Duz tha speak Yorkshire?

[ellipsis]

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club-goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.



Police say the dangerous practice is called: "e by gum"











A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.



Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."



Vet: "Is it a tom?"



Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi me."








A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.



Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"



Jeweller: "D’ ya want it 18 carat?"



Yorkshireman: "Naw, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"






The last is always the best ...........



Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies, "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

[unstuck]

My mum and dad still talk like that, I got it beaten out of me at Maharahara primary school outside Dannevirke when we first came here.

[Paul in NZ]

Two London businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick yokel is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshire lad walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin' ere lad?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshire lad said, "Tha's doing well then ........Only two left!"

[Maha]

My mum and dad still talk like that, I got it beaten out of me at Maharahara primary school outside Dannevirke when we first came here.

I was going to steal the sign when we were there in 08'...
The other sign was a bit big to fit in the tank bag..