The popes problem
One morning the Pope awoke in his bedchamber in the
Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up
with a massive erection.; Perplexed, he called on his
personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the
Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 50
years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural
phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from
time to time". The Pope exclaimed "But you must do
something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this
thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options... either I can
administer an injection to your penis to make the problem
go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can
just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve
yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option.
Unbeknownst to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked
into the Vatican, and just as the Pope reaches that point
of no return, up pops the photographer and begins snapping
away.
The Pope immediately summons his security guards, who
arrest the photographer, and begin to beat him up. The
paparazzo shouts out, "Hey, I thought you were a Christian
organization! What has happened to your forgiveness?"
Upon reflection, the pope agrees with the photographer, and
relents, saying "Yes, my son, you are right, we shall
release you. Unfortunately, we cannot return your camera,
as we cannot allow the scandal of what is contained on the
film to be seen in the outside world."
Never slow to take an opportunity, the photographer
replies, "But this is how I make my living! If you take my
camera, I'll lose the money I could have sold the
photographs for!"
The Pope, feeling guilty, agrees. "Very well, we will
compensate you. How about $100,000?"
Ecstatic, the man agrees, and is soon on his way. The Pope,
meanwhile attends confession, and the whole story comes
out. For his penance, he is therefore ordered to walk three
times around St. Peter's, with the offending camera around
his neck.
Out on his walk, he meets a Japanese tourist:
"Ah, so, very nice Japanese camera you got there,
Mr. Pope," says the man, "how much you pay for it?"
"Being the Pope, I cannot tell a lie," he replies, "I must
confess that I paid $100,000 for it."
"Ah," says the Japanese gentleman, "look like someone saw
you coming!"
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