Todays humour...

**v.ros`** · 21st July 2005, 09:52

There is no escaping it, is there, these soccer players are an
intelligent bunch of blokes ;-)))

'My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'
David Beckham

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the
league.' Mark Viduka

'We lost because we didn't win.'
Ronaldo

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of
bed at the end of the day.' Neville Southall

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.'
Ronnie Whelan

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on
the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at
Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he
was out there playing.' Ade Akinbiyi

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
Stuart Pearce

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well,
he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best
manager I've ever had.' David Beckham

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of
which were disputable.' Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life and
hopefully after that as well.' Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win
the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week,
but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' Stan Collymore

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' Ian
Wright

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
Ugo Ehiogu

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I
live in Middlesborough.' Jonathan Woodgate

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my
right.' Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
Ian Rush

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 Internationals
out there today.' Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my
right sock.' Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what
religion yet.' David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukranians will be more
European.' Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' Mitchell
Thomas

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.'
Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.'
Johnny Giles

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it
worked.' Richard Rufus

' There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in
between.' Gary Lineker

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
Thierry Henry

**Riff Raff** · 21st July 2005, 10:31

Thank you - I'll be laughing all day over these!

**Coyote** · 21st July 2005, 10:49

Good ol David

"Must spread the reputation" - Sorry v.ros'

**bugjuice** · 21st July 2005, 11:01

gotta love soccer players... fukin hate them

**Coyote** · 21st July 2005, 11:04

Originally Posted by bugjuice

gotta love soccer players... fukin hate them

Better than Rugby players, mass orgies in the middle of the game, fingers up peoples arses and they even wear make up

**v.ros`** · 21st July 2005, 11:43

Originally Posted by alarumba

Good ol David

"Must spread the reputation" - Sorry v.ros'

wat do ya mean..? why u saying sorry to me..?

**bugjuice** · 21st July 2005, 11:47

Originally Posted by alarumba

Better than Rugby players, mass orgies in the middle of the game, fingers up peoples arses and they even wear make up

yeah, see that's the comprimise - football players get stretchered off in tears with a broken toe nail, where as rugby players beat the living shit out of each other, just for a ball, and when their arms break, they want to be patched up, so they can carry on, or have stitches put in on the side line, and they go back out and play.. that's fukin hard man..
but by the same token, tis a bit ghay jumping on each other like that, and hugging each other, and sticking fingers in places that were only meant to be one-way..

I'm still for rugga tho, pro-soccer is for puffs without brain cells.. Not saying rugby players are any smarter tho, and I don't mind kicking a ball around myself, just people like Beckham really wind me up..

**v.ros`** · 21st July 2005, 11:50

hahaha check this joke out: WARNING: Mite offend some people....

"Whats the difference between getting a speeding ticket and going down on a woman?

when you go down on a woman you can see the cunt behind the bush"

**MSTRS:Me** · 21st July 2005, 11:54

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now
she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear
heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost
a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out
what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.

**bugjuice** · 21st July 2005, 12:04

proof that football is gay.

**v.ros`** · 21st July 2005, 12:08

OMG that was the funniest clip ive ever seen mate..

not sure y but the forum aint allowing me to giva ya any reps LOL..
its says i need to spread my reps before giving it to u.. LMFAO @ that tooo..

lol thanx for the clip mate _b

**Coyote** · 21st July 2005, 14:06

Originally Posted by bugjuice

yeah, see that's the comprimise - football players get stretchered off in tears with a broken toe nail, where as rugby players beat the living shit out of each other, just for a ball, and when their arms break, they want to be patched up, so they can carry on, or have stitches put in on the side line, and they go back out and play.. that's fukin hard man..

Bullshit. I was a soccer goal keep. I would dive into people to get the ball. I've had several metal sprigs inbedded in my stomach and legs and i've pulled them out and kept on playing. A broken nail means nothing.

**yungatart** · 21st July 2005, 14:20

Soccer players-pussies, rugby players-wooses, petanque-now there is a sport that is tough! you ever tried to throw one of those balls without spilling a drop of your precious wine- takes real skill, does that!

**Fryin Finn** · 21st July 2005, 16:34

Originally Posted by alarumba

Bullshit. I was a soccer goal keep. I would dive into people to get the ball. I've had several metal sprigs inbedded in my stomach and legs and i've pulled them out and kept on playing. A broken nail means nothing.

Yeah I played soccer and broke a goalies finger once - teach him not to drop the ball