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Thread: My writing

  1. #1
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    My writing

    Well I have a few poems and stuff that I though a few of you might want to read. Feedback would be nice too...

    Sacrifice By Fire - Opfer durch Feuer

    Deutschland, Deutschland, über alles,
    Words, cold, heartless, callous,
    Kristallnacht, Aryanization,
    Deeds, actions, beyond explanation.

    Ausweis, Ausweis, alles einordnen,
    Auschwitz, Dachau, Bergen-Belsen,
    Jew, Slav, Gypsy, Gay,
    Yesterday here, gone today.

    ARBEIT MACHT FREI,
    Words, false hope, vicious lie,
    You, life, meaningless here,
    Gestapo, Einsatzgruppen, Bundeswehr.

    Ghetto, cattle truck, camp, shower,
    Goering, Final Solution, abuse of power,
    In line, naked, morning frost,
    Sacrifice by fire; Holocaust.

    Somewhere In The Night

    Somewhere in the night a child cries,
    A woman weeps and someone dies.
    Somewhere in the night, humanity hides.

    Somewhere in the night , a soul screams,
    As people fade and die, lost in dreams.
    Somewhere in the night, reality lives.

    Somewhere in the night loneliness dwells,
    As people die, no sounding bells.
    Somewhere in the night, she dies alone.

    Somewhere in the night ...

    Where is the light?

    A tribute to...

    I took a trip into a different world...
    I heard things not meant to be heard...
    I saw colors not meant to be seen for those with eyes...

    Lights flashed, bright swirls of colors clashed.
    Whispers, sounds and noises were put into one.
    The world melted as though it had never begun...

    Time passed, people changed...
    At once it was night, before long it was day.
    Time went by as though it were yesterday.

    It was cold and it was warm...
    The world sparkled...then went on fire.
    It was summer but the mountains melted as though it were
    a cold winter day...

    I walked into the spinning tunnel of dreams...
    Memories I'll have, dreams I'll make and journeys I'll talk...

    Kids vs. Society

    You say I'm too young to love,
    And I'm much too young to swear.
    You say I'm too young to cry
    When someone doesn't care.

    You say I'm too young to drive,
    You say I'm too young to vote,
    Not old enough to think.
    You say I'm too young to work

    And I'm much too young to have a say.
    You say I'm too young to argue,
    I'll never get my way.

    You say it's up to me
    To make the world great.
    How can I possibly do this
    If I'm too young to participate?

    For Us There Is No Death

    For us there is no death.
    Rest here merely bones.
    Around you love's in flower,
    Zero though our breath,
    Etched into these stones.
    Read and feel its power.

    For One Day

    The old man of the sea,
    Stares wistfully towards the shore.
    His grey eyes twinkling,
    Matching the colour,
    Of the granite rock,
    Upon which he sits.

    He sits wishing,
    For one day only,
    To be free,
    Of the storm filled seas.
    And to walk, proud like a man,
    With the sand beneath his feet.

    Fantasy and Reality

    Two little girls play pretend,
    In the field of imagination.
    Sleeping Beauty shuts her eyes,
    In the grassy dew of childhood.
    Suddenly she screams!
    Tiny ants bite her tender skin.
    She runs home to the arms,
    Of her Mother,
    And soaks in a bed,
    Of soothing water.

    Two little girls, now grown,
    Live in the field of reality.
    Snow White’s beauty sparkles
    In the mirror of marriage.
    Suddenly she screams!
    Infidelity tears her tender skin.
    She cannot run home,
    To a Mother long gone.
    So lies in a pool,
    Of broken dreams.

    I wake alone

    Fighting once again at night
    to scared to close my eyes
    Cold, afraid and lonely
    are the dreams in which she dies
    The pain upon her loving face
    visions of the other place
    angels sing a sombre tune
    I wake again alone

    Snow

    Gently drifting down
    Winter flurries are coming
    Tickling my cold face

    Old Rob Cheer

    Old Rob Cheer was a cheeky fat man
    who owned a green dog and a green frying pan
    he awoke one night
    to his own worst fright
    and discovered his wife was a man!

    Hedgehog Vs. Motorway

    I must cross the road,
    Cars whizzing past,
    Don’t want to get flattened,
    Had better move fast.

    Walking the tarmac,
    Saw Uncle Stan,
    Flat as a pancake,
    Squashed by the postman.

    Between the front wheels,
    And over a bump,
    I wish I could run,
    Like Forest Gump.

    I’m as sly as a fox,
    As quick as a cat,
    Oh I’m so brilliant,
    Uh oh…splat!

    Hedgehog was brave,
    Although maybe nuts,
    Everyone can see,
    That he sure had guts!

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  2. #2
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    Oh and one more...

    Set Free

    The gentle look in your soft eyes
    Your innocent smile plays a soft tune to me
    Its so peaceful everytime I see it I am set free

    I know that one is a bit soppy but oh well.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  3. #3
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    I don't understand the first one... but the rest are great, I like your style of writting... kinda different from my own...

    Ever tried to get any of your poems published?
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by placidfemme
    I don't understand the first one... but the rest are great, I like your style of writting... kinda different from my own...

    Ever tried to get any of your poems published?
    You write???? Woah! Come on then. Let us see some.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  5. #5
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    Translation

    Here's a translation for the first one...

    Sacrifice By Fire

    Germany, Germany, over everything,
    Words, cold, heartless, callous,
    Crystal night, Aryanization,
    Deeds, actions, beyond explanation.

    Document of identification, document of identification, everything arranged,
    Auschwitz, Dachau, mountain Belsen,
    Jew, Slav, Gypsy, Gay,
    Yesterday here, gone today.

    WORK POWER FREE,
    Words, false hope, vicious lies,
    You, life, meaningless here,
    Gestapo, groups of employments, German Federal Armed Forces.

    Ghetto, cattle truck, camp, shower,
    Goering, Final Solution, abuse of power,
    In line, naked, morning frost,
    Sacrifice by fire; Holocaust.

    Personally I like the half and half one better as it gives more meaning and a sense of actually being there or something. Just my preference.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  6. #6
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    Woo hoo! Joined-up words. Stanza. Rhyme.

    But no sonnet? What's wrong with iambic pentameter?
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  7. #7
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    Oh for a poet—for a beacon bright
    To rift this changless glimmer of dead gray;
    To spirit back the Muses, long astray,
    And flush Parnassus with a newer light;
    To put these little sonnet-men to flight
    Who fashion, in a shrewd mechanic way,
    Songs without souls, that flicker for a day,
    To vanish in irrevocable night.

    What does it mean, this barren age of ours?
    Here are the men, the women, and the flowers,
    The seasons, and the sunset, as before.
    What does it mean? Shall there not one arise
    To wrench one banner from the western skies,
    And mark it with his name forevermore?
    "Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitcher
    Oh for a poet—for a beacon bright
    To rift this changless glimmer of dead gray;
    To spirit back the Muses, long astray,
    And flush Parnassus with a newer light;
    To put these little sonnet-men to flight
    Who fashion, in a shrewd mechanic way,
    Songs without souls, that flicker for a day,
    To vanish in irrevocable night.

    What does it mean, this barren age of ours?
    Here are the men, the women, and the flowers,
    The seasons, and the sunset, as before.
    What does it mean? Shall there not one arise
    To wrench one banner from the western skies,
    And mark it with his name forevermore?
    Not that I understand some of that but nice!

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by XhardxcoreX
    Not that I understand some of that but nice!
    A thorough understanding of the language is quite useful in order to be able to write good prose.
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  10. #10
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    My poems arn't anything like yours, so I'll only post my fav's

    This first one is called "What do you see" and it's the only poem I've had published.

    I knocked on a hollow door
    And heard the echo's of an empty plea
    I saw a lion running free
    And saw myself begging to be
    I've seen the world with eyes of a lost soul
    Reflections of what wouldn’t be
    I've seen the dance of blue smoke rising
    Twisting, bending, undenying
    I drowned in fumes I willingly inhaled
    Fighting for breath, searching to no avail
    I cried bitter tears that burned my cheeks
    Blurred days turn into blurred weeks
    I've seen the world tinted red
    So I closed my eyes and saw blood instead
    I get scared of what runs through my head
    Blocking out the words I said
    I lost myself in a song
    Singing quietly as I go along
    I look in the mirror, and don't recognize what I see
    Who is that? It can't be me
    Look into my eyes
    What do you see?


    This one is called "Numb"

    I’m not sure how to start this
    And I don’t know how it’ll end,
    But I need to put this pen to paper
    And bleed my heart out through its ink.
    Somehow I’m not a part of this,
    I don’t think I fit in.
    It’s like a story with no ending,
    Caged reality locked in my soul.
    I’m trapped and I’m tied.
    I’m all twisted inside.
    You wouldn’t believe me if I told you
    And knowing this I hide.
    Living life from a broken perspective,
    Through a thousand shards of glass,
    And this is where I unravel,
    Some scattered words in time
    This is me undone
    Some pieces are missing
    Lost somewhere in my rhyme
    And there’s a hole deep inside of me
    Where everything is numb


    this one is called "Locked Away"

    I’m not sleeping, just laying in my bed
    The airs not moving through our lives today
    It’s calling through the echoes of yesterday
    Dissected a hundred twisted ways
    Replaced by you in careless disarray
    Lost in another dimension on nothing
    Blind to the world I’ve left behind
    A ghost of yesterday with pumping veins
    Not wanting to be rescued, so happy wasting away
    But I’m not sleeping, I’m just locked away


    This one isn't a complete original so I havn't named it

    My beautiful one you betrayed me
    You've slain my heart and left it torn
    Deceived for I trusted in you
    Deeper than I thought I'd ever go

    Try I do with all my might
    Defeated, unfinished, lost my sight
    Standing here in a barren land
    Sinking further into the sand

    Today’s hurt from yesterday’s sorrow
    So much darkness there’s no tomorrow
    In the memory of a fantasy fading
    The soul so broken yet still standing

    Is this not right, is it insane
    For all I do is done in vain
    Look in my heart and feel its pain
    My soul empty and bleeding again

    If you could only get inside my head
    And feel the words that you have said
    Heartache and pain life’s a game
    Could you see it and be the same

    So much more than who I am
    Overcome this I know I can
    One day in the future coming
    Onwards and upwards I’ll be running


    and last but not least... "Kingdom before dawn"

    Laying in my bed
    A few moments before dawn
    Staring down at you
    Sprawled across my chest
    You look just like an angel
    Resting quietly in my arms
    I try to imagine what you’re dreaming
    To which far off lands you’ve gone
    And in them will you find me
    Laying somewhere in the sun
    I wonder if you’ll miss me
    And wake to find me here
    As dawn shines through my window
    Slowly bathing you in light
    And from this moment on I’ll know
    That this bed is our kingdom
    In our land before dawn
    I'm not a complete idiot... some pieces are missing

    Quote Originally Posted by DingDong
    "Hi... I rang about the cats you have for sale..."..... "oh... you have children.... how much for the children?"

    mucho papoosa bueno no panocha

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by vifferman
    A thorough understanding of the language is quite useful in order to be able to write good prose.
    All in good time. He is 14.
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by vifferman
    A thorough understanding of the language is quite useful in order to be able to write good prose.
    Yeah I know but I am only 4th form. Give me a break man. I'm a musician and poetry to me are lyrics without music. I write according to my knowledge of the words etc.

    Here are a few songs I wrote a while ago...

    Necrophilia

    Last time she touched me
    I set a course for L.A.
    Midnight flight!
    Now she tried to tell me
    That she comes from the grave
    Such a sight!

    Stay away
    Your hands are cold
    Frigid lips
    Evil soul
    Yeah
    She's a deceiver
    Disbeliever
    Inconceiver
    Necrophilia

    Black candles burning
    On her altar of ice
    She's no fight!
    Heavy metal maiden
    On her way through
    The night air!

    Get away
    Your hands are cold
    Cadaver eyes
    Wicked soul
    Yeah
    No

    Black candles burning
    On her altar of ice
    She's no fight!
    Heavy metal maiden
    On her way through
    The night air!

    Stay away
    Your hands are cold
    Frigid lips
    Evil soul
    Yeah
    She's a deceiver
    Disbeliever
    Inconceiver
    Necrophilia

    Past Tense

    You don't have to tell me when it's over
    Because I knew it from the start.
    Every day that we spend lying
    You keep on breaking my heart.

    You can smile at days gone by
    You can say that love made sense
    But baby, nothing really matters
    When you're speaking in
    Past Tense

    You stand before me softly smiling
    As we talk of days long past
    Maybe we were only dreaming
    To think that we'd make it last

    You can smile at days gone by
    You can say that love made sense
    But baby, nothing really matters
    When you're speaking in
    Past Tense

    You don't have to tell me when it's over
    Because I knew it from the start.
    Every day that we spend lying
    You keep on breaking my heart.

    You can smile at days gone by
    You can say that love made sense
    But baby, nothing really matters
    When you're speaking in
    Past Tense

    Society

    We don't need politics (Whispered)

    I play russian roulette everyday
    I sit in my room all alone
    I killed everything, everyone
    Not gunna be okay
    I'm just wasting away
    Like you!

    And society
    I don't care about rules
    Gunna never shutup
    Gunna change this world
    'Til it fucking rules!

    I slit my wrists everyday
    I drink what drips
    I killed everything, everyone
    Not gunna be okay
    I'm just wasting away
    Like you!

    And society
    I don't care about rules
    Gunna never shutup
    Gunna change this world
    'Til it fucking rules!

    I play russian roulette
    I slit my wrists
    I'm fucked in the head
    Just wish I was dead

    And society
    I don't care about rules
    Gunna never shutup
    Gunna change this world
    'Til it fucking rules!

    And society (NC)
    I don't care about rules
    Gunna never shutup
    Gunna change this world
    'Til it fucking rules!

    Welcome to the Night

    Welcome to the night
    I knew you were coming
    It was just of matter of when
    This is where the end begins
    So many things to fear, so dark and lonely here
    Now the sun's gone down, and you are near
    All the weeping and the wailing
    Of everyone that fell for your love
    This was their destiny they get no rest or sleep

    Welcome to the night
    I knew there'd be someone
    Special from above
    And you'd fool around and fall in love
    He knew your game cause he played the same
    We're all here and so glad you came
    To see all the weeping and the wailing
    Of everyone that fell for your love
    This is what fate sealed now you know how it feels

    The night is calling for you
    Cause crying eyes hide from light
    Don't worry we'll listen to your story
    We're used to staying up all night
    You walked a thin line
    That separated love from hate
    We're checking out at nine, you have a whole lifetime
    Gotta go I'm running late

    Welcome to the night
    You'll have company, your shadow and agony
    There's plenty of time to get to know misery

    Over

    Merciful sky and all things higher
    Hear me now, my crimson plea.
    The beads of hope as I perspire
    Fall down as I struggle to see.

    This storm, angry and cruel,
    The epitome of all I ask.
    Revert back to the darkened pool,
    And hide with your ignorant mask.

    Viridian eyes watch as they gleam (the heavens part)
    The heavens part and unleash their fury.
    Though things are not always what they seem,
    My words echo out in a blue reverie.

    Forget not what grace has taught
    Just as the sapphire river flows.
    When thunder roars, lightning is sought
    Hence you will reap what you sow.

    This storm, angry and cruel,
    The epitome of all I ask.
    Revert back to the darkened pool,
    And hide with your ignorant mask.

    Viridian eyes watch as they gleam (the heavens part)
    the heavens part and unleash their fury.
    Though things are not always what they seem,
    My words echo out in a blue reverie.

    Oo now as I glare into the rain
    the mist clears to find you standing here.
    The storm dies down, in hopes you'd change
    Thus I become naive to divert my fear.

    This storm, angry and cruel
    the epitome of all I ask.
    Revert back to the darkened pool,
    And hide with your ignorant mask.

    Viridian eyes watch as they gleam (the heavens part)
    the heavens part and unleash their fury.
    Though things are not always what they seem,
    My words echo out in a blue reverie.

    You've torn this painting all apart
    so there's nothing left for me to say!

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by placidfemme
    My poems arn't anything like yours, so I'll only post my fav's...........
    Nice work. The first one is awesome. They all are but the first is my fav.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

  14. #14
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    Do you know whats really cool - a 14 y/o kid and a gay female posting poetry on a bikers forum! You two rock- more power to ya!!
    Diarrhoea is hereditary - it runs in your jeans

    If my nose was running money, I'd blow it all on you...

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by yungatart
    Do you know whats really cool - a 14 y/o kid and a gay female posting poetry on a bikers forum! You two rock- more power to ya!!
    Lol. Well we can do what we like. It's 'Rave On' so why not? I felt like so yeah.

    Peace hath higher tests of manhood

    than battle ever knew.

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