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Thread: Kiwi, Aussie, & US Police Officers

  1. #1
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    Kiwi, Aussie, & US Police Officers

    Question:

    How do you tell the difference between a Kiwi Police Officer, an

    Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?


    Answer:

    First - Lets pose the following question:

    You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at
    night.

    Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and lunges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot, however you
    have only a split second to react before he reaches you.

    What do you do?

    KIWI POLICE OFFICER:

    Firstly the officer must consider the man's Human Rights.

    1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the
    law?

    3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    4) Am I dressed provocatively?

    5) Could I run away?

    6) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out
    of his hand?

    7) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong doings?

    8) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

    9) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
    does this send to society?

    10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
    wound me?

    11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to
    stab and kill me?

    12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if
    he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .

    13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does
    he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the
    loss of my family home?



    AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:

    BANG!


    AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG!

    'click'.... (Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!)

  2. #2
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    Whilst I find the answer amusingly correct the scenario is floored. If you are alone on duty on a deserted street late at night the answer is obviously that you are a kiwi cop, who else would send their police out alone at night?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneofsix View Post
    Whilst I find the answer amusingly correct the scenario is floored. If you are alone on duty on a deserted street late at night the answer is obviously that you are a kiwi cop, who else would send their police out alone at night?

    It's more fun if you dance on the ceiling.
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  4. #4
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    Good one.

    However, the American cop would have failed training because only 12 shots out of a possible 15 round standard magazine were fired (or 17 if non standard).

  5. #5
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    I thought with the American cop it would have been BANG! x 17 .. *click* *reload* Bang! x 17 again ...
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by gijoe1313 View Post
    I thought with the American cop it would have been BANG! x 17 .. *click* *reload* Bang! x 17 again ...
    Nah, reloading would require putting down the donut.

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    Speaking to one while in the USA, the introduction of the taser has actually helped. The offenders know they are more likely to be shot by the taser rather than a gun, simply because it's less lethal, and have ended up giving up more quickly. Odd I know, but sort of makes sense

    That said, we're looking into his car. The back seat is divided in half. One half is a cage for the offenders, the other half has a full on assault rifle locked into a holder. Our cops would never have that, but AOS would. There it's standard fair, along with a pistol and taser on his duty belt.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gremlin View Post
    Speaking to one while in the USA, the introduction of the taser has actually helped. The offenders know they are more likely to be shot by the taser rather than a gun, simply because it's less lethal, and have ended up giving up more quickly. Odd I know, but sort of makes sense

    That said, we're looking into his car. The back seat is divided in half. One half is a cage for the offenders, the other half has a full on assault rifle locked into a holder. Our cops would never have that, but AOS would. There it's standard fair, along with a pistol and taser on his duty belt.
    Yep, they certainly don't muck around over there.

  9. #9
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    This story is bollocks! NZ police don't get a Glock! They get a bloody stick!


    If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gremlin View Post
    Speaking to one while in the USA, the introduction of the taser has actually helped. The offenders know they are more likely to be shot by the taser rather than a gun, simply because it's less lethal, and have ended up giving up more quickly. Odd I know, but sort of makes sense
    Starting to get that effect here too now the tasers have been out for a bit.

    Of course we're not allowed to be quite as liberal with it's use as the US cops.
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  11. #11
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    Lets face it the NZ police are somewhat at a disadvantage,not only is it "shoot when you have a clear line of fire" they have to contend with "shoot when you have a clear line of fire and you have established that its not Maori".
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