I'm genuinely interested in the issues you raise but I'm also not sure what you see as ideal. Villages within cities? High rise apartment buildings with double parking and storage facilities (to mimic a large double garage)? Condominiums? Four story walkups?
No city in a democracy (that I know of) has ideal urban planning. The only place this can happen is in an autocracy (essentially dictatorship) where the state has complete control. China, Russia, North Korea etc.
Brazilia is the poster child for modern central planning of a city. I remember learning about it at school and it sounded great. Unfortunately it is regarded as a failure. The citizens don't like it.
Which leaves us with laissez faire organic growth - exactly what you are kicking against. And I'm not even slightly convinced people are forced into the developers dream. People buy and live where they can. The better-off build their own dreams and thank goodness they do - they inspire others.
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