That was a moderately amusing 8 minutes

[mashman]

They call themselves Creative Solutions and they know you have a virus on your hard drive. Oh no, WTF has happened, let's waste a moment or two to talk about why my PC hasn't alerted me shall we. Oh it's because you are affiliated with Microsoft and there's some hidden code on my hard drive that sends you messages about viruses. Ok, fair enough. What's the software called so that I can choose when to update the virus definitions manually. Oh, you have to connect to show me, can't you just tell me so that I can get a clearer understanding. No, oh that's disappointing. What does the virus do? It slows my laptop down does it, hmmmm, ok. So what do you need me to do? Go into internet explorer. Ok, there. And type in the following address. Oh hang on, which computer do you want me at as there's 4 in the house. Anyone it doesn't really matter. Oh right. But you know which computer has the problem. Yes. Which one is it. Oh you'd have to show me. Why can't you tell me. Because only our computer technicians know these things. Well I'm a computer technician. So type in the following address in the Address Bar. Not until you've told me which computer has the problem and have explained what the fix is. Oh you won't be fixing my PC, fair enough, but you said you knew what the problem was earlier. I know I know technician, but I'm a technician too and should be able to diagnose my own PC's if you tell me which one it is. They have names. Oh, ok, I'll type in that address into my address bar. www, aha, dot, aha, a for apple, m for mother, m for mother... you just said that, oh there's 2 m's, ok, y for yankee, y for yankee, dot com... and what'll happen when I hit enter. No no no, I'm not just going to hit enter until you tell me what's going to happen. Ok, I'll connect to your technician. Wait a minute, do you mean open up access to my computer for your technician to poke around. Sorry I don't like that. Ok ok, don't shout, but I'm not hitting enter until you've told me which PC has the virus. Yes and I'm a technician too. No I won't do it just because you've told me too, have you ever heard of the phrase the customer is always right. Stop shouting at me, I won't hit enter ... dooooooooooooooooooooo hello, hello.

Damn I larfed and larfed, she got a might tad pissy

[BoristheBiter]

They call themselves Creative Solutions and they know you have a virus on your hard drive. Oh no, WTF has happened, let's waste a moment or two to talk about why my PC hasn't alerted me shall we. Oh it's because you are affiliated with Microsoft and there's some hidden code on my hard drive that sends you messages about viruses. Ok, fair enough. What's the software called so that I can choose when to update the virus definitions manually. Oh, you have to connect to show me, can't you just tell me so that I can get a clearer understanding. No, oh that's disappointing. What does the virus do? It slows my laptop down does it, hmmmm, ok. So what do you need me to do? Go into internet explorer. Ok, there. And type in the following address. Oh hang on, which computer do you want me at as there's 4 in the house. Anyone it doesn't really matter. Oh right. But you know which computer has the problem. Yes. Which one is it. Oh you'd have to show me. Why can't you tell me. Because only our computer technicians know these things. Well I'm a computer technician. So type in the following address in the Address Bar. Not until you've told me which computer has the problem and have explained what the fix is. Oh you won't be fixing my PC, fair enough, but you said you knew what the problem was earlier. I know I know technician, but I'm a technician too and should be able to diagnose my own PC's if you tell me which one it is. They have names. Oh, ok, I'll type in that address into my address bar. www, aha, dot, aha, a for apple, m for mother, m for mother... you just said that, oh there's 2 m's, ok, y for yankee, y for yankee, dot com... and what'll happen when I hit enter. No no no, I'm not just going to hit enter until you tell me what's going to happen. Ok, I'll connect to your technician. Wait a minute, do you mean open up access to my computer for your technician to poke around. Sorry I don't like that. Ok ok, don't shout, but I'm not hitting enter until you've told me which PC has the virus. Yes and I'm a technician too. No I won't do it just because you've told me too, have you ever heard of the phrase the customer is always right. Stop shouting at me, I won't hit enter ... dooooooooooooooooooooo hello, hello.

Damn I larfed and larfed, she got a might tad pissy

You must be getting soft mate, I got them for a whole 10 min before they hung up.

[mashman]

You must be getting soft mate, I got them for a whole 10 min before they hung up.

heh... it was my first concerted effort... I know I shoulda gone into why the URL given wasn't a subdirectory off their domain and probably shoulda made more of which PC it was etc... hindsight eh... but I'll remember those for next time.

[Indiana_Jones]

How come I never get fun phone calls like this lol

-Indy

[SMOKEU]

I'm still waiting for my call from Microsoft. I plan on starting up my Linux VM and then asking them where IE is.

[Bald Eagle]

Yep virtualbox on my macbook - would be good for a laugh but they never seem to ring me either.

[Ntoxcated]

I sounded concerned then asked them to hold for a second while I fired up the PC. Then I just left the phone on the kitchen bench. I have no idea how long they waited

[yachtie10]

I sounded concerned then asked them to hold for a second while I fired up the PC. Then I just left the phone on the kitchen bench. I have no idea how long they waited

I had three of these calls in a week (but none since)
will do this next time but will put on speaker phone an make computer noises like im working

[Grumph]

Woman with an Indian accent ?

I can't be arsed wasting time on them - just kept saying we've sold our computer because of all the scamming calls...
Haven't been rung for weeks now.

[pzkpfw]

I sounded concerned then asked them to hold for a second while I fired up the PC. Then I just left the phone on the kitchen bench. I have no idea how long they waited

I was playing Civ II last time I got one of these calls. So when she said she'd detected a problem on my computer I said "let me check" and stuck the phone near my mouse so she could hear me click-click-tap-click-tap-tap-click as I continued to play for five minutes.

When I finally picked up the phone again she was saying "hello? hello?", and then when I asked her how she knew my PC had a problem she hung up on me.

[nadroj]

I've had a few of these calls - the mrs walked in on the conclusion of one similar after i had strung them along & I wasn't using pleasant language at the time. They seem to like when females answer as I have several hangups when I answer but about an hour later when they ring again the mrs answers then passes the phone to me for more entertainment. Both male and female operators have rung and they have made all sorts of threats to "my family" after wasting considerable time in the hope of a con.

[iYRe]

Hehe.. I was going around to a customers to fix his PC, and he had just got off the phone with them. He is an old fella, and even he knew it was a scam. He is also a retired judge, so his reaction was quite interesting.. Although, since they aren't in NZ, there isnt much that can be done..

Last time they called me, I said "well, that's interesting, let me find a spare machine and install windows on it so we can see.." They said "ok" - geez. That would have been an interesting wait for an hour to install it :P

[BoristheBiter]

Hehe.. I was going around to a customers to fix his PC, and he had just got off the phone with them. He is an old fella, and even he knew it was a scam. He is also a retired judge, so his reaction was quite interesting.. Although, since they aren't in NZ, there isnt much that can be done..

Last time they called me, I said "well, that's interesting, let me find a spare machine and install windows on it so we can see.." They said "ok" - geez. That would have been an interesting wait for an hour to install it :P

I said it might take a while as i am on dial up and when someone phones me the internet drops out.
then asked him to repeat all the instructions, around 4 times.

[Indiana_Jones]

awwww me and my mrs are waiting for a call lol

-Indy

[cs363]

Damn I larfed and larfed, she got a might tad pissy

Yep, been there done that - twice now. I've recently moved house and have a new phone number, so I might get lucky and get to piss them off for a third time!

Keep up the good work folks