parting words ... Write ... dont phone (COLLECT)

Over the years ... I made mistakes ... and I dealt with them ... myself.

I remember my father giving me some advice when I was age 11 ... he told me, if I wanted anything in life ... I was to get off my arse and work for it. 'Cause NOBODY was going to GIVE it to me ...

I guess times have changed ...

[DrunkenMistake]

When I was 15 I got my learners license but didnt see the need to go further with it as I had a bus that left from down the road and went to school everyday, but my parents have always had an attitude of, if you want it, you work your nuts off for it to get it, in saying that they have helped me out for example, I am paying them off weekly for some money I borrowed off them for new tyres but they have never outright given me money for something I wanted well since I have been about 13, I didnt get much as a little kid but I got enough.
My partner and I are currently looking for a place to rent for ourselves and unfortanitly due to work circumstances my partner has lost hours and is unable to regain them, thankfully my parents have a large rumpus room out the back above the 4 car garage so we have been allowed to live here for a bit longer (not for free tho we are still paying).
So in that aspect thats how mum and dad look after me, But I have always been given some sort of independence, I lived in town untill I was about 12 and I had certain limits as to what time I had to be home and what not, cant recall what they were but we hit a finacial hard spot at that point and my nana had passed away the same time, so my grandfather was able to go halfs with mum and dad in a house out of town so from then on in, it was a bit hard to cause trouble late at night so I was pretty free to roam about after schools and so on so long as I was home before bed time which was like 10pm on a school night or something.

I dont know if any of that made me who I am as a person, but I think If my parents had attempted to control every aspect of my life I would be very bitter and spiteful and probably one of little pricks tagging someones property with my name.. but I think my parents had a good even balance and I think thats whats important.

[oldrider]

Lowering the drinking age was a mistake

Compounding it with the attitude that it is wrong to wallop your kids if they deserve it and replacing it with the notion that "time out" and "consequences" would do the trick, without actually teaching people what that meant, raised a generation of little shits that know NOTHING will happen to them if they fuck up.

I was NOT allowed to get my license until I was 16, though my brother could get his at 15! Thankfully I lived somewhere good public transport meant I could get where I needed to be, failing that I hitch hiked

Call me old fashioned if you will, my kids had to work to earn money to buy a mobile phone, they had to pay for the top ups themselves. Woe betide them if they had no credit to text Mommy to let her know where they were at!

I feel we are raising a generation of ME people. It is all about ME!!!!!!!!

Keeping these kids are home is only going to remove them from "life" for another year. I am a rural dweller, having independant kids was the "goal"

I have had to do the balancing act between wanting your daughter home by 10pm (at 15) and trusting her to keep safe. I gave her (and her siblings) some rope, thakfully they did not hang and are infact the pride of my life!

So, when independance? I am going to say 15! Teach your kids early and give them wings to fly when they are young enough to soar!!!!

Independence training begins at birth IMHO and there should not be an age limit to achieving anything, the only factors that should limit them are attitude, safety, competence and a clear understanding of consequence!

Age is meaningless because everyone develops differently, one size does not fit all.

Lowering the drinking age was not a mistake, the management of it was, our society completely fucked it up and blamed the poor bloody kids FFS!

The kids (minority) that did fuck up got "all" the attention and now they want to punish the good kids "again" by not even giving them the chance to show what "they" can do, based on the failures of others.

Why don't they punish the pricks that failed and let the others get on with it!

Typical state school teacher attitude, punish them that do and reward them that don't ... crime pays but only in New Zealand but that's another issue!

[Ender EnZed]

So, when independance? I am going to say 15! Teach your kids early and give them wings to fly when they are young enough to soar!!!!

You kicked your kids out to fend entirely for themselves at 15?

[jazfender]

they're ready as soon as someone picks them out of a basket in the river

[superman]

Lowering the drinking age was a mistake

Call me old fashioned if you will, my kids had to work to earn money to buy a mobile phone, they had to pay for the top ups themselves. Woe betide them if they had no credit to text Mommy to let her know where they were at!

I feel we are raising a generation of ME people. It is all about ME!!!!!!!!

Good on ya Mum (just cause I hate American spelling)!

Seen some recent studies that the pop culture of today develops kids into narcissists. But any kid that ends up being influenced by and drawn to pop culture need help finding individuality anyway so it's all about exposing kids to loads of different culture!

Disagree about drinking age... well I mean lowering it was bad, but it won't be fixed by raising it. It's the drinking culture which is the problem, though that is obvious. Especially by how hard it is to find pubs that sell good enough food for dinner to have while you're drinking. This is where we should be following our European counterparts more closely. Get rid of stupid women drinks (excuse the derogatory slang ) such as RTD's. Let us have wine, beer and spirits with food. The combinations that invigorate the good old tastebuds are amazing and promote strong social enjoyment. I couldn't survive without having Kirsch (cherry schnapps) after a heavy cheese fondue. That's what I get for having Swiss parents.

Always got a good contrast with my friends from school and my girlfriends friends. My friends and I (from a private school, yeah I know...) would go around to someones place, get pissed on beer slowly through the course of the evening while playing poker, listening to Pink Floyd, talking about politics and all sorts. However if I went out with my girlfriend and her friends... they would want to listen to their Hip-Hop/Lady Gaga so they could dance raunchy while getting as pissed as possible as fast as possible. Not a good conversation to be had here except about how ugly someones clothes were...

And that pretty much sums up my generation. Sad I know.

[ducatilover]

I won't get into the debate, but, my nice wee story in short form:
Grew up in Wainuiomata, very Christian family, no TV, radio etc.
We left there at 14, I always spent my spare time exercising, running, walking, hiking/tramping, massive push bike rides and a few years spent doing Mauy Thai as a hobby.
I continued to do so..
I was top or second in all my classes.
Hated home life and the Christianity side of things, went rebelious and when I turned 16 went mad and left. Lived in a caravan for a while, got a few bikes, cars etc. Fucked up, smashed a bike and myself pretty big time during my just started building career. My older brother took me back to Mum and Dads to get back on my feet again, Nov '05 to June '06 I could barely do the walking/exercise I usually did.
Got back on my feet, deposit on bike in June '06, buggered of again.
I'm an independent chap, always have been, but when things have been fucked up my parents have been there to help.
I never had a cell phone etc brought for me, I personally prefer socks and undies (they wear out so fast!!!!!!!!)
So I guess the amount of independence or responsibility you give/force on your kids is what the problems will arise from.
Anyhoo, I went through phases "finding what I want to do"
Mechanics.
Auto electrical.
Panel beating.
Mental Health support worker and am now a Psych student looking at joining the armed forces if they'll have me.