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Thread: Wants dating advice from strangers on the internet

  1. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stirts View Post
    No, that is my perving advice. My rooting advice would be, don't wait for him to suggest doggy-style - a good woman will roll over and present. Oh and don't qweef on the first root ... it is bad manners.

    And what is this dating thing you speak of? Foreplay that costs money
    If ya gonna bang some sheila doggy style then ya gonna pump a fair whack of air up there, So if ya not wanting Queef, then ya better avoid that position lol.

  2. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newbi View Post
    If ya gonna bang some sheila doggy style then ya gonna pump a fair whack of air up there, So if ya not wanting Queef, then ya better avoid that position lol.
    Only if you have a bucket fanny!
    No body move... I dropped my brain

  3. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stirts View Post
    Only if you have a bucket fanny!
    Hahah, or a really small cock!

  4. #139
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newbi View Post
    Hahah, or a really small cock!
    nice! I was going to say that but couldn't be bothered
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  5. #140
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red39 View Post
    Lol. Had to go back and re-read your post. Is the first line your usual pick up line? Not bad for an Englishman

    Ha! Chat up line. Moi? Nooooo, I'm too shy for such ploys. I have been known to ask a date if she would like to come back to my place & f@#k like a bunny if the chemistry is there. Works surprisingly well.

  6. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    Ha! Chat up line. Moi? Nooooo, I'm too shy for such ploys. I have been known to ask a date if she would like to come back to my place & f@#k like a bunny if the chemistry is there. Works surprisingly well.
    Holy shit...can't believe that line works. You must have the looks of an Adonis No point beating about the bush though. Hold on, pretty much guessing you do that too eh

  7. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red39 View Post
    Holy shit...can't believe that line works. You must have the looks of an Adonis No point beating about the bush though. Hold on, pretty much guessing you do that too eh
    Exactly what I thought when it accidentally slipped out the first time. I figure that when you reach the point in a date when "that" question is on your mind, pheromones floating about & your date is showing a few tells, playing with the hair, not blinking very often, leaning closer, tilting the head to show the neck etc then you might as well state what your thinking before you get too pi$$ed.

    The only resemblance to Adonis I have is the dirty broken look of a 2000 year old statue.

  8. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    Exactly what I thought when it accidentally slipped out the first time. I figure that when you reach the point in a date when "that" question is on your mind, pheromones floating about & your date is showing a few tells, playing with the hair, not blinking very often, leaning closer, tilting the head to show the neck etc then you might as well state what your thinking before you get too pi$$ed.

    The only resemblance to Adonis I have is the dirty broken look of a 2000 year old statue.

    Aha, you been reading Body Language for Beginners again? if your date isn't blinking very often could be that the drugs you slipped in her drink are starting to take effect!! You're pretty much guaranteed a root then anyway

  9. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red39 View Post
    Aha, you been reading Body Language for Beginners again? if your date isn't blinking very often could be that the drugs you slipped in her drink are starting to take effect!! You're pretty much guaranteed a root then anyway
    Nah, I prefer bunny action to necrophilia.
    Forgot to mention pupils dilating, colour rising in the cheeks, plumping of the lips, open body position etc. All caused by unbridled & overwhelming lust for some hot bunny love.

  10. #145
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    Not to mention the wet patch on the barstool.

  11. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newbi View Post
    Not to mention the wet patch on the barstool.
    That's only obvious when you go to the loo & usually ends up with " get your coat, you've pulled".

  12. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    Nah, I prefer bunny action to necrophilia.
    Forgot to mention pupils dilating, colour rising in the cheeks, plumping of the lips, open body position etc. All caused by unbridled & overwhelming lust for some hot bunny love.
    Or they might have overdosed on cocaine prior to the date......just sayin

    But you're probably right, it'll be the imminent prospect of hot rabbit sex...do you have long ears and a short fluffy tail or is it your date that does?

  13. #148
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red39 View Post
    Or they might have overdosed on cocaine prior to the date......just sayin

    But you're probably right, it'll be the imminent prospect of hot rabbit sex...do you have long ears and a short fluffy tail or is it your date that does?
    No, but I can crack my shirt tail like a whip.

    I wait until we know each other a bit better before I suggest cos-play. My favourite is the tank commander & the nun. I blame the Sound of Music for that particular fetish.

  14. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by george formby View Post
    No, but I can crack my shirt tail like a whip.

    I wait until we know each other a bit better before I suggest cos-play. My favourite is the tank commander & the nun. I blame the Sound of Music for that particular fetish.
    Don't tell me......you also like making dresses out of curtains....and you like your dates to call you "Maria". Seriously GF, the more you post, the more peculiar you get .....not necessarily a bad thing though

  15. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red39 View Post
    Don't tell me......you also like making dresses out of curtains....and you like your dates to call you "Maria". Seriously GF, the more you post, the more peculiar you get .....not necessarily a bad thing though
    T'is the interweb. In reality I have a comb over, a subscription to steam train monthly & a penchant for loud cardigans & wool lined slippers. It's getting so bad I'm looking at putting a sidecar on my bike.
    Last edited by george formby; 9th March 2012 at 12:15. Reason: spelling tourettes

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