WHY US GUYS ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE:

[Jantar]

Copied from another site.

WHY GUYS ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE:

Our last name stays put.

The gargre is all ours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

We can be president.

We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

We can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.

Bike mechanics tell us the truth.

The world is our urinal.

We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

We know stuff about Bikes.

A five-day vacation requires only one pannier.

We can open all our own jars.

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

We almost never have strap problems in public.

We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

Everything on our face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

We only have to shave our face and neck.

We can play with toys all our life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.

We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife.

We have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

No wonder guys are so happy!

[Sparky Bills]

HELL YEAH!

[v.ros`]

soo true....

[MSTRS:Me]

All true. And we can put the seat up without a major fuss - in fact, some of us belong to the 'Up or Down - Who Cares Club'

[bugjuice]

herr herr..

[NC]

"We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky."


Ah come on! What's wrong with doing that?

[MSTRS:Me]

As if we need any more proof of the simple pleasures of being male....

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she"

[bugjuice]

lamo . . . .

[JohnBoy]

AMEN!

[Wolf]

All true. And we can put the seat up without a major fuss - in fact, some of us belong to the 'Up or Down - Who Cares Club'

Yeah. Why can't women put the seat down? Yeah, I know the accusation is generally levelled at us but I've never had any difficulty putting the seat down - and generally none lifting it, either (except for when I stuffed my back and I had a hell of a job bending even that much).

I've flatted with guys who never called out for assistance in getting the seat down (and one guy who didn't seem to know how to lift the seat when appropriate ) and I've flatted/lived with so many women who yell out "you didn't put the bloody seat down, you bastard" damn-near every time they go in there.

Apparently (I know 'cause I've asked) women back into the toilet and sit down without looking. Apparently, the male's trick of walking in forwards, looking at the seat and adjusting its state if required, seems to elude most of our "fairer sex" (and at least one male who can't come to grips with "adjusting" it out of the way).

Apparently, also, it is a matter of courtesy for us males to put the seat down - so there you go: it is officially "discourteous" to not predict the future accurately enough to know who in your household will be the next in the toilet and determine whether or not the seat needs to be up or down well in advance...

I think all males should rise up in protest against the rampant sexism exhibited by so many wymmyn out there. No more shall we accept being abused and expected to perform menial work in the toilets. No longer shall we accept being sworn at and derided and accused of "not being able" to perform a simple task when it is patently clear that it is our accusers who lack the capacity. "Transference", the shrinks call it...

[MSTRS:Me]

You need somewhere to stay until the 'fuss' dies down....

[Eurygnomes]

My ex and I came to a sensible compromise. EVERYONE puts the seat down. Voila: no arguments. Provided it's down BEFORE the loo's used of course!

[Lou Girardin]

I thought they complained because they didn't want to touch it.

[Slipstream]

Also ... guys don't ever have worry about pushing something the size of a watermelon out of a hole in their body that can only stretch to the size of an orange .... think about that for a moment ......

[Wolf]

I thought they complained because they didn't want to touch it.

I've been told by many women that it's because they go in there and sit down on the cold rim and "get a nasty shock", which puzzled me somewhat - what's wrong with their eyes? Can they not see the seat is up before they sit down? I've never had that problem.

Perhaps Lou is right and the ones I've questioned have lacked the integrity to admit the reason to me, preferring me to believe them blind or unobservant rather than "finicky".