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Thread: What's your star sign?

  1. #1
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    What's your star sign?

    ARIES
    You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

    TAURUS
    Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

    GEMINI
    Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

    CANCER
    You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

    LEO
    The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

    VIRGO
    You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

    LIBRA
    You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

    SCORPIO
    You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

    SAGITTARIUS
    You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.

    CAPRICORN
    You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

    AQUARIUS
    You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

    PISCES
    You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

  2. #2
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    Am LIBRA but WTF!!
    You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

  3. #3
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    AQUARIUS
    You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.


    Oh for Fucks sake - and I ride a HONDA - is there no hope for me?
    What should I tell the wife and kids?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    AQUARIUS
    Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.


    What should I tell the wife and kids?
    "Honey, we're getting a dog."

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    AQUARIUS
    You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

    Oh for Fucks sake - and I ride a HONDA - is there no hope for me?
    What should I tell the wife and kids?
    Mate, you're from Christchurch! This should come as no surprise!

  6. #6
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    SAGITTARIUS
    You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.


    What the fuck?

  7. #7
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    I'm an Aries

    I have masturbated at a wedding

    I was 14 years old and fancied one of the bridesmaids

    She showed me her knockers in the car park

    I went behind a Ford Escort van and gave the monkey a good spanking

    Never saw the bridesmaid again

    Ruined my new paisley boxer shorts

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I'm an Aries

    I have masturbated
    I was 14
    She showed me her knockers
    I gave the monkey a good spanking
    Never again
    Ruined my shorts
    ...you horny little goat

  9. #9
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    Gemini.
    That sounds about right!
    Some people just can't seem to comprehend that they do not have the right to be unoffended in their lives.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    Watching your wife giving birth is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fatt Max View Post
    I can roll a turd that reaches 15kg before it snaps off my arse

  10. #10
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    Bourbon

    10char
    Quote Originally Posted by FlangMaster
    I had a strange dream myself. You know that game some folk play on the streets where they toss coins at the wall and what not? In my dream they were tossing my semi hardened stool at the wall. I shit you not.

  11. #11
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    CAPRICORN
    You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

    AQUARIUS
    You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

    I'm on the cusp so looks like i'm really fucked up, I own a labrador, I regularly wear womens clothes AND I ride a Honda!!

  12. #12
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    pisces.

    You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world.

    Sounds fair..
    Quote Originally Posted by sil3nt View Post
    Fkn crack up. Most awkward interviewee ever i reckon haha.

  13. #13
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    I'm Aquarius
    I have 11 dogs. 3 died. I tried to put fishnets on but they just kick it off.
    Signature!?!

  14. #14
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    CAPRICORN
    You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. - Yup fully agree with that, and super duper nice too, lots of people tell me so.

    A mean self-centered cunt - That would be Bitch to you!

    and a closet homosexual. - Nope you are confusing me with AQUARIUS!

    Your best friend is probably an altar boy. - Again No... I am my own best friend

  15. #15
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    [QUOTE
    VIRGO
    You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

    LOL i do enjoy good things
    and i also ride hondas
    Steel and Bullets
    <! !>

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