Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts..and NO I don't worry about idiot comments from people who I don't know and in the end don't matter to me
I can share this because we are through it and I hope that it will serve to encourage others who may be in a similar position.
What I learned was that though it was hard to do so - engaging in the FULL justice process was both useful for me and it ensured he didn't 'get off lightly' - of course I believe he did get off lightly anyway but at least through my efforts I have ensured he serves more tha 40% of his sentence, he is listed on the sex offenders register and ALL his friends and ex colleagues have been made aware- also his brothers and sisters have been aprised of the full horrific nature of what their 'well regarded' brother got up to.
Of course this will have an affect on us for the remainder of our lives but I feel at peace having done all that I can to try to ensure that he is held accountable and that he is atleast exposed to the kind of treatment that might hopefully enable him to be challenged on what he has done and the devastation he caused (outside of his own now screwed up life) in the ultimate hope that he WON'T ever do anything like this again.
A wise man sent me a PM last night saying that we have to stamp this shit out with a spotlight...he is so right!
Silence is their ally.
If you can/do read the blog you'll feel a rather tortured, tough and painful journey but know that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
We are much stronger as a family unit now and our relationships are much much tighter. We are now a force of three to be reckoned with and though another way to this would have been far preferable it should be comforting to know that out of all that nastiness something beautiful has grown, thrived and is continuing to build.
I love my son and I love my husband and without them both I could not have had the strength to do what I had to all the way throughout - that was standing up against the father who had always been my best friend and number one supporter within a system that chews up victims and spits them out.
Also on another positive note there is very little 'uncontrollable' anger now...just a faint taste of sadness that wells up now and then, mostly on birthdays, fathers day (unsurprisingly) and christmas - but when it happens I lose myself in my boys and my Monster and I'm reminded of just how strong this journey has made me.
As I've said - I release it and I focus on all that is good and great in our lives.
If anyone is in need of a supportive 'ear' you are welcome to contact me.
Kind regards everyone
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Originally Posted by TrentNz
You're an inspiration, I wish you and your family all the luck in the world
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