Why bikes are better than sex...

**bugjuice** · 2nd June 2005, 10:20

If I ride to many bikes it will still not hurt to Pee, nor will my pecker be covered in lesions or a rash.

My bike can be ridden harder than I am capable of before it breaks.

My bike only needs feeding 2-3 times a week and costs less than a trip to McDonalds with a pillion to fill.

My bike only answers back when I am actually wrong.

Riding bareback might get me arrested but is unlikely to result in lots of smaller bikes.

A sore wrist is a sign of enjoying yourself in excess as opposed to cheating on your pillion with yourself.

I can ride whenever I want whereever I want, all though with my current ride dirt tracking is still out of the question.

I can ride my bike in front of my mother.

I can ride my bike in front of my kids.

I can read magazines about it in public without attracting unwanted attention.

I can log on to sites about it at work without getting fired.

I can log on to good sites about it without needing a credit card.

Wearing heavy leather gear for it does not make me perverted.

A blow job is only as far away as raising my visor.

I don't have to shower first if I want to go the long way.

I am more likely to be offered a ride on your bike than your wife.... And my bike is less likely to complain if I lend it to a mate.

My bike has never called me fat.

My bike has never woken me up to ask me "did you hear that? Go and see what it was!

My bike does not want a turn with the remote.

My bike is unlikely to ever complain about having had better riders.

When my bike gets too old/broken to ride she won't mind being traded on a younger model.

My bike does not mind when I wave to other riders while in the saddle.

I can ride my bike in a pblic group orgy and not be frowned upon

My bike does not mind when I lust after other bikes while in the saddle.

If you manage two hours in one go your not so knackered that you can't go again in 10 mins, although you may still need some lube.

**Pwalo** · 2nd June 2005, 10:40

Better or safer?

**bugjuice** · 2nd June 2005, 10:46

Originally Posted by Pwalo

Better or safer?

depends what angle you take on it..

**RiderInBlack** · 2nd June 2005, 13:04

Old Posts on the same subject:
In The Man's Corner (or was that the "Dog Box") Big Dog (posted 11th June 2004, in "Sex Or Bikes")

Originally Posted by Big Dog

What in gods name is TYVM?

If I ride to many bikes it will still not hurt to Pee, nor will my pecker be covered in lesions or a rash.

My bike can be ridden harder than I am capable of before it breaks.

My bike only needs feeding 2-3 times a week and costs less than a trip to McDonalds with a pillion to fill.

My bike only answers back when I am actually wrong.

Riding bareback might get me arrested but is unlikely to result in lots of smaller bikes.

A sore wrist is a sign of enjoying yourself in excess as opposed to cheating on your pillion with yourself.

I can ride whenever I want whereever I want, all though with my current ride dirt tracking is still out of the question.

I can ride my bike in front of my mother.

I can ride my bike in front of my kids.

I can read magazines about it in public without attracting unwanted attention.

I can log on to sites about it at work without getting fired.

I can log on to good sites about it without needing a credit card.

Wearing heavy leather gear for it does not make me perverted.

A blow job is only as far away as raising my visor.

I don't have to shower first if I want to go the long way.

I am more likely to be offered a ride on your bike than your wife.... And my bike is less likely to complain if I lend it to a mate.

My bike has never called me fat.

My bike has never woken me up to ask me "did you hear that? Go and see what it was!

My bike does not want a turn with the remote.

My doesn't care if I have a small pecker.

My bike is unlikely to ever complain about having had better riders.

When my bike gets too old/broken to ride she won't mind being traded on a younger model.

You are expected nay, required to rub creme into her dial.

My bike does not mind when I wave to other riders while in the saddle.

My bike does not mind when I lust after other bikes while in the saddle.

If you manage two hours in one go your not so knackered that you can't go again in 10 mins, although you may still need some lube.

I don't have to feel like a ride to enjoy one.

Need I say more?

And with the quick comeback for the Women Celtic Sea Lily (posted 12th June 2004, same Thread)

Originally Posted by Celtic_Sea_lily

I'll have a go at a woman's version of this cos it's 1am & my flatmates just woke me up (BLESS THEM!!!)

If I ride it will never cause me to get some nasty rash, itch or prevent me from riding again.

I will give up riding before my bike does.

My bike would always be keen to keep riding.

I will never have to worry about my bike being insecure about it's size.

My bike won't feel inadequate if I say I like bigger bikes.

My bike likes protection.

If I ride my bike for 2 hours straight I can generally rely on it to be able to get going again straight away.

My bike will respect me in the morning if I ride it all night.

My bike is always there when I need it.

My bike will always respond to my riding needs.

I can ride my bike as often as I like, with as many stops in between as I like and know I can just hop back on and ride again!

When my bike has had a lot to drink it can still be ridden.

My bike will not be insecure about other rides I've had in the past.

My bike will not go all weird if I see my old bike in the street.

My bike knows it performs better if it's clean & sweet smelling.

My bike doesn't get performance anxiety.

My bike never performs too quickly.

My bike doesn't always want just a short, hard ride & always enjoys the longer route.

I can still ride my bike if my arse is getting big.

My bike doesn't care how I look.

My bike always give me some satisfaction.

My bike likes it when I point out it's faults & failings.

My bike lets me take control.