Some Auckland commuters have very tiny penises

**Mom** · 19th May 2011, 18:01

I have been doing the commute for a few months now and have marvelled from time to time at the appalling skill of some drivers on our roads. I have been pulled out in front of, turned in front of, I even had a bus cause me to stop in the middle of a roundabout as he rushed to get to the stop around the corner. I have had to come to a complete stop behind a car that stopped to give way to a car on a compulsory stop sign, while on a free turn himself. It is all part of the fabric of riding a bike in the shitty city, not worth commenting on really.

Today however, I experienced something that truely jaw dropped me, and showed me just how ignorant and dangerous some drivers are. I was early, the traffic was lighter than normal and I was cruising along with the flow doing a tad over 110kph ( how I managed to avoid death I have no idea). I was leaving a good following distance between me and the car infront and constantly scanning my mirrors for any errant plod

One minute the road behind me was clear, the next there was a small white Toyota right up my date, so close that it made the hair on the back of my hair stand up. I opened the throttle and gained a bit of distance, then backed off. Next thing this prick is back up my date. Rinse and repeat. I was in the right had wheel track and was about to go to the left and really put some distance between me and this dickhead when he undertook me

Not a big deal one would say, but this wanker was straddling the line, half in my lane and half in the next. He came so close to me I could have touched his car. Once he got up alongside me he moved into the next lane.

I got such a surprise it took a few moments to gather myself enough to scream some suitable abuse at him, while giving him the universal hand message

Like I said traffic was light, there was plenty of space for him to change lanes without endangering my life, he chose a different path. I think he was a short arsed, ginga to boot. I should have pity on him perhaps?

**unstuck** · 19th May 2011, 18:14

That is one of the reasons we left auckland,got sick of all the fuckwit drivers.Moved to pakiri beach,but still had to commute to redvale every day and the roads just kept getting more and more crowded.Finally moved to southland where there is only 60.000 people in the whole region and the roads and traffic are awesome.And house prices are still pretty good too. Take care up there.

**Camshaft** · 19th May 2011, 18:16

i had a courier driver turn into my lane with me in it, nudge me, i smaked his window and he realised i was there and went back into his own lane, and then the curry cunt did the exact same thing about a hundred meters down the road!!!!.

**slofox** · 19th May 2011, 18:32

Originally Posted by Mom

He came so close to me I could have touched his car.

With your boot I hope Mom..?

**neels** · 19th May 2011, 18:56

Not just Auckland.

On my ride home a couple of days ago had a car miss my front wheel by about 3 inches changing lanes, got to practice my emergency stopping skills when a car decided the correct time for a right turn was the same time I arrived at an intersection, and again when a car pulled out in front of me. Not to mention the dodging of errant scooter riders.

I love riding motorbikes, it never gets boring.

**awa355** · 19th May 2011, 19:16

I booted the lefthand mirror on a car once, when he pulled across into my lane without bothering to get past first.

Smashed the mirror , but the kick knocked me off balance and bloody nearly crashed myself.

Quite satisfying tho'.

**brnstr** · 19th May 2011, 19:19

hey guys,

well i have been riding for about 2 weeks now and when i was driving a car i thought i had seen some messed up stuff and i had tried to be a nice motorist and give way and make sure there were no people around me when i was changing lanes etc.....
but i must say in the last 2 weeks the things i have seen auckland motorist doing blows me away i am kinda worried to n=be out there riding haha....
so if anyone can offer some help or skills i will need please please please help me.......

**Ender EnZed** · 19th May 2011, 19:52

Originally Posted by Mom

One minute the road behind me was clear, the next there was a small white Toyota right up my date, so close that it made the hair on the back of my hair stand up. I opened the throttle and gained a bit of distance, then backed off. Next thing this prick is back up my date. Rinse and repeat. I was in the right had wheel track and was about to go to the left and really put some distance between me and this dickhead when he undertook me

Not a big deal one would say, but this wanker was straddling the line, half in my lane and half in the next. He came so close to me I could have touched his car. Once he got up alongside me he moved into the next lane.

So you were in the right hand lane and you weren't overtaking anything? Do I understand the situation correctly? Now I'm not suggesting his actions were acceptable or appropriate and I would also have been pissed off, however the speeding up and tailgating you part sounds entirely predictable. And the dodgey overtake on the left shouldn't really have been out of the blue given what he was doing immediately prior.

Was there some reason you didn't move into the left lane after he first arrived behind you, obviously travelling significantly faster?

**neels** · 19th May 2011, 20:01

Originally Posted by Ender EnZed

Was there some reason you didn't move into the left lane after he first arrived behind you, obviously travelling significantly faster?

Possibly the same reason I don't on a 2 laned road on the way to work, because I'm going to turn right at the next intersection so need to be in the correct lane when I get there?

Think outside your apparently very small square.

**Blackshear** · 19th May 2011, 20:11

Some people are just arrogant/think they're the shit because they're in a rush.
I guess we'll all do it at some point, though can't talk for myself that I wouldn't expect someone to knock off MY right hand side wing mirror for merging me into a crash post before the harbor bridge

**Big Dave** · 19th May 2011, 20:12

It was a cold day.

**Blackshear** · 19th May 2011, 20:12

Originally Posted by Big Dave

It was a cold day.

And he just got out of the water.

**Ender EnZed** · 19th May 2011, 20:14

Originally Posted by neels

Possibly the same reason I don't on a 2 laned road on the way to work, because I'm going to turn right at the next intersection so need to be in the correct lane when I get there?

Which is perfectly reasonable but it wasn't stated and I'd rather make 2 lane changes than deal with an obviously aggressive cager.

Originally Posted by neels

Think outside your apparently very small square.

Not polite enough for you eh?

**Urano** · 19th May 2011, 21:48

a lot of people have very small penis.

always keep with you all the safety measures:

**Gremlin** · 20th May 2011, 01:55

Had a car try to share my lane a couple of days ago in downtown Auckland. Not quite sure why he/she thought they could do it, but since I was on the BMW, and sit higher than the car, with nasty looking crash bars, I thought fuck it, and held my ground. Car backed off and went behind.

I think they figure it's not exactly like we're using all the space, so they can