An over reaction?

[marie_speeds]

So a friend sorted out an access visit 3 weeks ago with her ex. This will be only the 2nd time in 6 months that he has seen his baby, the first time being last week. Not for lack of trying on her part...she has offered and offered access to no avail and finally settled on a miserly one Sunday per month for a min 2 hours which is the only agreement she could get out of him....there is a lot of bad history I will not go into with mistakes on both their parts....Anyhoo she asked him to pick them up and take their daughter out for the day so that his daughter can start to bond with him and learn to recognise her father...he stated he could not afford gas for car so she then offered to pay gas....she then offered gas money again this past weekend only to be told by him that he has now organised a ride with his friends after his access visit in the past week so cannot bring his car....seems his plan was to ride over, call into her house and spend his minimum two hours with his baby daughter and then bugger off with his mates for a ride.....Friend is now really annoyed at his suggestion of visit and has now gotten trespass order....stating that he can take his daughter out to do something nice like go to Western Springs or the park and spend proper quality time bonding with his daughter instead of sitting around in her lounge counting the minutes.....

Now seeing as KB is so full of sensible people I thought I'd ask the question....
Is getting a trespass order an over reaction on her part?

Afterall it is just a ride with friends.....

[Str8 Jacket]

Is your friend on the dole?

[Stirts]

Kind of reeks of twitter and bistedness if you ask me.

Who said that sitting around in her lounge is not quality time? Given that he is just starting to get to know the kid - common sense really, what better way to make the kid feel safe and get to know them better than when they are in their own environment.

I wonder......one of the reasons they broke up was because he goes for rides with his mates and leaves her at home?

[Usarka]

So she'd prefer no visit if he's not going to do it the way she wants?

[Banditbandit]

It seems to me that HE is not that interested ... If she is the one who is trying to get contact and visits - not him. I read it that he is wants minimal involvement with the kid ... he is not pushing fror more, he wants LESS ...

Is a Trespass Order an overreaction? Probably - and he can use it as an excuse to never see the kid ...

[Paul in NZ]

Its a very immature 'revenge' action designed to give her something to get huffy about and tweet / facebook her 'friends' about (go on, I'll bet its on her facebook page).....

I feel sorry for the baby - BOTH parents need to pull their heads out of their arses and get on with it....

[Virago]

A Trespass Order being used to punish and manipulate...?

No, that's not an over-reaction...

I'd bet the other side of the story will paint a different picture.

[nodrog:Me]

Is it too late for an Abortion?

[fokky]

friend needs to learn she cant control how others behave.knee jerk fk you tresspass orders?good one,friend should grow up and concentrate on her own side of the street.noddy father may want to be part of kids life in time or he may not...........

[neels]

Yes.

Sounds more like she wants a break from looking after the kid, and him visiting at home doesn't suit because there's nothing in it for her.

[oneofsix]

Is it too late for an Abortion?

which parent should be aborted or both?

[willytheekid]

.......poor kid

[Banditbandit]

Yes.

Sounds more like she wants a break from looking after the kid, and him visiting at home doesn't suit because there's nothing in it for her.

That's one possible interpretation. Another is that after a break up there can be a lot of acrimony between the two parties and maybe she doesn't want to be in a situation where that can arise - and the safest way is to keep the partner away from her home - whether the acrimony is on her part of his or both - best to avoid the situation ... and for the sake of the kid ... who doesn't need to witness heated arguments between parents ...

So pick up the kid for a few hours and leave may be the best option for all ...

And maybe the guy is violent so she doesn't feel safe having hm in her home ..

Plenty of possibilities .. and yes, maybe she wants a break for a few hours ...

[marie_speeds]

Its a very immature 'revenge' action designed to give her something to get huffy about and tweet / facebook her 'friends' about (go on, I'll bet its on her facebook page).....

I feel sorry for the baby - BOTH parents need to pull their heads out of their arses and get on with it....

I have actually said the exact same words to both of them.....

[ellipsis]

...as with a hell of a lot of these ,'problems'...more time thinking about the baby and the babies life than the squabbles and hurts and the me..me..me..is whats required...babies aint tools to use, tho it seems that a lot of fucked up parents think they are....