Towards the end of my Moms life she often said "the sooner my heart stops beating the better", it was not an easy thing to listen to. It was understandable though, as she was a very sick woman, in constant pain, and suffering terrible side effects from her radiation treatment.
I had to sit here and watch her deteriorate, it was a horrible time for all of us. We could all see her quality of life getting less and less with each week that passed, and I grew fearful she would die alone and in a terrible mess. I lived over 2 hours drive from her. She refused to call for help (Life Link) as she knew that the next time she went to hospital it would mean the end of her independance, she was too sick to live alone. Of course there came a time that she had no choice.
Many weeks in hospital getting firstly stabilised, then moving to testing and then with a lot of support the decision to move to a rest home. While she was in hospital she improved a little as she was given and made to take her meds on time, she was given food to eat, and supplements to drink (which she nibbled on and sipped at) and there were people there to help her when she got really sick. She still wanted her heart to stop beating, she used to tell anyone that listened, she really had had enough of being unwell, but was looking forward to moving closer to me and her grandchildren.
The day before I was to pick her up she was her usual self, overnight something went wrong and I got a call in the moring to gather the family and come quickly as she had deteriorated badly. My poor Mommy was in a bad way when we arrived, and it was very obvious that she was morbidly sick this time. The doctors were wonderful and explained everything to us and made sure that Mom was presrcibed all the medication that might be needed on an as required basis.
So we waited, and loved her, and looked after her. We medicated her when she needed it. I was so happy that I could be there to care for her at that time of her life, and that I would be there to love her to death as I wished to do. I was happy for her, as her wish was about to be granted and her poor old heart was going to stop soon. Then she spoke her last words to me, "I dont want to die". Floored me, nothing worse than that feeling, it was too late, she was going to die and there was nothing anyone could do.
Then I realised she was frightened of the process of dying, not of death itself. Thankfully I had the suppport of the doctors and nurses caring for Mom, and the medications prescribed that could be given to Mom to ease any discomfort, of whatever nature she might experience as the end of her life arrived. Wonderfully peaceful passing for my Mom, and a HUGE hole left in my life.
If you want to call it, then I killed my Mom. I was the one that asked for all the drugs that were given to her in the last 24 hours of her life. The doctors told me she was dying and gave me the tools to make her passing easy and quick.
John Key says euthanasia is already practised in New Zealand, he takes a very simplistic view of the issue, it is one I agree with.
Call it as you wish, this poor man finally got his peace. Poor bastard had to go through all that before he got sick enough to die. Sad, sad times for his whanau.
Originally Posted by Gubb
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