Benefits

[avgas]

(Lots of writing - every thought of getting a job that uses all this writing?....Oh right....thats a no then)

.......I may have gone on to become a manufacturer with a large company and hundreds of staff, if I had been given the right conditions to thrive, instead of struggle....

So clearly the difference between Aspies / ADHD and the rest of us is the that unemployed aspies/adhd believe they ALONE are hard done by, and its because they alone suffer all these injustices.

Let me put it very clearly, in to a very simple sentence.

LIFE IS A BITCH FOR ALL.

Its not just you, its not because you have aspies or adhd.........its a bitch for all who try and make headroom.
And the best thing is the less you think like the rest of the world......actually the easier it is. You don't fall into the typical traps. You can't be wound up the same by the same problems.

We don't all skip into work in the morning. We all get bored. We all slack off. None of us get the right conditions to thrive......in fact most of us get conditions that create zombies
Shit I struggle to get up out of bed most mornings. I don't need John Kirwin to tell me what is wrong with my life. But I have bills to pay and mouths to feed and every now and then there is something good to look forward for.

[Banditbandit]

Yeup!!!! My wife, who is an expert on Aspergers/ADHD says I'm clearly there .. SO WHAT !!!

I think may people could easily be given alphabet soup to explain why they behave the way they do ... in the end it's meaningless ...

I've been on an uneployment benefit for three months (once in my life) .. always worked .. always paid the bills ...

You like to eat? Well work ... buy food ... pay the rent ... pay the bills ... ... I beleive there should be adequate benefits for those who need them - but not a career choice!!!!

[Oscar]

So clearly the difference between Aspies / ADHD and the rest of us is the that unemployed aspies/adhd believe they ALONE are hard done by, and its because they alone suffer all these injustices.

Let me put it very clearly, in to a very simple sentence.

LIFE IS A BITCH FOR ALL.

Its not just you, its not because you have aspies or adhd.........its a bitch for all who try and make headroom.
And the best thing is the less you think like the rest of the world......actually the easier it is. You don't fall into the typical traps. You can't be wound up the same by the same problems.

We don't all skip into work in the morning. We all get bored. We all slack off. None of us get the right conditions to thrive......in fact most of us get conditions that create zombies
Shit I struggle to get up out of bed most mornings. I don't need John Kirwin to tell me what is wrong with my life. But I have bills to pay and mouths to feed and every now and then there is something good to look forward for.

Life is a bitch for all, but for some it's harder than others.
I have a son who has Aspergers Syndrome and sometimes I despair as to what he will do with his life, and what would happen if his parents weren't there to support him. He's very intelligent, but very, very different - his lfe is always going to be harder than most peoples' and being told to "harden the fuck up" by ignorant people is never going to help.

[imdying]

yep, I reckon if any of my old mates saw me know they would probably think I was a complete sell out, but at least I still ride a Triumph not a ricer.

Heh, my friends would see that the other way around for me I've got some bad news for them though, that new 675R is a peach. Mind you, it's a bit of a ricer itself...

[BoristheBiter]

Interesting .. when I left the bad boys and finally got clean ... after a while ... I found that the person I was back then would not like the person I have become today ...

But I'd rather be the person that I am today than the person I was back then ... (and I'm still alive .. which might not be true if I hadn't changed )

yep, I reckon if any of my old mates saw me know they would probably think I was a complete sell out, but at least I still ride a Triumph not a ricer. And like you I'm alive and have stayed out of prison, so if being a sell-out is the price, it's a price I'm glad I paid.

More the point, would the person you are today be mates with the person you were then?
I still see my old mates and its hard to have a conversation as our lives are so far opposite there is no common ground anymore and it becomes the same old "the old days" conversation.

Yeup!!!! My wife, who is an expert on Aspergers/ADHD says I'm clearly there .. SO WHAT !!!

I think may people could easily be given alphabet soup to explain why they behave the way they do ... in the end it's meaningless ...

I've been on an uneployment benefit for three months (once in my life) .. always worked .. always paid the bills ...

You like to eat? Well work ... buy food ... pay the rent ... pay the bills ... ... I beleive there should be adequate benefits for those who need them - but not a career choice!!!!

As an old boss said to me "don't show me problems, show me solutions" still how I work today.

[Banditbandit]

More the point, would the person you are today be mates with the person you were then?
I still see my old mates and its hard to have a conversation as our lives are so far opposite there is no common ground anymore and it becomes the same old "the old days" conversation.

I'd flip the question - would the person I was back then be mates with the person I am now .. NO!!!! Too straight!!!

I too have seen old mates ... nothing in common ... I've given up looking for old mates ..

[shrub]

More the point, would the person you are today be mates with the person you were then?
I still see my old mates and its hard to have a conversation as our lives are so far opposite there is no common ground anymore and it becomes the same old "the old days" conversation.

Pretty much bang on the money. About 10 years ago I ran into a guy who used to be one of my best mates. He still had his originals on and still had a long beard and long hair - only now thinning and grey. We went and had a beer together, and once we had talked about where different people were these days and what we were riding (him Harley, me Moto Guzzi) there wasn't much left to talk about. I looked at him and felt kind of sad, back in 81 he was a very cool guy but now he was just a fat old biker clinging to what he used to be. He still lived in the same house, still drank DB, still did a shitload of drugs and still worked as a labourer. He spent half the time moaning that "the boys" had mostly fucked off and gone straight (I'm guessing he moaned about me later that day) and nobody wanted to do the shit we used to do.

[avgas]

Life is a bitch for all, but for some it's harder than others.
I have a son who has Aspergers Syndrome and sometimes I despair as to what he will do with his life, and what would happen if his parents weren't there to support him. He's very intelligent, but very, very different - his lfe is always going to be harder than most peoples' and being told to "harden the fuck up" by ignorant people is never going to help.

Sorry you misinterpreted what I said. It was not harden the fuck up.
It was think of others, not just yourself.
The problem with people whom say they can't work is they only think of themselves. They make up every excuse in the book as to why they can't work. But never stop for a second and ask if someone has it harder than them.
What keeps me working even when I don't/can't/won't......is the fact that I know there are people out there who have it worse. I know there are people who need me to work.
Life IS a bitch for all. Do aspergers sufferers have it the worse so should be exempt?
Or do we all gain by giving them the opportunity to have a go?

Its not mental illness that holds people back. Its the attitudes of people. Most big companies now have diversity programs that actually encourage "different" people to apply. The job is basically theirs if they want it - where as the rest of us have to get it the hard way.

[Ocean1]

So clearly the difference between Aspies / ADHD and the rest of us is the that unemployed aspies/adhd believe they ALONE are hard done by, and its because they alone suffer all these injustices.

What? It’s not fair some people have better excuses? You're displaying a singularly stunning ignorance of the subject. Unemployed isn't an affliction, but I can assure you that the other two represent challenges to a normal life anyone not directly affected by would have absolutely no idea about.

for some it's harder than others.

Sorry you misinterpreted what I said. It was not harden the fuck up.

I read it the same way. Mate I get sick and fucking tired of people responding to someone saying they’ve got ADHD by suggesting that everyone’s got problems and there’s no reason those with ADHD or Aspergers shouldn’t behave normally the same as everyone else that’s having the odd bad day.

Hate your job? Change it. Don’t like the neighbourhood? Move. Understand this: these people CAN’T change their lot. And yes it fucking is harder for them, and yes that is a valid reason why there’s things they can’t do, and why some of the things they can do take a far higher than normal effort.

Seems to me like you need a bit of your own advice.

think of others, not just yourself.

[jonbuoy]

Does putting someone in a little diagnostic tick box and saying they have an XYZ´ism make things better or worse for them? Is it not just better to put them/yourself in the "a bit eccentric" (slightly mad - like we all are) bracket and get on trying to make things as normal as possible?

[Ocean1]

Does putting someone in a little diagnostic tick box and saying they have an XYZ´ism make things better or worse for them?

Yes. Demonstrably. The same way someone who's missing a limb is worse off. They're missing something too, it's just not as obvious.

Is it not just better to put them/yourself in the "a bit eccentric" (slightly mad - like we all are) bracket and get on trying to make things as normal as possible?

Also yes, capability and effort aren't related. ADHD turns out to have advantages at the creative end of any range of abilities, just don't expect them to pack their own bike for a tour.




Speaking of which...

[Usarka]

Its not mental illness that holds people back. Its the attitudes of people.

Ignoring the bog standard GP diagnosed depression (I'd probably agree with you on a lot of those cases), mental illness and/or injury can literally make people think differently (often worse).

That's like saying your bike's only running on 1/2 the cylinders and that it's attitude that it can't get up to open road speed limits for 8 hours a day.

[Banditbandit]

Does putting someone in a little diagnostic tick box and saying they have an XYZ´ism make things better or worse for them? Is it not just better to put them/yourself in the "a bit eccentric" (slightly mad - like we all are) bracket and get on trying to make things as normal as possible?

It depends on the person and the people around them ... I have seen it make things better and I have seen it make things worse ...

MY sister and her husband have wrapped their ADHD/Aspergers son in cotton wool .. and won't let him out of their sight (he's 21 ...) it's worse ...

I have seen a young woman diagnosed as Aspergers use it as an excuse for very bad behaviour .. "You can't punish me, I have Aspergers ..." much worse ...

I have also seen proper treatment and care make it much better ... My wife works with Aspergers children - the difference in their behaviour and attitutde changes markedly and they are much better for it ...

[avgas]

Ignoring the bog standard GP diagnosed depression (I'd probably agree with you on a lot of those cases), mental illness and/or injury can literally make people think differently (often worse).
That's like saying your bike's only running on 1/2 the cylinders and that it's attitude that it can't get up to open road speed limits for 8 hours a day.

Plenty of twins do the road speed
Likewise I know of lots of (insert areas here) disabled people that can do things better than me.
OAB can wheelie better than me.
Fact of the matter is I am not all there upstairs and my body is not the flashiest. But its these differences that I can leverage off, or I simply buildup something else to compensate.
But everyday I meet people that have it worse than me, and seeing them do stuff......motivates me to try harder.

As for depressed people....they are still handy. They are the Critical thinkers. OCD Depressed fellows make the best safety inspectors.

[avgas]

It depends on the person and the people around them ... I have seen it make things better and I have seen it make things worse ...
MY sister and her husband have werapped their ADHD/Aspergers son in cotton wool .. and won't let him out of their sight (he's 21 ...) it's worse ...
I have seen a young woman diagnosed as Aspergers use it as an excuse for very bad behaviour .. "You can't punish me, I have Aspergers ..." much worse ...
I have also seen proper treatment and care make it much better ... My wife works with Aspergers children - the difference in their behaviour and attitutde changes markedly and they are much better for it ...

You must spread rep......etc
But I like your thinking
Oh and pat your wife on the back for me.