Womans Dictionary

**feistyredhead** · 5th August 2005, 09:38

Subject: Woman's Dictionary

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

**bugjuice** · 5th August 2005, 09:58

sweet, now we just need a manual for everything else, and blokes will have an easy life..

**feistyredhead** · 5th August 2005, 10:08

Originally Posted by bugjuice

sweet, now we just need a manual for everything else, and blokes will have an easy life..

you guys have an easy life? naaa we would think some other way to torture you!

**Beemer** · 5th August 2005, 10:43

WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and
you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only
five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the
game before helping around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end
in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with
you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.

WHATEVER
The polite way of a woman saying F@*k Off or F@*k You! Sometimes used in
place of FINE.

**bugjuice** · 5th August 2005, 10:52

Originally Posted by feistyredhead

you guys have an easy life? naaa we would think some other way to torture you!

what, you don't have enough ways already?
Thanks for the additional info Beemer..

**Beemer** · 5th August 2005, 11:38

Funnily enough I use "whatever" to mean just that - "whatever you like is fine by me" but my husband uses it in the sense I posted! When he says "whatever" it's time to leave him alone!