HELL'S PIZZA, can go to HELL!

**StoneChucker** · 9th December 2004, 11:34

Well, feeling really shitty lately, when I got home from another late night at work. Decided to get some pizza from Hells. Called them up, and I started to try talk and they just hang up on me. I wasn't quiet, I was mumbling like I normally do while trying to force a few coherant words out, and they fucking hang up. So I drive down there, and stand at the counter for about 2 mins, and don't get served. SO... I just pissed off and bought some Burger Wisconsin (which is FANtastic btw).

Now I didn't know that Hells Pizza had a policy of NOT SERVING people with speech, er, impediments? I guess they don't serve disabled people, colored or old people either. So, if you're absolutely perfect, you should have no problem buying a pizza from them.

I plan to write a shitty letter to whoever receives all the shitty letters at Hell, and tell them about it. And, when they send me some poxy free fries vouchers, I'll post them back, and tell them exactly where they can shove them.

After seeing Supersize Me (Maccy D's doco), I've never and will never go back to Mac D's. After THIS incident, I will NEVER buy a hells pizza, ever again.

All the staff can go to hell.

They seriously could have pushed me over the edge last night. I was really upset, from a whole host of things, and this was like the last straw.

Oh, it was Hells, Island Bay.

**JohnBoy** · 9th December 2004, 11:38

Back in the day (if i my memory is correct) when i lived in j ville we got our hells from Khandahla (i think?) they were always spot on. i have had hells from other outlets and i must say that there must be very little quality control cause welly ones were heaps nicer than Tauranga and palmy!
i suppose its just the nature of your local beast.

**Hitcher** · 9th December 2004, 11:55

I empathise with people with speech impediments, being a stammerer myself. I've learned to cope over the years but there is the odd occasion when I get thrown and have great difficulty getting a sentence started.

A lot of people associate speech difficulties with mental sluggishness and decrepitude. Silly fucks. I do my best not to perpetuate this myth!

Those of you who watch "Eating Media Lunch" may remember an episode a couple of months back when they got a guy to put on a good stammer and ring talkback radio hosts. The results were, well, interesting...

**Paul in NZ** · 9th December 2004, 11:55

Stoney...

Take a chill pill son... I'm sorry you had a bad experience but it seems to me they are also copping the flak for a few other things not quite right at the moment eh? Calm down...

There is a gap between your expectation and their reality. Pizza places don't exactly pay brain surgeon money and the management expect a hell of a lot for the pittance they pay. No wonder the staff are not lways that motivated...

Add in all the uncontrolled little hellions that try to emulate Bart Simpson and make numerous prank calls to places like this and you can see where things start to unfurl.

Write a nice, considered, letter out lining what went wrong and asking if they have any constructive suggestions that would allow you to easily order a pizza over the phone. They don't want to miss out on business but they will respond to a nice letter better than a frothing gurgling one...

Paul N

ps Wheres those knee sliders dude? You want me to pick them up tonight? I will be at work until 6pm or so and have the car.

**bungbung** · 9th December 2004, 12:23

Hell Pizza is available online at www.hell.co.nz

**Quasievil** · 9th December 2004, 12:34

Dont worry big guy, theres lots of love out here for ya mate

and besides Ive had the same thing happen to me probably 6 times in the last couple of months so yours is nothing mate. you wanna try ordering a meal in Tehran or in Jeddah, those pricks wrote the book on arrogance, I might have to polish up on some Arabic huh ?

**duckman** · 9th December 2004, 12:42

Originally Posted by Quasievil

Dont worry big guy, theres lots of love out here for ya mate

and besides Ive had the same thing happen to me probably 6 times in the last couple of months so yours is nothing mate. you wanna try ordering a meal in Tehran or in Jeddah, those pricks wrote the book on arrogance, I might have to polish up on some Arabic huh ?

shwey shwey, Mufi Muskula Habibi

**Quasievil** · 9th December 2004, 12:48

Originally Posted by duckman

shwey shwey, Mufi Muskula Habibi

right smart arse you can come next time as my interpretuer and you will have to drink lots of beer and be tortured by all the beautiful arabic women

**Devil** · 9th December 2004, 13:10

Pfft, hell and Burger Wisconsin.
You people need Burger Fuel. mmmmm Godamn WHY ISNT THERE ONE IN THE CBD???

**jrandom** · 9th December 2004, 13:15

Originally Posted by Devil

Pfft, hell and Burger Wisconsin.
You people need Burger Fuel. mmmmm Godamn WHY ISNT THERE ONE IN THE CBD???

Yes, BF is indeed much much better than Burger Wisconsin.

Funnily enough, Hell and Burger Fuel are right next door to each other on Lincoln Rd in Henderson.

I did the online Hell ordering thing couple of nights back, they turned up in good time from Henderson even though I'm out of the official delivery zone (they don't 'do' Te Atatu Peninsula, WTF? but they delivered to me anyway, and I didn't even have to invoke the Wrath of Bruce) and quality was pretty good.

SC, your experience probably shouldn't be a reflection on the place itself, it should just get whichever employee took your order severely reprimanded or fired. Unfortunately you're never going to be able to pin down who it was, but the right letter will undoubtedly get the staff rounded up and Talked To about their phone manners.

**Hitcher** · 9th December 2004, 13:29

Originally Posted by jrandom

Te Atatu Peninsula

A key part of my famous and staggeringly popular "Hitcher's state house tour of Auckland."

**Motu** · 9th December 2004, 14:06

Have a look now - 'you can see the water' oops,double the price of your exstate house.New subdivisions in whatever is the latest colour in stuco...

**StoneChucker** · 9th December 2004, 14:08

I know who it was. A female answered, and when I went down there, there was only one female there. Shouldn't be hard to look at the duty roster. Stupid, daft, cow.

And Paul, sorry but I've had enough. You all have no idea how fed up I am with this (speech), and there is no excuse(for bad phone manners). I do admit, the actual product from Hells is Damn nice, which is a pity since I won't be going back.

I've never had Burger Fuel, but it was have to be amazing to beat BW

Thanks Ola, but I already knew about the online Hell ordering.

Did I mention, I have to go back to the bike shop???!!!!! Or that I think every day about releasing a toxic nerve agent at work, just for a laugh?

My only solice will be on XMAS eve night, when I get to beat that fat bastard (yes, yes, I realise the irony in my statement) that comes down my chimney, to death with my fire poker!!!!!